loathing
My Beast
The tears fall,
Harder and faster,
My mind breaks,
Splits and fractures,
Torn in different ways,
How can I stay?
Im not wanted,
Useless and a burden,
Life seems meaningless,
Walked off the forest path,
Lost inside my own mind,
The cold,
Dark and forboding,
An icy chill with no wind,
Shattered sound in the distance,
The beast is coming,
Its knocking at my door,
Howling at the moon,
Eyes black with hate,
Pointy fangs grinning,
I want it to rip me apart,
Limb from limb,
Drink my body dry,
Savour the taste of my soul,
The destructive energy,
The unrelenting force,
Power,
Silver tongue gleaming,
A quick flick,
A red droplet escapes,
I feel the teeth sink in,
My flesh inviting this beast closer,
Deeper and deeper it bites,
Never looking away from my eyes,
It knows Im trapped,
Frozen to the spot,
My life ebbing slowly,
Each heartbeat a little fainter,
Drinking deep from my wrist,
The beast never misses another drop,
I can feel the tongue slicing,
My blood racing out,
The beast grins one last time,
It wants my soul,
A final meal,
Instead it leaves me there,
A pool of nothing,
Even my beast doesnt want me.
The Day My Heart Died
With this letter I say goodbye,
As the daylight fades to night,
Tears roll down my cheeks,
Pen trembles in my hand,
My lungs gasping for air,
The monsters under my bed,
The voices in my head,
Hypnotised by the shiny metal,
I feel numb and dead inside,
Totally zombified but without purpose,
Lies and lies that have been said,
Pumped full of chaos,
Traumatised by the outside,
For as long as I can remember,
I have wanted to die,
Feeding off my broken heart and mind,
Despair swirld round like smoke,
Emptiness becoming normal,
Fill my veins with formaldehyde,
The day has finally come,
The day my heart died.
Enter My Fear
and the darkness shrouds the land in only misery's cries.
Enter grief!
A timeless ocean.
Trapped of despair, trapped without relief
Enter the moon!
Endless racing of the thoughts.
Including you alone, trapped dead inside an empty room
The dead is holding you stiff once more!
Staring into your eyes, never have you felt so gone before
The time comes again, to pit against all that is you
Will you ever find the part of you that is actually true?
Paint the sky bleak
Consider everything we cannot speak
The one painting with the sun I painted as a child is lost.
Reality has broken the barrier, this is the ultimate cost
The Shadow of Despair
The Shadow of Despair
This is about how its all my fault,
A tragedy sealed behind an impenetrable vault.
Mistakes made at every turn, demons lurking behind every corner
betrayed by my own hypocrisy, perhaps someone should alert the coroner.
Blame it on me, my failure your scapegoat, often the whispered joke.
I can feel the sinking of gravity as it pushes down on me,
I can feel the clash of depravity as it wages it's war within me.
The battle cry, the song of death as one day I will take my final breath.
With each passing day, I fail to find the words I desperately wish to say.
I have lost my sight, I have lost my way.
Grew distracted by the web of life,
mesmerized by all of the flashy and fancy lights
and like a month to the candle, drawn towards the flame.
I can run on and on, going no where fast,
running in circles, chasing forgotten dreams of the past.
Can you hear me? Can you see me? Have you become lost?
“Lost within the forest of sorrow,
hidden behind the mountains of pain.
Hope becomes a treasure of faith.
A forgotten lore, a path littered with traps
riddled by reminders of all the past mistakes
haunted and tormented by the few regrets.
My spirit remains strong in this time of chaos,
The desire to live, too survive at any cost.”
Look inside yourself, for the answer to this question.
Should divinity be born as an obsession?
Run the gauntlet and strive for perfection?
Wake up, we are trapped within this illusion, this dream
and we are starting to rot trying to figure out what it all means.
Sealed away in this crazy house, it's a game of cat and mouse.
Born into this mad circus, a game without any purpose
when did chaos reign in order, a storm of war one after the other.
A lone wolf, a lone voice, call it's bluff and make your choice.