You feel you can deplete me
Make me feel small
Have me question you,
Then get angry when I do
I hold onto you
Feel hopeless without you
Grab on to your coat tails
And let you drag me through the mud
I am nothing without you
Or so I tell myself sometimes
You are nothing without me
What's happening here?
How am I losing focus?
What's happening to me?
Where am I going?
Only following you
Only seeing you
Wondering why you float away from me
I am stronger than this
I am a woman
I am independent when I need to be
And I can kick your teeth in
I'm not begging for you
Or giving you that time of day
Make your own decision
Maybe I'll be it
Selfish eyes; projected
Honesty no longer your guide
Perceiving the veracity within you
Filthy laundry you cannot hide
Your lips; they wisp so softly
Distracted ears will never heed
A slithering snake so diluted
With only your vast ego to feed
Over time you were allowed
To take your amenities and wildly run
No longer will the wrecked wave on
All the dirty deeds you’ve done
Crossfire rains around
A frail structure that’s left to sink
No life jacket is thrown to salvage
Everything gone within a blink
like porcelain shavings
her skin began to crack
like a feather floating on thin air
she's losing strands of silken hair
the mirror spits back
all the qualities in which we lack
like needles in our eyes
poisoned with vain lies
she savored the quiet moments
devoid of conversation
the sound of still breathing
the footsteps that followed him leaving.
the closer I feel
the further you fade
the more I crave
the less you feed
so I chose not to need
a single thing..
will there ever be a solid bridge built to cross..?
a river below, to toss our fears away...
voices muffled, as she sank deeper
yet no hand reaches.
sunshine streaks through the surface
the only warmth you'll get
engulfed in cold fluids
& a heart weighed down by loves disillusions---
many reminders of what could have been..
all alone
she knew it all along..
I stand amidst a rising tide, chained to rocks below,
Crashing waves in watery graves, will claim another soul.
Windy wakes on rocky breaks pound against my brow,
Waters surge, I steal a breath, no one to save me now.
Light magnified on ocean ripples, blind my burning eyes,
Yet, the salty water drowning me, soothes my teary cries.
Horizon light dissapearing as relentless waters creep...
Another crew with an ocean view, "dancing in the deep."
Brilliant warm reds
caress the darkening sky
A fever pitch of
colored emotion
I am not at all
at peace
Pieces come un glu ed
with blue blurred
lines and a hopscotch
of memories
Spinning and spinning
Eyes upward, heart heartward, feet floating
I can swim but sometimes drowning scares
the hell out of me
Inside. I stay there often; too often.
Too often, time is reduced to
tentative and fleeting moments.
Brilliant warm reds
caress the darkening sky
A fevered pitch of
colored emotion
I am not at all at peace
Pieces come un glu ed
Though, sometimes-
the glow of sunshine
defrosts my thoughts
and devastates my
structured palace
The walls, they tumble down
And, in the span of two small breaths
I step outside
to not just watch
but to become.
Two small breaths
-Laughter
Two small breaths
-Joy
Two small breaths
-Surrender
Two small breaths
-Drowning
Spinning and spinning
Eyes upward, heart heaving, feet frantic
The heavy drum of heartache
beats beats beats
I can swim
but only
if I stay inside
Only, inside.
so deep, tripping through
a vault of echoes opened by you.
your love like fine wine
one sip so sweet
my lips could never compete.
an open road, a valley
a place to let it all seep in
warm like blood & tender as your skin
heart to heart syncing in.
eyes of the moon, tranquilized
swirling like valium
an ocean of consequence, I can barely swim.
which of us took the first dive in?
i'd drown in a thousand currents to stay here, by you
to hold the hand of hope
to gaze into the truth
walking alone on the path of dreams
where maybe in the end we'll meet..
Everywhere I look is destruction
Everything I’ve built is ruined
It’s remains litter my past
With little hope for the future
You are my own worst enemy
It’s not the pressure of what I should be
It’s that I’m drowning in a sea of Me
I can’t believe that you’d lie to my face
But that’s your nature
You can’t help it
You’re a spawn of the Father of Deceit himself
A child of the devil
Just let me go
Die already
That I may live
And live fuller
Let go of me!
I am no longer am under your power
So why do I fall for it?
Why can’t I die that I may live?
Why can’t I kill my Self that I may survive?
That demon of ancient instinct
Who’s preyed upon my soul for so long
I know what’s right
And yet I choose wrong
Willingly
Passionately
Go to Hell Self,
Go back to where you belong
Free my soul from your clutches
That I may live eternally
For I know you
And I am my own worst enemy
Everyday I feel the pressure of the lies... Because I have no answer to life's whys.
Drifting through a troubled sea... Consisting of my many faults, it seems.
Ships sail by, and never stop to see... If I might need some help, but only laugh with glee.
Trying to reach the closest vessel... But this ocean of sorrow requires all of my strength to wrestle.
I want to reach out, to call for a savior... But I can't deviate from my constructed behavior.
And I hope for peace, but to my fate I'm resigned... Because I know in my heart...it's something I'll never find.
So I wait, and hope for a sign... From someone...anyone...benign.
Everyday I feel the pressure of the lies... Because I stopped looking for answers to life's whys.
I want to conduct the ocean
have the waves dance with me under moon's light.
I'll drown in your sweet abyss to see nature spark
the darkness that blinds this romance.
I'll suffer in your blue arms
as this enrapture turns me afloat.
I should breathe you in
so its bliss imprisons my outstretched soul;
turning against the echoes of your angelic sound.
Let the sirens of the sea cleanse my evils and good unto me.
If I should be damned
I'll sift along your sands;
becoming a treasure buried amongst my glory.
So dance with me as I enter your welcome
and hold me close until my last breath;
rippling my reflection into you.