Bliss

The Melancholy of a Bodyguard

1

When she walks into a room, all is silent.

Poised with aplomb, no one is ever violent.

Classy is her adept style, she’s set to rule.

Be I her earth, always her eternal tool.

 

Her aspects of a princess, looks smooth like water.

Her words are true, known to have stopped a slaughter.

Clothed in pleasing robes of silk, she has it all.

Eternal bliss, an angel sent from heaven’s hall.

 

Her red lips arouse firm lust, my mouth turns dry.

Her wise bright eyes, shining like a fair blue sky.

Like a time lord’s solitude, her mind wanders.

Embracing fate, her clipped wings...she needless ponders.

 

Gentle are her chosen words, finer than mine.

Drunk when she laughs, her grin tastes like a cool wine.

She’s the saviour of many, none oppose her.

Contrast us both, I am but a lowly cur.

 

Be still my heart, if only for a second.

So I can ponder my fate, my soul I reckon.

Damned I shall be, for the feelings I hold dear.

LEAVE FLEE DEPART! For now you must disappear...

 

Feelings of love, sorrow, joy, they have no place.

The devil toys, with feelings that cannot erase.

If God were to rub me clean, I’d be left scarred.

To be her guard...

Is my love truly this barred?

 

Forever am I bound, by law, by curse?

Bulk my bias, would just make her vigour worse.

She is breath to all who gaze, I am her foil.

Nevertheless, I love and therefore must toil.

 

Thus, this princess I do love, my heart doth beat!

Stout misery, her scent is pang bittersweet.

When I look into those eyes, it pains me so.

She is my life, and that is all I know.

She is perfect, sadly, that is my woe...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem of the internal turmoil which arises from one living a life of servitude.

Sex With You

 

...............

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69nOZkmfWxk

^^click and open in new tab^^

 

.........

 

kisses soft against my legs, in circles

 

like the sweetness of your morning hug

 

leisurely pacing your way to my toes

 

as if tasting each one, carrying me to the place only we know,

 

i'm a million miles away, and yet feel you so close

 

next time i open my eyes, your hand like a mountain stream flows,

 

the touch feels like heaven as your body slides up,

 

and i kiss every inch that i can as you clutch

 

then loosen your hold to my hips now in time,

 

your tongue on my breasts, this is more than sublime,

 

enraptured i offer my hands to your pleasure

 

and to my surprise you decsend again, my breath answers

 

a sigh is released from its place deep within, 

 

the sound seems to stroke you, as if you've gone in

 

i feel chills down my spine and then up again

 

and i reach for your legs, and more kissing begins

 

your chin at my pelvis, and now there is thrust

 

making love to these parts we become like a chorus

 

inspirations are deep and our bodies begin to roam

 

heart and soul timing, like a precise metrodome

 

a plateau of pleasure, escalation does entice

 

we kneel face to face just to breathe the love from each other's eyes

 

then you reach for my face with both hands and we kiss

 

with angels' wings donned we revel deep into bliss

 

the breathing is faster, we grapple and vie

 

as i guide you by the hand, and upon me you lie

 

like raindrops from heaven, joined in blissful suspension

 

and we lay with the stars, the aftermath of ascension

 

flesh on our flesh you lean close as i drift

 

and i feel lips on my eyelids

 

as i think ...'it gets no better than this'.

 

 

12:45 PM 7/16/2013 ©

 

.................

a love experience, once upon a summer...

What is it about this guy
I wish I could describe
His complexity prevents
Even my mind to try

He's an experience
A calm presence
And a perfect contagious laugh
A smile that makes the world simple and
ignites pure happiness at last

Everyone in his company basks in his glow
when I see him
I'm engulfed
But I don't think he knows

Feels as though the sunshine
Replaces my heart
rays of subliminal
Endorphins bursting through my every part

He has a look
I've never experienced before
The counterpart to my soul
An instant shield from the world outside
A safe haven
That makes me whole.

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Perfect Sense

I think hate comes from ignorance,
They say ignorance is bliss,
But I think ignorance comes from a lack of joy,
And anger turned inwards onto the self.
Joy comes from connection to the Divine spark
In all living things, so it would make perfect
Sense that there is so much depression,
Anger and ignorance in the world,
Because it is clear we have somehow
Lost respect for all living things as a species.

Sorrow can come from a lot of different
Conscious and subconscious places, I think,
But if we are neglecting our source of joy,
Then it would make perfect sense that
We would feel a deep sorrow as we watch
The world as it falls apart, and know,
Deep within us, why it is happening,
Even if we wear a mask to hide it.
When i say 'joy' I do not mean simply
A smile or a fleeting thrill from a gift given,
When I say 'joy' I mean a lasting flame of inner peace
And contentment that carries us past any
And all upsets and conflicts we run into.

I do not know of any children who are taught
These things. Are they important to anyone anymore
In our busy lives where there is so much
That is more important than ridding the earth of hate?
I am only one person, but I just do not agree that
Ignorance is bliss. Years ago I may have said yes,
Because years ago I did not know what bliss was,
But now being familiar with bliss, having experienced
Deep depression, having learned the ways I have fallen
Into ignorance and anger turned outward ,
I am more sure than ever about these things
As far as myself goes, anyway.

Saying 'ignorance is bliss' may just be someone's way
Of saying 'I'm too depressed and angry to care',

And, 'I don't want to admit it because it's just easier

To be in denial about the whole big mess'.

Sound right to you?

 

Have a great day.

 

8:41 AM 5/10/2013

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Missing Passenger

Vows taken on a crisp Saturday afternoon in September,
You wore a velveteen black suit, and me and my cream colored lace,
We swirled through the park like doves in flight,
Everything was oh...so right!

 

That first year, you held me in the rocking chair your mother gave us,
No arms had ever given me such peace and comfort,
Your gentle kisses to my neck and ears,
Three long blissful and beautiful years before our first born.

 

Then the security of all we could have asked for,
The nights of laughter and after dinner rides to the custard stand,
You in your jovial disposition and me with my coy school-like charm,
And then home, to snuggle together on the couch.

 

The tenth year was busier after our daughter was born,
I could not have chosen a better father for our children,
But the rocking chair needed some repair,
I missed our snuggles we used to share in the days of old.

 

You always made a point of reminding me about how you loved those days,
I'd kid you about your extra pounds ruining the dowels under the seat,
But in our own way, the memory savored, lasted into our 25th anniversary,
Still, every few months I would beg you to fix it.

 

Now that the children are grown and come to visit,
I sometimes tell them how you used to hold me in that rocker,
They smile with the same tenderness back at me,
And I see your twenty year old charm in their eyes again.

 

One day, a few months after the funeral,
I took a seat alone in the chair when I came home,
Rickety now, the wood is dried and brittle,
I hardly can imagine those days were real.

 

The days are getting longer, it seems, and many times I wonder
Where you are, maybe sitting on a crescent moon, gazing at the stars,
I have gained so many beautiful memories from the life we shared,
And I still wish you'd fix this rocking chair.

 

 

 

10:19 PM 4/28/2013 ©

Author's Notes/Comments: 

About solid marriages.

 

I have to be more careful copying and pasting...at first I only got half of the poem!

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Benevolent Nebula

Lost and confused, yet daring and bold,
Silly and innocent at 14 years old,
Devoid of a mother, dreaming of a lover,
With closed mind and open heart, not a clue of where to start,
Aimless, wandering towards an abyss,
Missed four months of menses, from a prison-bound kiss.
Paralyzed, fearsome of taking account,
The cost I would pay, was a lifetime amount,
Destined, without a goodbye from a soul,
The rug pulled out from under, lost...no control,
A baby is born to a child alone,
In a frightening place, a cold hospital zone,
No one is present to hold her cold hands,
Sneers and contempt, nurses scoff and demand.
Life is preserved, but a spark inside dies,
Questions unanswered, at best she's told lies,
Darkness ensues and becomes her befriended,
Adoption is evident, this journey is ended,
But then it's unfinished, more searching to do,
A marriage, a carriage, some wine, a corkscrew,
A nose of cocaine and a fist full of weed,
To fill up and cover the pain...with godspeed

Years of self loss and a belly of rum,
It's been 10 years gone by, my Lord...this is not fun.
Cleaning it up feels as good as can be,
At 35 years old...wondering where the hell's me?
When you're sure what is missing can never be found,
Never think that your past won't come sneaking around.
So the child now 20, finally we greeted,
Surreal as it was, neither one of us were cheated,
Babies are born in the world to be free,
They belong to no one...not you, not me,
I will never forget you, nor how we did feel,
You said you felt 'whole', I say, 'finally real'.
Scattered and fragile, like menageries of glass,
Treasure life's memories, however deep the crevasse,
We can all become vicitms of loss in this world,
How we choose to accept it, savored, or hurled,
Weaves the fiber of all future bloodlines to come,
You can let go the line, or bridge the chasm.
People will be who they are, leave them be,
Some only awaken when it's too late to see,
Love is intriguing, some think it's a fad,
Some want just good things, they deny the bad,
I never regretted a moment of mine,
Good, bad, indifferent, it's been sweet and sublime,
Grateful for everythng, how could I miss?
My dark side was what guided me into my bliss.

 

 

Copyright 2013 ©

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Part of my road towards living my truth. This is more about adoption in the 70s than it is about me.

My Beau

i spent the night with you
giving myself away
your bliss and mine
all intwined
your body hard and soft sublime

a rest. again. the bliss. a kiss.
your easy lips against my eyes
i watch you go where i had gone
and then you fall into my arms

a rest. a rest. again? again.
again the bliss the kisses hard
together go beyond the moon
and for a moment stroke the stars

a rest. a rest. breath soft and slow
bodies close from head to toe
one last kiss to bless the bliss
and with my beau asleep i go

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A Soft Touch


Soft as spring petals, on flowers gifted to you,
a lover's caress beneath satin covered down
Embraced in arm's comforts, kin to pillow's fold,
touches stir, with whisk upon your silken gown

Contours defined, in sheerness of garment's drape,
traces your beauty in the room's tapered light
Succumbed to allure, from tempt of arousing view,
placement of every passion's kiss, prevails the night

Taste of rapture's wine, seeps onto my lips;
a pleasure defined by all devotions shared
An ambiance of bliss, created by our hearts,
with sweepings from my touch, never spared

Soft as spring petals, on flowers gifted to you,
comforts are found nestled to your breast
All promptings calmed, by delightful bliss,
held in loving arms, comes night's peaceful rest

© C.E. Vance

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Life

My life has been proved glorious,
For others not me,
I've given my all to see my loved ones happy,
While I remain lost seeking resolution.
Being alone while others bask in happiness,
Its what I've been through keeps me away,
Away from the good that should make me sane,
Because the good always harvests evil that turns me astray,
In my emotions and mind I travel an abyss,
Waiting for the day of fulfillment which manifest peace.
How long shall I wait?
Will my end come fast?
Or will I be able to say I've changed being sad.
Who's to know,
Only god or satan.
I will continue to pray that my life won't end in misery,
That I've broken the chains that bind me to this cycle,
Making my past obsolete,
Achieving true love and tranquility.

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