The Here The Now

Did you see the nothingness

Taste your dreams delight

Feel the pain of helplessness

Diving head first into the night

Which is my reality?

The here 

The now

Or where?

If only you could come with me

I could show you

But beware

One day through the dark mist

The Here

The Now

Or where

My soul will merge

Gently stop

And end this life's despair?


© Tony McNally

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We have never met
Not in this realm
But we know each other 
So well……………………..
Its hit and miss
If I meet you again
The vale of sleep descends
Where shall I go?
Toss the coin
Throw the dice
You are perfect
I love you……………..
You opened the door for me
One day…………………..
We will enter…………..
Never to wipe the sleep from my eyes
But home……………….
What is a dream?
Maybe its real?
Just maybe………….
I will Rest In Peace.

© Tony McNally

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The Mystery Beyond

He stares down at me with hundreds of blinking eyes

I stare back,

Mesmerized by the mysteries he holds dear


The damp blanket beneath welcomes me.

The green claimimg my fingers,

my toes

Begging me to remain


I see his eyes coming down on me,

Lifting me, 

Telling me he wants to show me,

Show me his secrets


He lifts me.


I meet with a blakened curtain,

His eyes have gone

I am alone,

alone in a pool of darkness


I hear his voice

A tiny whisper in my mind.

He tells me to come,

says he wants to show me


The black curtain follows wherever we go.


He tells me he has nine children

Nine who are so different.

He wants me to see


He says he has a favorite,

He says he is beautiful,

He says he has the bluest of eyes,

And skin like oatmeal

He says I have met him


I see the other eight

I am in awe 

I want to know their secrets

I reach out,

they are too far


The air feels funny,

My eyes feel heavy,

I open them and find the stars above,

My coat damp from the green carpet beneath,

My fingers buried in it

I realise then,


I HAVE met his favorite

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Searching for a way to Sacramento

Leaving these dark east clouds behind

Because maybe this way they’ll remember me,

caught under the waves,

asleep in the sand,

a writer on a park bench under a palm tree.


Pros and cons, back and forth

Weddings and funerals

as the hourglass of the storm ticks away

All I can think, all I can dream

is maybe in Sacramento it’s blue

Maybe they see the light of day.


But not this blue,

the view of the rain clouds and the puddles and my chest and my veins that struggle to wake up every morning.

I poke them.

I have to remind them, order them around so they pump my blood and keep me from turning into one of those empty body suits on the street over there, straining against a gray concrete existence.


No, not this blue.

The blue of the sky you can drink

and the ocean you can touch

with fingers that have never even been buried in sand,

fingers that haven’t even left home yet.


Hey, Sacramento, I’m willing to try

Unlike a lot of those clouds that slip by

and make out like they’re moving on to somewhere

better and less idealistic than there.


No, Sacramento, I’m a dreamer like you

and I know right now I’m a stranger to you

but I won’t be a stranger for very long

if you open my postcard and start humming this song.


Wrap me in the sunshine of the ocean view

and send me sea glass, a tiny piece of your blue

I’ll remember this promise, I swear it’s true

Hey, Sacramento, I’m coming to you

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 6/1/16

The Beauty in Love & Art

I doubted I would find real, mutual love for the longest time.

That is only because I've looked in the wrong places and have fallen hard every time I thought

I found a missing part of me.


The problem with me is I don't fit in when I'm in any other group.

All around me in my daily life, I end up doing things I didn't want to do.

My life is getting stuck between a rock and a hard place when I choose

To be something I feel is right for me.


You're not hard to please for you are a fellow artist who shares my passion and attraction.

We color each other's worlds and we help each other out when we need it the most.

I give you my passion and you give it back in return.

We are not dependent on one another because we can take care of ourselves.


The sea leads to many places and although I have not landed where I needed to go,

You found me and led me in the right direction.

With you and me together, "lost" has no meaning.

We are simply taking our time to get to where we need to be.


The forsaken world and everything that was wrong with it will be far behind

Once I leave what destroyed me before and look for who I am.

The chains that keep me from breathing no longer exist

When I am somewhere else in the consciousness hidden within.


The art I color is vital to me as taking a breath.

Likewise, the more we are next to each other,

The more I see how selfless and warmhearted you are.


The way you treat me thaws my own heart until there is a flame that surrounds it.

A flame that only burns when you and I continue to bond.

Only you can see and feel how special it is to me that you make me feel that way.

I dream of us meeting face to face so we can make our artistic worlds come to life.


You teach me many things that I hold onto in my life.

Being with you helps me resist temptation that hinders my goals.

Speaking my tongue to you helps me become wiser in knowing the right things to say.

Presenting my own art to you helps me gain the courage to keep blossoming until my colors bloom like summer flowers.

More importantly, revealing my hopes and dreams to you gave me the escape from misery I longed to achieve.


In return for your kindness, I give you my passion and complete our missing soul.

To truly build up trust, all we have to do for each other is stay and that's what I will do for you.



Maybe if we could

stretch to the stars

the sky would rest

at our fingertips,

wild but ours just the same


Maybe if we could

reach the stars

words would spill from the sky,

the universe’s dreams would douse

the inferno that singes us


Maybe if we could

touch the stars

insanity would meld with reality

and all the pencil strokes in the world

would finally be enough to start over


And I still tear

stones down from the trees

and scatter them

across the universe

until my stars fall from the sky


But the beauty of those stars

is that they’re untouchable

and no matter how far I climb

how fast I run

how deep I love

I’ll never reach them

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 2/6/16

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Self Destruct

Self Loathing

What lies in mind

Are but dreams; rising

A growing wave

An eager uprising                                                                    

What I know

And the differences; believed

Cuffing these hands                     

From possibilities achieved.

What I foster

Are but lightbulb fields; glowing

Never to be picked

Upon my table; showing

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I’m somewhere,

In a different time

In a different place


I’m somewhere,

A different feeling

Lost in space


I’m somewhere,

Caught in the midst

Of everything I know

In all that exists

My limitations grow


I’m somewhere,

Exposed and valiant

Bright eyes; knowing


I’m somewhere,

Trembling and fierce

Hearts on shoulders; showing





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Warped Existence

Self Loathing



Never been the one

To stand and fight

For the dreams

That sore so high


I’m the one that hides

With fear inside

Living on burnt memories


Can’t seem to find

A fresh start

A new beginning

Without hindering hands


That grasp my sanity                      

Preventing me

To take a stand


I’m hurting and bleeding

From self-inflicted moods

When will I learn to love?

And heal these open wounds


How can I stop dying on the inside?

Rotting and withering away

Picking up my shattered pieces

In hope, that they’d stay



Breaking free from this hold

No longer listening to what I’m told

I’m sold on this future, meant to be


All these thoughts

Crashing down

The storm’s coming

And I’m here waiting


Can’t be hell bound

Chains wrapped around me

Screams with no sound


Sold on stories told

Silver linings and sun shine

Coming after the rain

Please erase this pain, warring


Ripping off this sorrow

Like clothes off my back

There can only be a better tomorrow


So let the rain come

Wash me clean

Swipe the things off my plate

That keep me, from me