drowning

Maybe I'll Be It

You feel you can deplete me

Make me feel small

Have me question you, 

Then get angry when I do

 

I hold onto you

Feel hopeless without you

Grab on to your coat tails

And let you drag me through the mud

 

I am nothing without you

Or so I tell myself sometimes

You are nothing without me

 

What's happening here?

How am I losing focus?

What's happening to me?

Where am I going?

 

Only following you

Only seeing you

Wondering why you float away from me

 

I am stronger than this

I am a woman

I am independent when I need to be

And I can kick your teeth in

 

I'm not begging for you

Or giving you that time of day

Make your own decision

 

Maybe I'll be it

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2/20/2018

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Sunken Promises

Folder: 
Prevailing

Selfish eyes; projected

Honesty no longer your guide

Perceiving the veracity within you

Filthy laundry you cannot hide

 

Your lips; they wisp so softly

Distracted ears will never heed

A slithering snake so diluted

With only your vast ego to feed

 

Over time you were allowed

To take your amenities and wildly run

No longer will the wrecked wave on

All the dirty deeds you’ve done

 

Crossfire rains around

A frail structure that’s left to sink

No life jacket is thrown to salvage

Everything gone within a blink

All alone All along

like porcelain shavings

her skin began to crack

like a feather floating on thin air

she's losing strands of silken hair

 

the mirror spits back 

all the qualities in which we lack

like needles in our eyes

poisoned with vain lies

 

she savored the quiet moments 

devoid of conversation 

the sound of still breathing

the footsteps that followed him leaving.

 

the closer I feel

the further you fade

the more I crave

the less you feed

so I chose not to need 

a single thing..

 

will there ever be a solid bridge built to cross..?

a river below, to toss our fears away...

voices muffled, as she sank deeper

yet no hand reaches.

sunshine streaks through the surface

the only warmth you'll get

engulfed in cold fluids

& a heart weighed down by loves disillusions---

many reminders of what could have been..

 

all alone

she knew it all along..

Author's Notes/Comments: 

5.7.15

"Dancing in the Deep

Folder: 
Just a thought!

I stand amidst a rising tide, chained to rocks below,

Crashing waves in watery graves, will claim another soul.

Windy wakes on rocky breaks pound against my brow,

Waters surge, I steal a breath, no one to save me now.

Light magnified on ocean ripples, blind my burning eyes,

Yet, the salty water drowning me, soothes my teary cries.

Horizon light dissapearing as relentless waters creep...

Another crew with an ocean view, "dancing in the deep."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

"Dancing in the Deep"

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A Fever

Folder: 
Voodoo

Brilliant warm reds

caress the darkening sky

A fever pitch of

colored emotion

I am not at all

at peace

Pieces come un glu ed

with blue blurred

lines and a hopscotch

of memories


Spinning and spinning

Eyes upward, heart heartward, feet floating

 

I can swim but sometimes drowning scares

the hell out of me

Inside. I stay there often; too often.

Too often, time is reduced to

tentative and fleeting moments.

Brilliant warm reds

caress the darkening sky

A fevered pitch of

colored emotion

I am not at all at peace

Pieces come un glu ed

Though, sometimes-

the glow of sunshine

defrosts my thoughts

and devastates my

structured palace

The walls, they tumble down

And, in the span of two small breaths

I step outside

to not just watch

but to become.

Two small breaths

-Laughter

Two small breaths

-Joy

Two small breaths

-Surrender

Two small breaths

-Drowning


Spinning and spinning

Eyes upward, heart heaving, feet frantic

 

The heavy drum of heartache

beats beats beats

I can swim

but only

if I stay inside

Only, inside.

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Lucid dreams

so deep, tripping through
a vault of echoes opened by you.
your love like fine wine
one sip so sweet
my lips could never compete.

 

an open road, a valley
a place to let it all seep in
warm like blood & tender as your skin
heart to heart syncing in.

 

eyes of the moon, tranquilized
swirling like valium
an ocean of consequence, I can barely swim.
which of us took the first dive in?
i'd drown in a thousand currents to stay here, by you
to hold the hand of hope
to gaze into the truth
walking alone on the path of dreams
where maybe in the end we'll meet..

Author's Notes/Comments: 


View blackrainbow0fhope's Full Portfolio

Drowning

Everywhere I look is destruction
Everything I’ve built is ruined
It’s remains litter my past
With little hope for the future
You are my own worst enemy
It’s not the pressure of what I should be
It’s that I’m drowning in a sea of Me
I can’t believe that you’d lie to my face
But that’s your nature
You can’t help it
You’re a spawn of the Father of Deceit himself
A child of the devil
Just let me go
Die already
That I may live
And live fuller
Let go of me!
I am no longer am under your power
So why do I fall for it?
Why can’t I die that I may live?
Why can’t I kill my Self that I may survive?
That demon of ancient instinct
Who’s preyed upon my soul for so long
I know what’s right
And yet I choose wrong
Willingly
Passionately
Go to Hell Self,
Go back to where you belong
Free my soul from your clutches
That I may live eternally
For I know you
And I am my own worst enemy

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Ocean of Sorrow

Everyday I feel the pressure of the lies... Because I have no answer to life's whys.
Drifting through a troubled sea... Consisting of my many faults, it seems.
Ships sail by, and never stop to see... If I might need some help, but only laugh with glee.
Trying to reach the closest vessel... But this ocean of sorrow requires all of my strength to wrestle.
I want to reach out, to call for a savior... But I can't deviate from my constructed behavior.
And I hope for peace, but to my fate I'm resigned... Because I know in my heart...it's something I'll never find.
So I wait, and hope for a sign... From someone...anyone...benign.
Everyday I feel the pressure of the lies... Because I stopped looking for answers to life's whys.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Another poem I wrote a while ago. Feedback would be appreciated, hope you like it!

My Ocean

I want to conduct the ocean
have the waves dance with me under moon's light.
I'll drown in your sweet abyss to see nature spark
the darkness that blinds this romance.
I'll suffer in your blue arms
as this enrapture turns me afloat.
I should breathe you in
so its bliss imprisons my outstretched soul;
turning against the echoes of your angelic sound.
Let the sirens of the sea cleanse my evils and good unto me.
If I should be damned
I'll sift along your sands;
becoming a treasure buried amongst my glory.
So dance with me as I enter your welcome
and hold me close until my last breath;
rippling my reflection into you.

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