*I Will Be*



 Trisha Barrk Hopkins


I will be your strength

When you are weak


I'll be your shine

When you are in darkness


I will be your compass 

When you are lost


I will be your air

When you can't breathe


I will be your future 

When you want to forget your past 


I will be your life

When you feel like dying 


I will give you love

When you feel like hating 


I will be your tissue

When you feel like crying


I'll be the understanding

When you no longer feel like dating 


I will be your words

When you have nothing to say


I will be your morning

When you feel like you have no day


I will be your water 

When you are thirsty


I will be your shade 

When you are hot 


I will be your eyes

When you no longer can see 


I will be with you

When you're at your favorite spot


I will be the one who restarts your heart

When it feels like it wants to die


I will be your legs

When you can no longer walk


I will be your something

When you feel like you have nothing


I'll be your words

When you can't talk


I will be your love

Till my dying day

Promise you everything

I'll stick by your side 

When no one else will

I will be your whatever

I will be your something

Always and forever



*This Could Be*


 February.18.2013/ April.12.2015

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins


This could be the dream come true

If you'd let me into your heart

A passion you never knew

No matter how tough

Just let me take care of you 

Trust me from you my love I'll never part

I'll stick by your side no matter how rough

You are by far my one true other half

You have been from the very start


I'll hold your hand

Through thick and thin

Right next to you is where I stand

I'm forever your woman

Who'll cherish you forever

Because you are truely my man

Lets stick together

From here to the moon my soul

Never start over 

Making you happy....Forever taking care of you

Will forever be my goal

I'll pick you up when you are down

Praying your heart no one has stole

I promise to make you smile

Whenever you wear a frown

My love in your heart I promise to stay for a long while


From the skies above

And all though out town

People will see what is true love

When they see us side by side

Hand in hand

God sent the angels to give us a message

That sticking through it together is in demand

That my nana believes we are soulmates

We are truely meant to be together and grow old

To never go to bed with hate

To kiss and have love in our hearts

You finding me was truely fate

This is what I've been told 

It has been written in the stars

I'll hold onto that message forever and always

To you I forever tightly will hold

And love you more and more each passing day


I will cherish and protect

Give you my shoulder for when you cry

Wipe away your tears

Our love I will never let it die

I will help you get through your fears

To you I promise never to lie

Honesty is all I ask for now in return

Have our dreams soar high

Promise to my heart you won't burn

Sweetheart I do ask

Please to me don't ever say good-bye

And from our past mistakes let us from it learn

To never repeat them again

Always remember there's no "could of been"


Keeping your heart my home

I know won't be an easy task

But I swear on my life I will always try

Please don't ever kick me out 

For that is my home

As for my heart is yours

Don't let this love pass us by 

Promise to eachother to not make it feel like an everyday chore

Lets be together untill we die

Even after we are angels

Flying freely in the sky

For I will forever stand by my man

Sweetheart you are my special Valentine

If anyone trys to take you away 

Shit will definitely hit the fan 

And it will be that persons worst day

I believe you will forever be mine

I want with you to take care 

To pick you up when your feeling blue

When you have cloudy days I will make them brightly shine

And make you feel brand new 


Everyday new experiences with you I want to share

Experience new excitement and make new memories

Every night lay on your chest

Your heart beat I want to hear

In your arms forever rest

Knowing for you I'll always care

Knowing that you know I think you're the best

This could be 

I know I'm almost there

I'll wait forever untill you see

When you look in my eyes and stare

I'm here to help you let go of your doubt

No one else will understand you like me 

No one else will show how much they care

Or treat you like your suppose to be 

To show you true love they don't dare

They do not see how great you are 

In your own true way

Unlike with them you don't have to put on a pretend show

With me you can be and act the way you want

Because honey your my luckiest star

You're the cutest there's no need to flaunt

This I hope you know


I will help make you see that everyday

That you are perfect as can be 

I love you everytime is what I'll always say

This I hope you can really see

While you soundly sleep

I'll keep watch so you can peacefully rest

And in your dreams forever play

I'll protect your soul

I'll protect you in each and every way

This will be my lasting goal

Know this honey this is my test

To show you my love

I Will show my very best

Each and everyday

To you a new way I will show you how

Our connection will never end soon

We are finally as one 

I will forever love you from here to the moon




Author's Notes/Comments: 

Dedicated to the one I truely love....Derrick Mann


Be what your dream says,

Accept what God pays,

Do whatever is good,

Behave like a saint not being rude.


Avoid bad company,

Help like Jesus many,

See what is good to see,

Talk to enliven your psyche.


Read like the writers to a large extent,

Laugh like a Greco King when content,

Cry like a baby with a heart depressing,

Hold arms before leaving.


Share knowledge like a sage,

Teach like Aesop those below your age,

Go like Hercules beyond your limits and creeds,

Carry on like Beowulf the excellent deeds.


Stay with me like a shadow,

Support me today and tomorrow,

Kiss me as if it were the last,


Love me ever, love me must.

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Daydream Believer

human beings



^^open in new tab to hear^^


I don't know how you feel,

Only you know that.


I know what can happen to a person

When they have been beat down

To a point where they feel they cannot 

Handle living anymore,

You can close yourself off from feeling,

Sort of like a shut off valve is in the back

Of your subconscious,

And you just decide that it isn't

Worth feeling anything at all

Because if there is going 

To be negativity along with it,

Well, you would rather feel nothing

At all...ever could care less.


Life wasn't supposed to be like this, right?

There wasn't supposed to be any bad feelings

Once love came to town,

The recipe doesn't call for sadness,

Not now, not ever, and if it did,

It would be like it is 

For someone like Brittany Spears, 

Or Kim Kardashian, where the entire world 

Cares about the outcome, right?


So go ahead, just roll all of those feelings 

Up into a tight little ball 

And let them roll where they will 

Inside your body...rolling along, 

Like a big black snowball collecting 

All the dark and scary real life things 

That you just cannot handle,

Because if you did, 

It would mean you have to face 

How much you resent the fact 

That you were lied to, 

Bamboozled by your own 

Loving parents hand,

Misguided by teachers, preachers, 

And well-meaning friends 

Who never had to go through 

What you're going through now--

And if they did, it wasn't as bad as what

You are going through, right?


Just let that ball keep rolling---

Or maybe you did, 

And now you're feeling it 

Roll up behind you,

And as it does, it is creating 

The reality you never asked for, 

Maybe you are feeling as if it is 

Going to just roll right over you 

And there won't be 

Anything left of you---at all,

It will take over like a bad virus,

And just as you planned, 

You'll never get to feel love again--


It only makes you scared 

To feel it, now, anyway, right?


But what of your mother and father,

And their dreams and expectations 

They have been planning for you?

Aren't you supposed to be alive

For the sole purpose of doing

As they ask? 

You want to be happy, right?

You want to be like them? 

Making them happy 

Is what will make you happy?

Or maybe you are confused

About how you even feel,

And that big black ball 

Is really about to swallow you up

And you are scared,

And underneath it,

You are angry, 




Maybe even a tiny bit hopeful...

Holding on with despair to the 

Fairytale ending---

Happily Ever After---

Admit it!! You believed it!!

You believed the lie!!


You may just want to

Make it all stop somehow, 

But you don't know how.

And you want to ask for help,

But you are even afraid to do that,

And you have no idea why,

Except for that everyone has 

Always told you asking for help

Isn't what you need.


You mean the same people

Who told you love would make 

Your life easy, wonderful, blissful

Everyday without ever having 

Any bad days or making any mistakes

And having to answer for them?

The same people who led you to

Believe that all you have to do 

Is say a Hail Mary and an Our Father

Every night and that life

Will magically fall into place? 

The same people who told you 

That as long as you behave as

A good person, citizen, student,

Then love will come and come to stay,

And now that it didn't pan out that way,

It's just your sorry fault,

Because, hell---they found a way

To make the lie appear real to them,

And if you can't then ---why---

It must be you that is doing it wrong, 











There is no right or wrong way,

You are doing it right, 

And they are doing it right

But it is not easy to be honest 

With yourself when everyone

Around you is caught up in 

Something that is only real for them,

Just as your pain right now,

Is only real for you,

And no matter who you tell about it,

That part won't change,

Because this is your life,

And the pain is your pain, 

Your experience to experience,

No one knows what you are feeling,

Nor will they ever, 

But you might be able to find 

People who will listen,

Who have had similar experiences,

Who won't lie to you and tell you 

That it's raining when they are 

Really pissing down the side 

Of your leg because their life 

Happens to be going well for them,

And maybe you aren't a carbon copy 

Of everyone you grew up with.


Maybe you are different.

Maybe you are you,

And that is enough.

And maybe once you accept that,

And once you decide that is ok,

Then maybe you will be able 

To love without having to 

Have someone else to love first.

Because how can you give 

Something to someone that 

You never had for yourself?

The choice is easy,

Love without expectaion of getting

Anything back in return,

And never love if it is not 

Coming straight from your heart,

And what you get back, 

However large or small it may be,

Will always be a bonus of loving freely,

And enjoying the simple things

In life will become your 

Greatest wealth.


Or, you can have a pretend love with someone,

Where you perform certain actions

That everyone in society says 

And believes love is,

And get back what society says 

Love is in return from those actions,

Making love the game society 

Has made of it---to make lots of money,

To get married and buy into

The system of material gain,

To be up to your neck

In bills, to make it appear to 

Everyone that you have succeeded in life,

And to never taste true freedom

Within your soul and mind,

To live your life within a strictly

Monitored boundary of what love 

Can and cannot be.

And whatever you choose 

Is what you will become.

There is no right or wrong way,

There is only the way that is 

Going to be best for the person

You have grown to be,

Or the person you would like 

To grow to be, which doesn't

Involve anyone else until

You learn who that person is

within yourself



Choose wisely, whatever you choose,

And decide to be happy with it,

Whatever you choose.


3:25 AM 7/26/2013 ©


Author's Notes/Comments: 

just some thoughts on feelings and ways people may feel.


(photo is not my creation)


Never Close The Doors


In our mundane lives, we are often told
In so many unspoken words that the mind is dead in spirit,
Could it be that it is the very heart of our earthly human existence?
The main entrance to the spirit that adorns our very soul?
Inklings of thought slithering every waking hour
From the obscurity of our subconscious,
Pushing the envelope at every chance to inspire creative ways
For us to open our eyes to the tasks our soul is longing for.


Why do so many damn the mind?
Does cursing what we choose not to see, hear, taste,
In this world of wonderment and intricate fascination please us?

Or is it that the status quo is more important to us
Than our reason for coming here? 
Thoughts are the doors to our self actualization,
And we need to leave the doors open
With a stable and harmonious blend of life
To balance the scales within us, using the uncomfortable truths of life
To evolve as a compassionate species.


Emotions can take control of humans easily in this age,
And can distort our vision in a way that deceives us, grieves us,
Because they pass through us like nothing but waves on the beach
If we allow them to flow along their merry way,
But we listen to words of intrepidation and horror,

And we attach emotions to those thoughts,

They become very powerful and then
We somehow find that we feel safe in the hands of a ghostly reality
That tells us to beware instead of telling us to simply be aware,
To hold our heads high, accept what is, and trust the quiet voice within,
To leave the door open as much as we can
So that there is room for love to flow through it.


Love is not emotion, and emotion is not love,
Control the emotion through a continuous cycle
Of feeling, letting go, feeling letting go,
Because love...well,
You may think you can control it,
But you will only be fooling yourself.

Once you love, it never ends, and is never wasted,
It will return to you in some way, even if it is not the way you would like,
And chances are, if you choose to think you can control it,
You might never realize when you are being a channel for it,
Which is the part of loving that is most enjoyable.


Everyone will hurt you in life, even if it is only a small insignificant hurt,

Just choose people who you know you will be willing to accept the hurt from.




11:21 PM 5/6/2013 ©

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Words on the beauty of open-mindedness.

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I want to be your Ex-Man


I want to be your ex-man because he had an opportunity to be with you. 

To spend time with you.  

To kiss you. 

To hug you. 

To look into those beautiful brown eyes to tell you he loves you. 

I want to be your ex-man because there was lonely nights you were home waiting for him and when he walked through that door your eyes lit up so bright. 

I want to be your ex-man because those times I wish were mine. 

I want to be your ex-man because he had an opportunity. 

Something you’re not willing to give me. 

Something you did not see in front of you as I stand. 

I want to be your ex-man because he was able to express his love to you.  

To hold you tight. 

To call you his forever in life. 

I want to be your ex-man because I want to know what it feels like to wake up and have you by my side. 

I want to be your ex-man because I know all the things he has done wrong.

I could do perfectly right. 

I want to be your ex-man because I want to hear you say “I love you. Baby without you I’m nothing. Baby together we can make it through.” 

I want to be your ex-man because for all the things you have gone through 

I know there was times you wished he would have hugged you and kissed you and said the right words. 

I wish I were your ex-man because if I was I would say the words you should hear. 

I would kiss you when the time is right. 

I would look at you and tell you I love you baby and that everything is going to be alright. 

I want to be your ex-man because you said yes to him the first time he asked you out. 

First time I asked you out I never was given a chance. 

So, baby let me be your man. 

Let me be your ex-man. 

Let me have just one dance. 

Everyone's alike - Amanda Todd Story -

Every single day I hate the fact that I'm alive
I just want someone to be there and hold me when I cry
I feel like an outcast I can sympathize Rosa parks
Being beaten up and left in the ditch to die in the dark
I cry myself to sleep after suicide attempts
To me life is a burden something I want exempt
What is so different between me and you
Sure I made mistakes but that what humans do
No one reached out their hand when I needed their help
All they could ever do was think about themselves
They say don't judge a book by its cover and that is true
It just happens to be that my cover is of me nude
Don't let my death be in vain I'm spreading a message
I'm trying to change society, being a friend is the lesson
In the end of the day we're all still the same
Reflect on your actions and next time use your brain

Author's Notes/Comments: 

My condolences to the families that have lost someone due to bullying. The Amanda Todd story touched me because she tried so hard to fit in and not because she was pretty or talented... The more that she tried, the more they rejected her and more cruel towards her. She made a stupid mistake and I'm sure she regretted it... Its just sad seeing how hard she tried only to take her own life... Its even worse to see that most people say that its a shame because she is pretty or a talented singer... I think to myself would people care less if Amanda Todd wasn't pretty? It gives me little faith in society that even when people die, they only judge by looks.

- Amanda's Story -

This girl, her name is Amanda Todd.
She posted a video on YouTube a few days ago.
She was bullied so bad it led to suicide...

She was in a webcam chat group to meet up with new and old people.
They started calling her Beautiful, Stunning, cute, Etc.
And then they asked her to flash...
So she did.....
Thinking it was nothing...
A year went by and some guy she did not know, messaged her saying ”Give me a 'show' or I will send your boobs.”
She ignored it.....
Christmas Break came and a knock came on her door at 4 AM.
It was the police...
That person sent the picture to EVERYONE.
Everyone judged her.
Bullied her.
She ended up switching schools.
That person found out her school, friends, address once again and sent them there too.
She had no one.
Everyone hated her.
She ended up switching towns.
Then at this new school....She met this boy who she thought liked her.
He didn't....he had a girlfriend.
One day she got a note saying you better leave school.
She didn't.
A group of boys and girls including that boy, the girlfriend and more came up to her while the school surrounded her.
The girl said “Look around, No one likes you.”
One kid from the group said “JUST PUNCH HER ALREADY!” So she did, and Amanda got beat really bad.
And got left.
And her dad ended up finding her in a ditch hours later.
She went home and drank bleach, to try to kill herself.
It didn't work.
The next day all over her Facebook page was written
“Drink some more bleach",
"No one cares",
"I hope she dies, "No one would cry", "Everyone hates you", "Amanda try it again we dare you"…and so much more.
She cried every night. Why did everyone hate her.
One mistake.
She started cutting so much and did drugs,and drank alcohal.
She ended up trying to kill herself again.
She failed.
She couldnt take it anymore.
At the end of the video it said ”I am Amanda Todd. I just need someone.” October 10th she hung herself.
She is dead. Rest in paradise, Amanda. You're beautiful. I will find a way to help stop bullying. I will share your story.
Heaven gained an angel. xo.

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Who I want to be

The taste of blood
The smell of fire
I'm captivated
By the death all around me

Should I be afraid?
Should I feel something?
Is this all there is?
Am I missing something?

Your lifeless eyes,
Are telling me secrets.
It's no surprise,
I can't understand what they're saying

Can something be done,
To stop all the madness?
Can this war be won?
I'm sick of your sadness
It's killing me.

I'm dying,
I'm wasting,
I'm wilting,
I'm waiting,

For a prince who will never arrive,
It's time to decide.
Who I want to be.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Another song/poem. Also, not the whole thing. This one is played on guitar, a lot of drum work. One of my favorites, please comment and let me know what you think!