Never Thought There'd be You

I got to the point in my life from waiting for you...

To thinking there'd never be a you...

Not long after what had felt like my world began to crumble...

A new home that actually feels like a home came and begin to build into my life.

Loss occured along the way but not because of us.

A stroke who took my grandmother from us, heart failure that took my grandfather from us, and covid-19 who took away my adoptive Father...

Inside I'm still screaming...

I miss my kids too I grieve too for what isn't gone...

My heart understood yours...

You stood by me through it all when everyone else left for less.

I adore that you find me worth it, when I don't.

I love you so much! Xoxo! 

Life without you wasn't really living I kept waiting to die.

Disappointed every time I'd open my eyes...

Until the day the I saw you...

Then they had a reason to want to open every day. 

You're perfect just as you are.

I adore you...

My perfect 10.

My everything...

I was dead until you...

Sometimes I wish I'd met you sooner but I remember who I was too...

I think I needed to be this version of myself first to be perfect for you and that's why it took this long...

I have never love anyone or anything more.

I don't know how I lived without you but I never want to again.

You are more then the light in my life, you're my reason why...

Why I get up again, and again, and again.

Never Thought There'd be a You...

You're the whole a was looking for...

No, never thought there'd be a you...


Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is about my spouse as of January...my own perfect 10 I never thought I'd meet who truly seems to love me as I do them...I've never felt precious until them...I never thought I'd wake determined to be someone else's perfect as much as I do with them in my life. They're my priority...I adore them...I love them...life without them wasn't life and life without them i don't ever want to know again...xoxo I hope they stay always...

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No Angel



Stitched wings

Attached to frail bones

Darkened eyes

Lifeless as stone

Halo teetering

By uneven horns

Once a smile

Before being born

No color shown

Pallet a pasty pale

Never any sunshine

In a world so stale

Lips crusted over

From the words unspoken

Corrupted mind

In a soul that’s broken

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What Happened To That Little Girl? -TITLE HELP NEEDED-


I was a happy little girl.


I wore poofy dresses,

and spun in them happily.


I ran around and played 

with both boys and girls.


I was a bit of a tomboy,

didn't mind getting dirty.



I ate apples instead of candy.


I climbed on anything

that I possibly could!

Alone with somethings that

no one though that I could!



I was such a happy little girl!


I smiled all the time,

I laughed at so many things,

I did just about anything!


I talked to strangers,

made friends in the blink of an eye!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Work in progress!


Help with title is needed and will be greatly appreciated! 

Now *Title??*

I'm not who I used to be.


I used to be such a trusting person.

I used to be such a happy girl.

I used to be such a big smiler.

I don't believe what I used to.

I used to believe that everyone was good.

I used to believe that everyone will be loved.

I used to believe that everyone is truthful.

That was before.

That was before I was repetively hurt.

That was before I was repetively passed over.

That was before I was repetively rejected.

Now I'm a different person.

Now I'm slowly breaking inside.

Now I'm a less trusting person.

Now I'm a pro at pretending like I'm ok.

Now I believe differently.

Now I believe that I'll only be the friend.

Now I believe that I am not good enough.

Now I believe that no one loves me.

This is after.

This is after they used me.

This is after they lead me on.

This is after they left me broke.

Now. I. Am. Different.

Now. I. Am. Changed.

Now. I. Am. Broken.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Please let me know what you think!!

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Knot of Normality - March 17, 2012

Chapter One

Hung by ropes of tension;

That're pulled so tight.

I'm suffocating, faking,


That I'll be all right.


I've got this knot,

Tied around my throat.

The knot of normality;

Secretly making me choke.


Pretended it wasn't there,

And that I didn't care,

I clearly didn't know,

The pain I couldn't show.


Each person pulling tighter,

On this rope so taut,

I cannot help the location,

In this knot I've been caught.


Ropes of everyone different,

Of people not listening,

Tie the knot of normality;

My blood so glistening.

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Some girls are talking,

I walk up to them,
Just to say hi.
They ignore me. Again.
Why do they hate me?
I remember.
I am not one of them.
The clones.
I want to be my own person.
At the beginning of the school year,
We read a poem.
And wEeDs.
I guess everyone else IS a FLOWER.
And I guess I am a wEeD.
A lowly wEeD, who no one wants to talk to.
Because I am different.
Why do people become clones?
Because when a person chooses to become a FLOWER,
They lose themselves in the process.
Their former personality is never to return,
Only to be replaced with a metallic voice,
A cold soul,
And dyed hair to match.
Sure, you girls find love early on.
In high school.
But the wEeDs will win.
At least in the end.
Because WE will be the ones who have friends,
When we get out of the colleges,
That YOU never got accepted to.
Because our soul is still there.
Just because you are alive,
Does not make you more special
Than me.
Or the other wEeDs.
We will be the special ones,
Later in life.
And you will be the one.
Who is hoping for more.
Just like we were.
When you taunted us.
For being different.
For being wEeDs.
You just want more of yourself.
Strength in numbers,
Am I right?
Only you can decide.
You want an army,
To intimidate us,
Go on.
Try to intimidate me.
Because I will forever stay,
A wEeD.
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Okay, so, I kinda forgot title of the power I wrote about, but the poem mentioned belongs to the author. Oh wow. A poem mentioned inside a poem. Yo dawg...


my churning madness, 

a maelstrom of emotions,

twisting in charcoal and ink,

evening turns to twilight,

and I'm still creating,

as the rest of the world sleeps,

I can recall the moment,

that I became so strange,

I saw a shattered pane of colored glass,

spread across a black asphalt street,

everyone just walked past,

I stood in silent wonder,

staring at the scene,

how could no one else notice,

how beautiful shattered glass could be...

Uncertainty in Normality

I walk through leaves
To stolen storms
Where green is not an option
I want to see the powder stream down
And paste the sidewalk frozen
The towers above me I do not fear
I have come here many a year
To places so familiar
I am home
Lights of brightness and of snow
I spread my wings and land on a cement rainbow
Grey for streets that never end
Yellow lines instructing you to keep to the path you choose
A palate of colors
That are always knowing
If I walked by you
Yes you that billboard there
Would you remember when I was here 3 years ago with my father?
Seeing my first staged production?
Or do you remember the summer after
When I went running forever through the streets
Looking for the cast of a television show
That no longer gives me laughter
I change with the seasons
I become different yet the same when it snows
When I enter the steel garden
I remember what has been
And I am never quite sure if I should be happy that it has been
Or sad that it can no longer happen the way it once did?

There is something about this man....

There is something about THIS Man....

he's real, ever so wise he's Spiritual had a masters before the creation of time.. All he needs to do is speak to capture my attention. Now I must say I've heard from the young and old, but his TRUTH is still being told. He's unique, a gentleman POWERFUL YET, MEEK. He could glance at the World even from a bird's eye view! Now when he glance, his eyes surrenders you.. You feel REAL UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, taking you to intimacy from the moment you meet, almost breathtaking where you can't even speak...
Feelings of warmth an compassion travel from your HEART down through your body to the veins in your feet, he even makes your bones weak, yet he is the ONLY ONE who can speak to them and bring LIFE EVERLASTING...He treats me like a Queen and knows what essence to bring. Not only is he gentle, and caring, yet a strong he treats me like The Virtuous Women  I will grow to become..Oh did I mention he always understands, who am I kidding it would take all Eternity to describe him.
Now I'm not speaking of a physical man, but the Word of GOD which I hope all the lost sheep scattered comes to understand.
I'm falling in Love with him over and over again...
There is something about THIS Man....



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