The dream

Always the same dream 

A sun covered in blood 

Over a field of grey

Lifeless thousands 

Innocents where Death took them

Now waiting for judgement

Waiting to judge

Blackness with a red star

Shining down on the aftermath 

Death has a large appetite 

Its jaws bite down on all

Gnawing on their inanimate bodies

The dying are crying out against it

But their life is but a candle in a breeze

Soon to extinguish

They were but innocents 

Caught in the crossfire

But not I

Too long have I fought this war

Come Hades, come quickly old friend

My time is near 

And I am tired

Take me

Treading Water

What's the purpose in this life of mine
To keep swimming in an ocean without end
The tide pulling me far from shore
They say I'm fine
That I'll survive
But I'm only human
My strength is leaving fast
How long can I stay afloat?
I sink into nothing
A world where I can't breathe
Fire within but water without
In poisoned air
Finally a dream come true
A never ending dream
Isn't life beautiful?
It is now...

Conscious Mind

Guilty Conscious eating at you? Don't let it. Guilt is a good thing, it was designed so as to make us ever aware of our shortcomings and/or faults. Once you have acknowledged your sin and asked for forgiveness, you are forgiven... so let it go. Some people allow Satan to use that sin against them by turning guilt into condemnation. Do not give Satan the pleasure of torturing you, once again... once you acknowledge that sin that gave you a guilty conscience and ask for forgiveness, you are forgiven... Read this poem!

Conscious Mind

Fear not a conscience that brings forth guilt
For upon that conscience is salvation built
Guilt is merely acknowledgment of a life of sin
Guilt brings out the monster hiding within

Put not this guilt, or its pain aside
Confront and acknowledge those sins that do hide
For guilt brings repentance and a life anew
Confessing those sins will open a door for you

To ignore this guilt would be a mistake
So confront that guilt for heaven's sake
If your pride makes you put it away
It will be back to haunt you another day

All men sin and fall short of the glory of God
But woe unto him that gives guilt not even a nod
Go up to an alter and pour out your heart
Give God that guilt and in heaven take part

By: Wayne Hoss

Author's Notes/Comments: 

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Philosophy of a Life-song

If your life was a song,

what would it sing?

Would it's lyrics edify?

Will it speak of the many people who's 

lives were touched by your existence?

Is it going to show that you stood for something?

Compose a motif that others will want to replicate.


Tonight I'm forgiving you. Not so you can sleep any easier, I doubt it makes any difference to you. You and your reckless tyrades, your dominationg selfishness, and especially your olympic capacity for denial. I don't why you treated me the way you did but I know that you love me. You did the best you possibly could at loving me. For that I am thankful, for that I am better off than I would've been otherwise. You shaped me into who I am and the good I do for people is an extension of the good you did for me. A young heart is fragile and mine was torn from an early age. But that truama has given me an incredible empathy for everyone on this planet and god dammit that is special. I am not who I "wanted" to be and I have not had the life that I "wanted" to have but I am who I am because of you, and I am happy for that. Thank you, may I carry a piece of you in everything I do.

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My Flame


My Brokenness hurts in new ways in each season of my life
Some more painful to go through than others
Sometimes you're not the only one affected either
His Truth remains the same,
His fire burns; His Flame.
In the rest of His arms my soul seeks,
Yet my sin and body meek, 
To the one who destroys,
and employs destruction,
The magnet to my heart so sweet,
Yet my falls induction. 
A spiral I see but to the Lord He smiles for He knows the blows only brings me closer; His trials
In the hope I see, an end to the trend of my slippery slope,
Yet that end isn't near but I can hear, what is that?
Ah yes, His truth remains the same, His fire burns; his flame. 
The Lord accepts me in my failures, the precepts He gives He tailors, 
For me. 
I see it, but still fail, 
I hit the trail and run. I try and catch up to You but still I stumble, I mumble, I groan, my feet fail me
It's time to give up. I give up. I give up
I trust in You, but still I try to live up, drink from Your cup I try. I try, I try, 
Yet I still die, and why?
Ah yes, don't forget! His truth remains the same. His fire burns; His flame! 
But Lord it hurts, it's painful, I don't like it but I need it. 
I love it, but I hate it. 
It's growing on me now, I see it.
Oh lord how beautiful You are, 
And how I thought you were so far, but no! 
You're right here, You've always been here! 
What's this? You're handing me a mirror so that I can see myself? 
But Lord, let me just gaze upon You,
Let me see you just for another se- wha', where's my filth? 
I'm white as snow.. Wait God, where did you go? I need You! 
[God] " Son, don't be afraid for I am here with you.
 Remember, my Truth remains the same, 
my Holy Fire burns, it is My Flame! 
It destroys you, yet frees you.
Though your feet may fail you,
My love never fails
I took the sin of the world and put it upon my Son as a sacrifice,
The only thing that would suffice
He paid the highest price.
He died and rose again,
Now you are made clean in my sight, 
My love for you, made complete." 
God, I praise you,
I give you my everything 
May my life represent the goodness of your love in my life.
May my lips sing of your praises forever and ever. AMEN! 
Entering this rest....Was this life a test?
A blessing, that will have me forever confessing the goodness of my Lord,
My Savior, my King, my Father, my Sword.
I am His son, for whom He loves and will never be forgotten.
He is here with me.
His Fire burns bright, and His Flame sustains me, from within me. 
Thank you, Lord. 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this in the midst of my complete brokenness dealing with a struggle of mine. It shown my struggle of going back and forth and then the way it's written shows the anxiety and distraction i have during it. also, at the end is the hope in which I can gaze upon God freed of my pain and basking in His beauty, changed all throughout because of it. 

thoughts on forgiveness


user img


Kabir: Forgiveness is a game only saints play.

Jesus: Father forgive them for they know not what they do.

Bible: Judge not lest ye be judged

Sai Baba: The actor who slaps you on stage waits behind
the curtain to congratulate you on your performance.


Francis Bacon: A man who studies revenge keeps his wounds green.

"Say: O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of
the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most
Merciful." [Sûrah al-Zumar: 53]

Jesus: Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you.

Course In Miracles: The holiest ground in creation is that where 2 former
opponents have forgiven each other. P

J Myzkowski: My former enemy was a mirror who revealed
the dirt upon my face. P

Kabir: The saint helped the scorpion over and over again
and the scorpion each time returned a sting. Some said
"do you not know it is the nature of the scorpion to sting?"
and the saint replied "it is my nature to save."

J Freundschuh: When I'm having trouble forgiving someone
I mentally regress him to baby state.

Sri Yukteswar: The vanished lives of all are filled with
many shames. Therefore do not judge.

April Baer: Forgiveness is a form of cleaning out closets P

Nancy Taylor: Unforgiveness wastes energy as extra weight
is carried around. Unforgiveness requires the energy
waste of repressing.

Maria Susie: (re the Bible that God tosses our sins into the deep sea)
God has posted a no fishing sign in His deep waters.

Patty: Do not look into the rearview mirror. (all who look
back are turned into pillars of bitter salt)

Sai Baba: You may blame me for the bad which passes through
you if you praise me for the good. (God is the only Doer)

Gopal: It helps to understand in why people do bad things
to remember that only a tiny slice of the pie of their
divinity was brought into this incarnation with them.

Sai Baba: Not in the morning pond does the lion wash his blood.

The Buddha: The more evil done to you the more good do in return. (Buddha's
purity was so great that those who plotted to kill him had their plans recoil
upon themselves, not by his actions, but by the law of spiritual physics.)

Wayne Dyer: If you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out.
Nothing can come out of you that is not in you. If when you
are pressured, anger comes out, it is not the fault of the person
who pressured. P

Jan Freundschuh: (To a former foe) Now I see you as a pure rushing fountain
..adorned only by your own sweet splashes.

D Calleia: I went to sleep praying for an opponent, someone who
had repeatedly harmed me. That night God came to me in her
form.. and gave me a creative new way to draw my graphs.

JBO: So are you saying that you are getting the senior citizen
discount on your sins and the reduced weekend excursion rate
on your transgressions?

Saint Of Shirdi: It is the fruitladen tree which attracts a shower of

S Anthony Grafio: To hold someone in past thoughts is to imprison him.

Leonard Bertsch: Resentment turns a face slap into an ulcer.

A Thakur: My uncle received the anger of a great saint. He
considered it a blessing.

Alanon (passed through SC) Others' opinions of me are not my

Jessamyn West:
It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit and
gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own.

Poster: Until past images are released, one is a blocked tv screen.

K. S. Hoare: The woman was not miraculously healed until she forgave
the horse who had thrown her.
(*perhaps all horses need to forgive their human oppressors)

John C Lehman Jr: Sometimes it is not necessary the problem
to solve but change the angle of vision and the problem dissolves.

K. S. Hoare: Part of her heart was tied off by God..
that the rest might grow larger.

Mahatma Gandhi: An eye for an eye makes everyone blind.
(Jesus came to make the blind see.)

Unknown: To understand all is to forgive all.

Josh Billings: There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

Ausonious: Forgive many things in others; nothing in yourself.

Alexander Pope: To err is human; to forgive, divine.

Henry Ward Beecher:
I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not
forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note--torn in two,
and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.

Dorothee Deluzy:
It is easier to forgive an enemy than a friend.

Starseed: You do not have enough data to assign value to
any action.

Swami Premananda: True forgiveness lies in awakening the divinity of another by manifesting the divinity in oneself.

S. B. Everett:  paraphrased: When we recognize that we are all One,  we send vibrations of love to all. (When one part of the body is in pain, cells elsewhere rush to heal.)

Sai Baba: God stands outside all mathematical equations
no matter how long.. ready to render a plus or minus,
multiplication or division.

Jesus: Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you.

Bible: Judge not lest ye be judged.

Few earthlings want to be released immediately
from our body prisons, nor let the bird of life soar
out from the rib cage

Balaram fought the demon all night long and they were still tied..
Krishna disarmed the demon with one smile of unconditional love
-Sai Baba- P

Anger is always can be released but not
created by external stimuli.........

No one but you can annoy you or make you angry
You are responsible for your response to the environment

Jesus in the Our Father  He asked His followers to recite:
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those
who trespass against us.

There's nothing in this life which is worth worrying about," she says.
"Don't be nervous, whatever happens. Don't sit near your TV sets and wait till
finds you. Work, walk, meet people, do something but don't stop moving.

"Love people and forgive people, whatever they do.
-Hanna Barysevich near Minsk.. 116 years of age-

P means paraphrased

No arrow can return unless it was sent out by a person
in one life or another.

a documentary on the Green River killer....
Like many serial killers he was perhaps an abused child and more
certainly abused
animals.... the loved ones of his many women victims
were allowed to confront him at the trial.. he sat unmoved
... as they all accused him... finally one man came forth
and said "I forgive you." The prisoner broke into tears.
Forgiveness can move mountains

It is the nature of judges to be judgmental, and in the US, the 'higher'
their status, the more likely they are to kill with their pens.
Thaddeus Golas: In response to pain, the natural thing is to contract
but one should expand (rather than shutting down when
someine is cruel, Golas says togive more love)
Corrie Ten Boom: (paraphrased) Speaking about forgiveness
after the war, a man came up to me after the lecture. He took my hand and
told me he had been the jailer who had harmed my sister (who
had died in the camp). He asked for my forgiveness. My arm froze. I prayed to
God that though I could not forgive him, God
could pass forgiveness through me to him. In the current
which rushed through my arm, we both began to weep.
Yom Kippur is not the only day God calls on Jews to forgive.
Every day Jews are called on to forgive.
R Avrutis: Each year on Yom Kippur at my temple we recite:
"May no one suffer on my account."
We become what we focus upon.
Unknown: Don't hate the haters
Do not ask the sour hard green fruit to be rainbowhued soft and sweet.
nor the rosebud to have the beautiful fragrance
of the fullblown rose
nor the sapling to provide the shade of a centuries old oak.
L Hill: Sometimes negative memories can roll around the
head for many decades before they are finally released.
SMC: Even if your part was only 5% of the argument,
try to send a letter asking for forgiveness whether or not
you name mistakes you made.
Don Young: paraphrased: judging implies superiority
Richard Nixon prosecuted an evil war, bombed and killed millions.
But he too had some wisdom. He said words to the effect 'Your enemies may hate
you, but they don't win unless you hate them back.'
Forgiveness flushes away escess weight, stress, and cancer

Catherine Ponder:  When one holds resentment toward another, he is bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel.

Nonforgiveness is a passive form of violence,
degrading into a sulkiness which repels others.
Forgiving is
. unplugging a clogged sewer
. putting down a heavy burden on a very hot day
. recognizing God who indwells our foes as well
. realizing that all return hurts are boomerangs of what
we sent out in this or another life
. taking that same old picture..
off the tv screen
. taking the needle off the broken record
. realizing that all judging is projection of self hatred
. melting the icebergs in the sea of love

As 32 degrees centigrade is the temperature at which
icicles melt, so it is inevitable in the history of each soul
that he or she arrives at a forgveness point.
As the icicle daggers of King Winter melt away,
so do the stalactites
of past fights.

(P after an entry signifies it is paraphrased from memory)
When President McKinley was shot by Czolgosz

Those in line behind Czolgosz and guards in the room all jumped on Czolgosz and
started to punch him. Seeing that the mob on Czolgosz might easily and quickly
kill him, President McKinley whispered either, "Don't let them hurt him" or "Go
easy on him, boys."

Edmund Morris reports in the book Theodore Rex that McKinley's
last words before his death several days later were "Nearer my God
to Thee. Thy will be done."

(McKinley was shot on Sept 6 2001 and was recovering,
but gangrene from the bullet's path through nonvegetarian
intestines was the final cause of death. When George Wallace,
American candidate for president shot by a hit man employed
by war profiteers, was hit, he had, said a national news magazine,
just eaten a hamburger, and the bullet trailed an ecoli (colon
bacteria) path through his body.)

Albert Einstein:
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is
shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.

Hatred can magnetize enemies to each other to the point that
they are fused together as Siamese twins.

Lawrence Wilson: about the presence of adrenaline in the brains of those experiencing anger:  Anger is a state of glandular arousal the body in response to danger or perceived danger.


Unforgiveness yokes one to his foe.

Nondualists, those accepting the unified field theory of physics,
believe GOD is the only Doer, the only Actor. Therefore
nondualists must forgive GOD.


The vicious cycle of revenge can go on for millenia.


The vicious cycle of revenge causes escalated violence.


S B Everett: We do not judge those we love. That unconditional love can be extended to all. P

The sour hard green fruit cannot help it that it is not ripe soft and sweet, nor are young souls unfolded.

Do not take personally the projection of others' movies onto your screen.

The scorpion becomes the eagle when he soars high in detachment from the foibles of others.



(unnamed entries are from SNS)




The dark and the holy,


Atop a shiny devil,


Rise does the heat and inhaled they go racing,


Simple is the act,


The scene always plain,


But with it the ever lurking pain,




I took to the mirror,


A shallow thing,


Lost and found again,










Why does love come to mind?


For I love so greatly,


But why?




The mirror takes guide,


It's light too bright,


It's hand wreathing mine,


And pulled with great force through time,




"This is why."


It speaks and tattles of me,


"These the great torments be."


"A weeping worry to many."




It's cold and bitter glow,


It's sorrowful woes,


A mirror to the mind,




"And these your loves be, roses given up to the wind and plucked carefully."


"Watch them..........................wisp beyond the mountain, pedals red through the valley, and bled Earths bend beyond and beckon."




"Had they a choice? The beauties red? Of love fleeting and endless dread?"


"A mind so weak, a tattered score, strummed and sung in the lowest chord?"


"Why love? A thought from the deepest core, when night consumes and all abhor. A lonley voice on the tips of time, the last rebuke of a dreary kind."




For love I cry,


For those I've hurt,


The unseen tears they didn't deserve,


For love I plead,


Forgive me,




And strike it unto me,


For awoke the great beast cavernously,


And turned the tide,




Of heart sunken ships,


And portholed lungs,


Black the powder bore my mind,




But with last my breath,


And to mirrored imaginations,


To friends,


To love,


And all our sensations,


For lust,


And grief,


And sorrow I'd give,


My life and heart for your happiness,




It's you I love and all I adore,


It's you I'll die happily for,


The strength I find and will I get,


It's all for you...






"And close your eyes...for the heart needs no sight...and listen not... for the ears divide...but feel."


Intimacy (In This Moment)

To My Wife

Lost in this moment

The warmth of our bodies make us sweat

The stiffness from what we have just accomplished

You and I,

A miracle

Your breath invites me in

Into your heart

Into your mind

Into your very soul

As our bodies mesh into one

As our souls embrace each other

You sigh as I touch you

Ectasy as we unite

Swirlling vortex of pleasure

Both of us lose sight

As life is created within you

As death is passed on through me

A miracle is created

A mirror of that moment

When we came together as one