Thank God I Am Of The Few

Light and Dark

As I sit, and I pray
I watch the sun bring a new day
I grieve for those so far lost
In their ways; high is the cost
Would it not be better, can they not see
The love Almighty God has given to me?
But the way is narrow to his place
And as I look into His face
I see the sorrow, His crying there
For His children who no longer care
I left you Lord! I spat in your face
I followed evil, my disgrace
It was not placed on me, my decision
Had set me up for Hell's derision
Then you took my place, your first born
The sun rose on my new morn
Now here am I, white and new
Living here, with your few
But I still grieve for those lost
For their decisions have such a cost
Eternal death away from you
Thank God that I am of your few.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Originally a reply to Envy from her poem Please; I kind of liked it myself. Enjoy

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Always fighting
My two natures
War within me causes shivers
I can’t hold it
What am I?
A man or beast
A demon or angel
Do angels burn?
Do their wings catch fire?
Mine do
My mind is in torment
It reels from it’s agony
My heart is broken
It’s lying in pieces on the floor
I look up
Who is my tormentor?
A mirror image of my own face
The past self
The present regret
What darkness is in your eyes!
I get off the ground
My bone-wings still on fire
A red halo above my head
And a blue-flame inside my chest
But who are you?
I know your face
My love
Why do you want me?
Look at me, I am fallen
And have further to fall.
Yet she picks me up
My wings cannot grab the air
I can no longer fly with her
I am doomed
And my bane approaches
But she resists my fate
And pulls me to my feet
One kiss
And everything’s alright
My body enveloped in blue flame
Now, I am loved
I have purpose
I have a mandate from the one who sent her
I have the power to love my enemies
To put others before myself
I have the power to do wonders in His Name
And I love her who saved me
Who am I?

Bat Shit Crazy

you filled me up a couple of times.
i feed upon your need of me.
you know the tip of my iceberg,
but what lies below my pink flesh is deep.
i don't know yet if it'll sink us or if you can swim through this!

i see rough waters ahead.
you aren't the only one with crazy in the genes.
my own blood fights sensible choices.
you tell me you're the normal one compared to who you're related to.
in my family i'm the normal one too, but i'm still bat shit crazy!

i fear exposing all of who i am to you.
scenarios play out to a captive audience in my head.
my dreams are filled with doom and gloom.
the economy looks robust compared to my hopes for us.
i count the days we've been together.
i'm amazed i've held it together this long.
you're the calm in the eye of my inner storm.
i hope you're strong!

i want to be swept away by you.
pick me up and carry me away.
be my calgon!
be my hero!
i put too much baggage upon your shoulders.
i fret about you throwing out your back.
right now it's alright, but i know how quickly the tides change.

i don't get you all the time.
i'm a small piece in the puzzle of your life.
my greed pushes me to plead for more of you.
right now you're flattered and amused.
i believe the power i give to you binds you too.
we've bonded to each other's weaknesses.
i'm hoping by the time you see my flip side you're in to deep to flee.

the swing moves even when i'm not in the seat.
my emotions constantly push it.
sometimes it's gentle, back and forth,
almost hypnotic, it sways.
but sudden and violent changes take place.
up in the air i go, higher then i can fly.
back over dead territory and digging up graves,
then i jump for my life
and down to the ground i crash and cave!

be proud you say!
be you you say!
i believe i still love you.
sometimes i will say or do harm to you.
forgive me when you throw me away.
i know what i'm doing but i do it anyways.
bat shit crazy makes me this way!

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It’s strange that I don’t know who you are, I feel as if I did once, but now
you’re just
face in
a grey
Did I know
you? Who
are you?
I think I
know you
from some


Oh, yes. A smile, a face, a kiss. There you are. Sorry, I don’t know you
anymore. See, you left me. I'm no longer am yours. I don’t know you,
because you left.                                                          Now you’re just
somebody that I                                                              used to know.
I loved you once, but you threw my love away. I guess I wasn’t good
enough for you; did you ever love me? I don’t know, I just don’t know.



                                                                            And yet, I still remember
                                                               you as you once were.
                                     You were so beautiful, charming,
                 sweet, lovely. My eye’s never left yours.
There was no-one else in my world but you.
                Everything I did was for you, and I know I had
                                      my flaws. You were my sun by day,
                                                                 my stars by night. You
                                                                          were everything to me.


Now, I still hurt. I still remember the pain. I still feel the blow, the heartache,
the suffering.                               But do you                                know what?
I still love                                    you I forgive                          you. I want you
back in my                                  arms. I need                          you. I’ll take you
back; always.                              And I know                                you’re sorry,
but let the                                  past die. All                             I know is that

you love me                                now, and I                                love you too.

Welcome back,                          I remember                                   you now;


I love you.

I always

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Originally, it spells love with the words, but I guess I can't do that on here. I though I was being clever. :P

Forgive me


For the first time in a long time
i cried and cried and cried
now i know what it does to you
when i say "nothing." when you ask what's wrong
i never meant to cause your pain
I swear, I didn't!
bitter tears toward myself run down my face
punish me for keeping quiet
i never meant to hurt you
I swear, I didn't!
I'm so sorry
sorry isn't goos enough for me
it never will be
sorrys don't erase pain, not even eases iit
sorrys don't make things all better
sorry isn't forgiveness
that's what i want, fogiveness, toward myself
actions speak louder than words
i'm NOT running awat from you anymore
ask me
i'll answer
i'm done pushing you away
i'm dont causeing you pain from things i didn't do
words left unsaid
i know this doesn't mean anything, but....
I'm so sorry...

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Wake Me Up


Quiet responsibilities and yearnings
deep in thought with questions burning
with the heat of desire, a mind to inquire
and find what is true
and after that, to do.

and find life, fire, fuel
for a spent soul, spending life
on countless novelties,
the frailties of a broken
state of being.

so content with the incomplete,
and start to seek that which is truth -
don't be so satisfied with the answer that satisfies
be satisfied with the answer of truth.

the path to life is not the path of lies
so, please, don't tell yourself so easily
that there is nothing wrong.

My soul sings... Jesus, I love you still
in spite of my wanderings
and you walk me closer home each day.

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Through My Tears

All of these days that have passed me by
wandering, thinking, and asking why?
Why do I have to face these things?
What, in the end will it bring?

I sit and pray, and I ask you how is it
that I can be forgiven for all of my sin?
They say you died. They say you live.
Oh God, they're pulling me back again!

But there you are waiting for me, watching what I will become.
and finally I see...I see that you're the one!

Through my tears I see clearly now!
I can get up. I found the strength somehow!
This is my blessing! This is my curse!
To know that without you it would be so much worse...

I sink deeper and deeper into that hole.
A deep dark place where only evil roams.
Even in there I hear your battle cry!
You come and rescue me before I die!

Through my tears I see clearly now!
I can get up. I found the strength somehow!
This is my blessing! This is my curse!
To know that without you it would be so much worse...

I feel you calling, begging for me.
I hear you knocking pleading you see.
Demons lurking, watching the door
as I sit myself up on the floor.
They attack! I call out your name.
Then there you are saving me again,
and all i can do is cry...
all I can do is cry...

Through my tears I see clearly now!
You lift me up. You are my strength now!
You have blessed me! This is not a curse!
I know that without you it would be so much worse...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this is about the battles we, as Christians face on a daily basis...

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Come, Sinner

Come sinner,
repent your sins.
Do not keep them in your soul.
I hear the sorrow in your voice
and I will heed your call.
Though I am not god,
I come with open arms.
Just know, sinner;
I will not do this twice.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I don't actually know how to properly write poetry, so if someone could give me tips on structure it would be much appreciated!

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Your Repentance

Your repentance is in vain, for I cannot forgive you.
Though in life you suffered greatly, at your hands I suffered more.
With each memory that passes, my heart slowly turns to stone.
You are frozen here forever.
I'm leaving you alone.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I had an extremely tumultuous relationship with my father for a number of years, and this past May he committed suicide...I have since released a great deal of my anger, but the words that I wrote still ring true.

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