Dreams and Schemes

My heart races as we lock eyes,

He is dangerous

I am like a gazelle

Who believes a nesting lion is my mate

Blinded by forces unseen. 

He is beautiful

Like an unfinished work of art

Free for interpretation

I am a painter

He is my muse on a blank canvas.

He is a schoolyard bully

I am his nerd

He hits me so hard i taste blood

Bile rises in the back of my throat

But i love the pain of it.

But He is poison

And i am his victim

Slowly suffering from his effects

Longing for a way

To turn the tables.

Now he is the target,

I am the loaded gun,

About to pull the trigger...

Pixilated memories

Sitting in her office. Looking at the child who never ages. The digital photo, blurry, without definition.  never to change.


The only hope the stock photography of beaches, a shell, a butterfly, a burger coupon


her carpet worn with weight. with sadness, with the un ending pain of losing the child of her child.


ended life. the name stops. the poverty continues. endless pain. endless loss. never again to see the one thing she had lived for. the one happy point of her day. the smile. the light. the future.


now is ended. now has faded into pixilated memories.



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In dark dreams
I walk again
those empty
hospital corridors


with their dull lights
and smell of disinfect
and death
in those dreams


I look for you again
my son
passing by
the blanks faces


of others
looking at
their eyes
for glimpses of life


or concern
or such  
as humans
sometimes have


I go by
room after room
pass porters


the occasional trolley
by the various
side wards
passing by


the bright lights
of hospital shops
in the dream
I am hoping


to find you once more
sitting there
on the bed
your back turned


your head lowered
but this time
I am hoping
for a healthier you


my son
not one so ill
so lost
in this dream


sunlight shines
through the window
of the small ward
a bird sings


not that dull curtain
the murmur
of voices
the usual limbo like


air about the place
this time my son
I wish to find you well
looking at me


with your own
familiar smile
not that haunted


and tired eyes
that draw from me
a steam
of deep felt cries.


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Shots fired

Son dies

Shots fired

Mother cries

Shots fired

Doing life

Shots fired

Mother dies

Shots fired

Son cries

Shots fired

Doing life

Shot fired

Daughter dies

Shots fired

No one crys

Shots fired

Doing life

Shots fired

In the ghetto


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The Masterpiece




I thought I'd draw the silhouette

Of how it made me feel

When you died,

But since there was nothing inside,

The page remains blank to this day.

I never want to see that masterpiece.



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Light and Dark

Where where is darkness
There is light
Where there is daytime
There is night
Where there is peace-time
There is war
When comes after
Look before

Enter My Fear

All of the welcoming emotion suddenly dies.
and the darkness shrouds the land in only misery's cries.


Enter grief!
A timeless ocean. 
Trapped of despair, trapped without relief
Enter the moon!
Endless racing of the thoughts.
Including you alone, trapped dead inside an empty room

The dead is holding you stiff once more!
Staring into your eyes, never have you felt so gone before

The time comes again, to pit against all that is you
Will you ever find the part of you that is actually true?

Paint the sky bleak
Consider everything we cannot speak

The one painting with the sun I painted as a child is lost.
Reality has broken the barrier, this is the ultimate cost


Together Forever

To My Wife

If life is a game

And love is a place

Then I'd ever be

Within your embrace

But now we are far

So far from each other

But soon it's not so

In kisses we'll smother

When time is a memory

And space is a dream 

Together forever

Rid of fates scheme

Laying together

On a midsummers day

Gone into the light

Wisped far away


She missed him
in her bed


missed the smell of him
the indentation


in the pillow
where his head lay


the silly
romantic things


he used to say
the kisses


on her body
every place


on her face


but it wasn't
just the kisses


or the sex she missed
or the way


he fired her up
on entering her


the way
he did each time


she missed of all things


the deep joy
he brought


the kind
that only


happiness brings
she turned over


and gazed at the pillow
where his head


once lay
the missing indentation


the dark hair or two
the sight of him


smiling back
after having sex


another time
(he was never slack)


she felt
his absence


more so then
no ghostly smiles


or gazes
just the white


dumb pillow
laying there


smooth and silent
like a sleeping sheep


she ran her finger
along the bed


where once
his body lay


that is where
his butt would be


and there
is where


we made love
that last day


before his death
took him away


she sighed
the echo of it


filling the room
spreading out


each bit of space


she thinks
he's still kissing her


first her body
then her face.

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