Missing You

my one and only

I feel like without you my world will be grey,
I'll work on myself and do my own thing but it'll never be the same.
Without you here a piece of me will be gone
I hope that when you leave it won't be for to long. 
I know that this is a great opportunity
But I can't help fear what will become of you and me.
It's difficult for me to say all that I truly feel
I just want you to know that my love for you is real.
I'll do my best and try to be strong
Remember the words of our old love song
L is for the looks ill always miss
O is for that one sweet kiss
V is for the very moment you come back
And E is for everything this poem lacks...
It's like these feelings are to much for me to explain
But I know you and I, we feel the very same.
So This is to us and what may come
Just know that your my only one 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Wrote this in 2012 for my bf who was in the military

Crowded Plot

I don't feel at ease here,

Or at peace.

There are no fond memories -

Just an empty spot,

In a crowded plot -

No room for your soul to breathe.

Oh, what a distant memory -

A little girl at the foot of her papa,

The pitter patter of tiny feet -

Ready to jump,

Into the arms - 

Awaiting.

Time has since faded -

That little girl is no longer.

A woman when you passed,

Yet a child still at heart.

Memories left -

Scattered -

And I'm left to wonder,

If you feel forgotten,

In this overgrown plot -

With pieces of you missing -

Divided,

As is your sanctity.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written on 8/27/2014, in remembrance of my father. I sat at his head stone, where not ask of his ashes lay. And I felt as if he were suffocated. 

One Missed Call

I think, today, I'm going to smash my phone with a hammer.
because everytime it goes off, I get a false sense of hope that it'll be you at the other end.

But you're not there,

you never are,

so instead of sitting here wishing upon stars,

I'll distroy the thing that causes me so much pain.

On second hand, maybe I'll wait until tomorrow...
you know...
incase you decide to call.  

Joey's Poem

 

 

 

You came so quickly into my life

 

Sweeping me right off my feet it seems

 

It wasn't the words that you first said

 

It was the way they flowed out of your head

 

Out of those sweet lips

 

So gently out of your mouth

 

An even flow

 

Pure Honesty

 

Straight from your heart

 

 

 

Now I'm needing your arms every night

 

To hold me very tight

 

And your chest to rest my head

 

With your soul, my love ..I want to be fed

 

 

 

Waiting here patiently... I shall try my best

 

Until the day comes

 

For us to feel really blessed

 

 

 

To look into your eyes of blue

 

To touch your face so gentle and true

 

To kiss those sweet lips

 

To feel you with my fingertips

 

And to see your great big ole' smile

 

 

 

To hear you say you are staying

 

And you are staying for A long while

 

 

 

Yes my dear, I shall be here

 

Waiting for you, waiting for your call

 

Wanting to draw you near

 

 

 

To hold you tight

 

To call you “Love of My Life”

 

Whispering together late in the dark of night

 

Two voices and bodies embracing in the moonlight

 

And loving you with all my might

 

 

 

2-2-2010

~MH

12/29/13

 

 

 

 

 

Insatiable

Drops of rain on a dark and cold night
Will never ever fill this void inside
Not the sheets or the warm cozy bed
Can vanquish you in my heart and in my head
The wind blows and I close my eyes
And almost hear faint, distant sighs
Of memories made without regrets
Woefully, I clenched the blanket into a caress…

 

 

If only thunder can bring me to you
Then you’ll be anticipating every roar
I’ll be waiting eagerly at the door
For this intensified longing
Is stronger than the lighting
Flashing, revolting – unstoppable
I am insatiable –
Until you’re right here by my side.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

08July13 – One stormy night. Missing you.

©angeljerlin

Over a year has passed.

Over a year has pasted since you left this place.

when you closed your eyes and said goodbye
Leaving us with only tears to cry, and memories to relive.
 
I regret all the things I never did, all the promises I said
All the time I wasted, doing things  that were pointless.
 
Now I have nothing but my memories, of the days I spent
Along side you in the shadows of my past, walking hand in hand,
On the beach at 5 in the morning in our pajamas looking at the clouds
Change shapes, and the sky turn colors as we watched the sun rise.
 
Remembering all the bubble gum ice cream we ate, and salomi,
And drank Pepsi, cause its all you had in your house.  How you
Had a bed, but instead you slept on the couch With the tv going.
How you played Easter bunny every year till I was 13 years old.
When we knew it was you all along, you filled lil plastic eggs with candy,
And change and hid them in your yard. How you fought through your cancer,
And lived, you survived. We stood by your side through it all.  
 
Now that your gone, all I have is my memories, all I have is the
Time I spent with you in my childhood and teen years. I was lucky
To have my great grandmother for as long as I did. Now that your gone,
All I have is my memories, to keep me moving along. 
 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

R.I.P Helen Smith 

this is about my grandmother who passed away over a year ago now.

with her being gone now, all I have is my memory's to keep her alive.

she was a great fighter, and woman. I loved her a lot. It was a hard tthis last year march 14th 2012,

when I losT her. I got a call at 3 in the morning saying she had passed away. And thank god I had my good friend and special person who stayed on the phone with me the whole time while I cried so I wouldn't be alone.

thank you so much Matt! You stood by my side that whole year,  and that hard month while she was sick, when she died, and when more bad things followed those events. Your the best. I miss you grandma Helen.

 

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Love Bug

You give me butterflies

Those colourful, hyperactive kind

That never stop.

They flutter away,

Bringing my spirits high

From my guts, in my tummy

To my throat, back to my heart

Over and over again.

 

You make me jitter,

I swear, I burn like I'm having

High fever.

I know I'm hot,  ;)

But this one goes beyond

My temperature limit, I can't help it

Your love is infectious

And I don't need a cure.

 

You make me want to scream,

And paint love in this gray town

With cheesiness.

My skin will explode

With thoughts of you, love for you

I can't contain this happiness

This craziness- I'm under your spell,

One glance - you've tamed this rebel.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

10Feb10 - @ Beer La’gu…’happy heart’s disease’. ;)

©angeljerlin

 

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One of Those Nights

What's the point?

Of the lights,

Of the sounds,

Of this very night?

When you are out of my sight.

 

What's the point?

Of sitting here,

Of waiting,

Of trying to pretend I'm happy?

When you're not here beside me.

 

What's the use?

Of this freedom,

Of this holiday

Of this escapade?

When everything, except my reality-

You invade.

 

All I am saying is that

All these are good -

But meaningless

Without you.

 

So what's the point?

What's the use?

Save me.

Get here already.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

09Feb13 – Written @ Indra Hotel, Thailand. Missing you.

©angeljerlin

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Infinite

I miss your touch
Your warm embrace
Your easy laugh
That look on your face
When half of a smile
And your beautiful eyes
With their eternal gaze
Did their best to disguise.
But I swear for an instant-
A second or two-
As you broke my defenses,
I saw into you.
And within that instant
Are centuries- years,
And I feel we are infinite,
Free from all fears.
I see all that you are
And all you could be.
I have lived your whole life;
You've become part of me.
I see awesome adventures:
We'll sail the seas wide.
We'll go out by the sunrise,
Come in with the tide.
We'll climb mountains so tall
That they live among stars
And we'll stand on the top
To embrace where we are.
We might stay for the night,
Or maybe a year,
Then we'll make our way down
To the atmosphere.
We'll parade through the people
And make our way home,
Which is anywhere, so long as
We're not left alone.
And tired from journeys
We'll lie down 'neath the stars
And I'll fall asleep knowing
I'm safe in your arms.
How, in one second,
I've lived our lives through,
I know not, but I do know
That everything's true.
As I look in your eyes
I might smile and ask
What you're thinking, but always
You put on your mask.
But I hope when you do this,
When you play this game,
There's a chance that we both
Are thinking the same.
So I take in a deep breath
And let out a long sigh,
Hope that this never ends
Till the day that I die.
"and in that moment, I swear we were infinite."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I hear the quote on the commercial from "the perks of being a wallflower" and liked it, then later found it relevant to my current situation.