Author Information
My Beast
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Depression The tears fall,
Harder and faster,
My mind breaks,
Splits and fractures,
Torn in different ways,
How can I stay?
Im not wanted,
Useless and a burden,
Life seems meaningless,
Walked off the forest path,
Lost inside my own mind,
The cold,
Dark and forboding,
An icy chill with no wind,
Shattered sound in the distance,
The beast is coming,
Its knocking at my door,
Howling at the moon,
Eyes black with hate,
Pointy fangs grinning,
I want it to rip me apart,
Limb from limb,
Drink my body dry,
Savour the taste of my soul,
The destructive energy,
The unrelenting force,
Power,
Silver tongue gleaming,
A quick flick,
A red droplet escapes,
I feel the teeth sink in,
My flesh inviting this beast closer,
Deeper and deeper it bites,
Never looking away from my eyes,
It knows Im trapped,
Frozen to the spot,
My life ebbing slowly,
Each heartbeat a little fainter,
Drinking deep from my wrist,
The beast never misses another drop,
I can feel the tongue slicing,
My blood racing out,
The beast grins one last time,
It wants my soul,
A final meal,
Instead it leaves me there,
A pool of nothing,
Even my beast doesnt want me.
A powerful metaphor, through and through
Admittedly not the write that my mind anticipated, having noticed your chosen pen name. Caught me a little off guard, despite the title "My Beast". Maybe it made this even more powerful, and real. Much as I've personally experienced with two different friends in the past, it often comes as a total shock to find out someone is victimizing themselves in this way as a result of emotional suffering. As in your words here, they were left to cope not just with what led them to want to teeter on the edge of fleeing life, this point of cutting themselves, but then also, additionally, to cope with the after effects...feeling left in a no-man's land between life and death. Feeling worthy of neither.
To me, your words captured what they expressed to me in the late hours of many nights, almost too precisely. I hope, for you, putting it in pen led to the needed release being found there. All the best to you.