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Rhetorically: A Conversation Trip Inside My Headspace 

(05/11/2024

)

• I need to ask you a question. Is there something wrong with me?
• There must be something “off” that you’re unable or unwilling to see.
• Why don’t I deserve the same consideration as him, as them, as her?
• Because obviously you’re not good enough, otherwise “how things are” would’ve long since become how they were.

• What if I’m just afraid of the unknown and what something real would require?
• Stop whining. You’ll be as happy as you choose to be as soon as you acknowledge that your irrational phobia is a thief and a liar. 
• But what about all this self improvement I’ve done and how I’ve bettered myself from the inside out? 
• You said you did that for yourself and yet here you stand looking for external validation and crippled by your it self doubt. 
• But I did do it for myself! Still  maybe it might be nice to have someone who appreciates it with whom to share my affections. 
• But what if the rest of the world doesn’t see what you see? After all you’ve never actually seen your own face—only pictures and reflections. 
• So they don’t actually mean it when they tell me that I’m so pretty and so smart and that I’m such an amazing catch?
• C’mon, Ky, they’re clearly just being polite cuz it’s been over 40 years and you haven’t found anyone that wants to be your partner and your perfect match. 
• That’s not true! I’ve been told “I love you” lots of times, but I had to tell them it couldn’t work since they didn’t share my faith and love my God.
• So you only attract those that don’t share the most important part of your life…don’t you think that’s the tiniest bit odd?
• And going back to crippled, you’re middle-aged and handicapped with a chronic illness—do you honestly think someone would want to take that on?
• Don’t be delusional; this is real life not an Ed Sheeran song. (when your legs don’t work like they used to before)
• Stop it! Shut up! Now you’re being deliberately harsh and unnecessarily cruel. 
• Don’t get mad at me; I’m just calling the game as I see it—I didn’t write the rules.
• Maybe I wasn’t direct enough before: The truth is you’re a saboteur because you’re a frightened woman-child and  fear has you tight in its clutches.
• I said be quiet! I can’t stand you—and that’s saying a lot considering  I’m holding on for dear life to these crutches. 
• You think you’ve got me all figured out with your clichéd “better the devil you know” assessment and hackneyed psycho babble. 
• I’m done with this interchange. I’ve had enough of your gabble. 
• Besides who do you think you are? You don’t know me, and who gave you permission to respond to my thoughts and questions so categorically?
• You gave me permission, remember? I do know you cuz I AM YOU, and you can’t ask yourself questions rhetorically.