Love of my Life

When I saw you, I knew

From the moment I first laid eyes on you

Never a word spoken between us yet I knew that we'd be

Four years later -  How many schools? Three?


We became friends stayed in touch through my life  

Who would have known You'd become my wife

I was so happy even looking back at our worst

You were the love of my life My life - True and first


Things weren't great and all relationships have flaws

You got deep inside of me and dug in your claws

Now I can't over you even though I'm ripped to shreds

I miss laying close to you and sharing a bed


You gave me a son who is the most beautiful life I've seen

Then you take him away Only in an effort to be mean

I'm in love with my child and you took him away

Its almost a year and I've seen him a handful of days


You've kept him away from me and have toyed with me about getting back together

You've inspired me to walk miles to meet you to see my boy in the worst rainy weather

Only to stand me up not answering calls and ignoring me

I don't know what I did to make you want to hurt me'


You were the love of my life, You know I always told you so

I wanted to have more children and allow our family to grow

Little did I know that yoiu had other plans

You were having an affair and fell for another man



I knew that you were changing and growing distant from me

You liied over and over when i asked what it could be

I didn't recognize the end though you were rubbing it in my face

Now it feels like the last 15 years were a waste 

You were the love of my life

Who then became my wife

We had a beautiful son

Then you gutted me with a knife

Yet I miss you all the time...... You are the love of my life


Author's Notes/Comments: 

I was with my wife for 8 years. I have a beautiful 4 year old son. She has played all kinds of games with my head and heart.. All I have ever done is love her. You'd think I beat her or something

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The Fool

What do I do when 

Everything is not enough?


What do I do when 

I give all, and it is rejected?


What do I do when the love

That was meant for us two to share

Is cheapened by another?


Love is not cast away,

And suffering is sure to stay

And so alone I cry and moan 

And tell the world 'leave me alone!'

And accept what I never can condone.


And I wait for when 

She wants love, not lust,

And comes back to me.


I wait for when everything is enough.

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She Told Me

She told me that she didn't know

anymore what I thought we knew. 

She told me she was thinking still

of where to go and what to do.


She told me that she loved me still

yet she thought it best she go.

She told me that she always would

but in her eyes it didn't show. 


She left, and there I stood alone

as she swore I'd never be.

She left, and there I stood alone,

lost at home with her memory. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is based on a conversation had on Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend of this year. It is raw and painful and I don't know what to do.

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When I say the magic word, 

all of this can end. 


After the news I heard today, 

I know exactly where we stand. 


You won't even see it coming, 

It'll be a quick blow to the head. 


Was all this pain really worth it,

when you tried to lay in her bed? 


Even though I hate the bitch,

I'm glad she stood her ground. 


I wish I could have seen your face

when she "sadly" turned you down. 


Now everyone is talking 

you're the joke of the town


Where are you going to turn

now that no one is around?


None of this is my fault,

but I should have seen the signs.


Should have looked a little closer,

should have read between the lines. 


I thought we were in love

when I looked into your eyes.


But now I know it's true,

that even love is blind. 


My Own Eyes are Not Mine

Falling through the repeated days
In a set trance in the dark eternal craze

To a tired struggle I kill another dove
and forget what I made a promise to be free of

Because it's simply easy, and rather too fun
But when I gained another side, I lost sight of the sun

I feel not to go around and walk a set path that fits my shoes
Looking at myself, these are not my own hands, nor my own views

I'm trying to find a person who I can call me
To be familiar with and call my own what I can see


But in the end it all tears apart sooner or later
The person I thought I knew inside is my only traitor


I change another face to fit another set day
To think it matters, but it somehow never did anyway


Everything can change from a single teardrop from the eye
But then again, who am I?

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Curiosity Killed the Cat

It was a tragedy in making,
Gasping joyfully among sighs.
It was love we were faking,
Gripping between each other’s thighs.

It was just a trial,
Giving me your all.
It was agony and denial,
Gazing at your fall.

It was torture and pain,
Getting all of your fury.
It was all in vain,
Granting me your jury.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'm not sure what I should say about this, I'm not sure what I want to say either.
I feel like I should bs some metaphor about how I helped a someone with a scientific exploration only to be blamed for everything that they discovered.

I dislike that that I thought I'd never fall into this trap, but more of me just pities them, they must be so consumed to become so hateful.

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Towards the Glory I march
Feeling that I never say harsh
To the condition I set to
Best and paramount I do;
Time alarms and alert I was
Ready for the inward mass
Apprehension full the head
Yawning sound reconcile to dead
Wakeful memories move toward
Passiveness thought twist to hard
Bewilder of the thundering heart
Mother devotion so I had dirt.

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Tried to warn you but you wouldnt listen
chastise your smile & wicked disposition.
you can ask the questions but you know the reason why
cover your tracks in the ashen lie
bite your tongue or he'll give you more
followed the path to the devils door.
sing the songs that angels cry
leave you alone, cold as you die.
withering rot as you curse my name
it doesnt matter its all the same.

bat your lashes, toss your hair
throw your hands up in the air.
Round and round the cycle goes
freezing ice and freezing froze
In the ground they'll lay you down
blithering bluber as you drown.
And so the story comes to a end
make peace with the demons as you transcend.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poems is based on a very personal event that occured in my life, and how I felt afterwards.

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What is love?

What’s that thing called love mean?

Is it when you live a dream?


When your understanding is clear and teem?

Or is it when your tears form a stream,


They drop and gleam,

Because you care so much,


As to wish for a single warm clutch.

But for to ask something as such,


They couldn’t do,

Or they wouldn’t do it for you.

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