Death of Infatuation

Light and Dark

I've never seen an angel bleed

Till I stood with knife in hand

I've never seen a devil cry

Till I looked once through it's eyes


You were my drug

Long before I acclimated

Long before withdrawal

I needed you to survive


I can feel your eyes on my back

Can't you hear me?

I'm silent on the outside

But screaming on the inside

I'm soul-lost

I can't find who I am anymore


Maybe I'll be fine

Perhaps I will survive

But I just don't know if

I can outlast your memory


If I lose myself in drugs and dreams

Or fly away to places and things

To fill the gap you left behind

Consuming body, soul, and mind


But there is no need

To conjure dreams

When life comes

In such radiant colors


They say Pandora is to blame

Her curiosity brought us pain

And fear of darkness in the night

But there was hope in candle-light


From the dark, a light will shine

Before the day, the night has gone

And now we know it burns so fine

That is why it's called, breaking dawn.


And maybe, just maybe

That which dies gives birth to something new


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Needs a better title


From nightmare to nightmare ,

wake up from a nightmare,
 And enter this nightmare,
 it's never a dream,
 if ever at all ,
I stand I fall, 
Berate befall,
It's Never a dream ,
Control is a lie,
I live I die ,
L. E. V. I.,
It's never a dream,...(there is more but to slowly unleash the damn of me is taken well)

Antidote - March 24, 2012

Chapter One

I'm sorry about my burden, how I'm so wrong,

And how I'm so stupid with all that I do.

I'm sorry about the way I am, I dont belong.

I'm sorry that I never at all deserved you.


But you can't see this part of me I'm hiding,

That's so crudely hidden under what you see?

I'm sick of crying, and I can't keep on trying,

Without you I'm worthless, you are so free.


You're my antidote that gets me past every day,

You're the one to always save me from my agony.

I wish I could show you I can't live this way.

I wish I could show you my sorrowful blasphemy.


The infectious pain quickly tears me apart,

And shatters my will within a few words.

I feel so helpless, I wish I could restart,

And go back to when I wasn't such a coward.


You're my lost antidote, come cure this poisoning;

Come reverse me, turn me to my former being.

Please stay forever and keep me from maddening,

And keep me from the edge, stop the bleeding.

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My Drug


You are my drug
No, I don’t need
Coke or Meth
You’re all I need

I just need you
For the rest of my life, everyday
Even if u decide to walk
I'm going to stay

So learn to live with me
Because I cant live without
Not you, not ever
If you say you’re going to leave, I’ll pout

Just because I need a dose of
My drug everyday
Truthfully, my love for you
Is worse than any drug to this day

Because I need you
Every second of every day
Even when I sleep I need you
Because you make my nightmares go away

I love you
Is all I can say
And with you
Forever, will I stay

Written on
January 19, 2012

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one's another one to Tom Neville. He is my drug. I need him every second of everyday. When I cant be with him, it's like my soul is missing. This is how much I feel for him. I love you Thomas James Neville. I got the idea from a song, Ke$ha - Your Love Is My Drug.


i like my syrup right from the spout now do you know what the fuck im talking about im talking about that drug that hardcore fucking drug if you ant got it your ganna feel like you got a bug dont even wanna get out of bed to give your girl a hug ya thats that fucking drug now let me tell you about another one at first it seems hella fun till you need another one ya thats that fucking pill its got you feeling ill dont know how to deal with bullshit so you say i'll only do alitte bit before you take it you better shit now your chest is kinda tight 50 hydros gone befor the end of the night knowing your ganna need more now your girls a hor the one you ador thats what that shit will do come back around and fuck you lets talk about coke that shit ant no joke nothing funny could get you money could get you jail useing the money you made for bail the drug life ant ever ganna be fair so play your part if you dare go out an get your share were all living in sin so get locked up an do it again lets go out on a binge overdose wake up pop some more and get comatousted like you dint just overdose lifes a party and im the host i dont give a fuck cause im higher than the rest i came from the family nest and i was the best just here to make a mess fuck all of that turn my hat back so you can see my eyes you dont know about the cries cause of the lies but its for me to deside shit ill wait for it to subside then i'll start to share but you probly wont care cause you cant stand to bare the truth cause it might hurt short like a skirt i dont care what you think cause your gone when i blink wanna be me youll sink your soft like the pink but the dirty pink that might stink an i dont give a fuck ima still be high till the day i die
by kyle aaron cohen

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My mind is awake
it never sleeps
Keeps me awake at night
and in the day, weak

I can't control
where it goes
My morbid thought
only my mind knows

The messed up things
I like to do
I turn my heart off
when I go through

the things I drink
The things I take
the happiness
I try to create

My bleeding nose
My darkened eyes
Hide my apathy
Behind lies

The edge of cliff
way past the line
and no one can save me from me
this time.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this last year for a friend of the family. rip.

The Poet Never Known

The Lost Poems

Spoke amongst them
with valor,
his voice many heard...
Presence of authority,
Silence when he spoke-
A toke of peace, lite
many fires,
in Hollywood bungalows,
with little girls, dirty
women, WHORES!!
No fear to criticize;
So critic...
This is my philosophy,
living testimony of
another chance in
Knowledge they saw in
my eyes, confirm with
words that discontent.
Seed of envy are their
pupils, seen through,
heard never listened-
Invited never welcome.
Deny my art, my love
for the spoken
Not like the crowd,
They know, I know,
they are fools!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Deny my art, you are a fool!

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dilaudid 8

Drip drop I feel on my forehead as I lay in my hospital bed.
I open my eyes to see a spider web of veins centered over head.
Frozen in fear I cannot help but stare.
I look left; I look right, still full of fright.
I see two people slowly sit up and turn to look at me.
Is this truly what I see?
No mouth nor nose and eyes, a face covered with flesh.
My strength tested to the best.
I fear to close my eyes and rest.
It’s not the pain I cannot take; the doc slips me another dilaudid 8.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

after a open heart surg

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