whats it like to feel normal

whats it like to feel normal 2015



whats it like to feel normal i sometimes ponder

to be like other people i think and wonder

i look out the window and see them walking

but i cant go out side and join them talking

somedays i think its a bad habit to live by

but im not strong enough and have to ask why

when i was younger i wasnt like this

but i feel like i'm falling in the abyss

and i still ask whats it like to feel normal

like going to dinner and dressing formal

i wish things were diferent but they never will be

others will never know and cant ever really see

that silent fight that i live with every day

for i will never tell and i wont ever say

to that person on the other side of this wall

i want to know whats it like to feel normal




Author's Notes/Comments: 

i wrote this poem a couple of days ago cuz i have agoraphobia and i wanted to go take a walk but i had no one to go with me so i couldnt go.

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small, medium or large?





 it isn't that 


anyone's mind 


is being read


that  just isn't possible


same as blue 


isn't red




but it's because


when you're close


to the universe's needs


what you ask will 


be answered


wrapped up gently


in love's seeds






patience must be learned


the guidance can be thin


you can't rush it you have to wait


for it to surface from within






9:46 AM 7/6/2013










Author's Notes/Comments: 

what some mediums say

Knot of Normality - March 17, 2012

Chapter One

Hung by ropes of tension;

That're pulled so tight.

I'm suffocating, faking,


That I'll be all right.


I've got this knot,

Tied around my throat.

The knot of normality;

Secretly making me choke.


Pretended it wasn't there,

And that I didn't care,

I clearly didn't know,

The pain I couldn't show.


Each person pulling tighter,

On this rope so taut,

I cannot help the location,

In this knot I've been caught.


Ropes of everyone different,

Of people not listening,

Tie the knot of normality;

My blood so glistening.

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