lies

Straight Lies

When He was 18 

Went to his mom to confess 

Mom I think I'm  gay 

Love thinking  of suck dick 

Dream about one after another 

From Sunup till forever 

Staying on my  knees never getting up 

So ill amputate my feet 

Donate  them to an amputee 

Not one to be wasteful 

1 time after a  face full 

Called his father who answered just to scream 

Don't call me you fag 

Then the familiar sound of the phone hitting the ground followed 

Starts laughing 

Cause this happens every time he calls 

$600 his dad has spent on replacements 

His mother goes to interrupt he cuts her off 

Mom there's more 

I'm addicted to gay porn 

To the point I seen everyone 

Now I watch straight and my stomach turns seeing the girl 

Would've told you sooner but I didn't want you to be like dad 

Your all I got 

But I been busting nuts for years staring at men's butts 

One day , and this bad 

But I almost raped the mailman 

Only thing that stopped me was 

I was getting off to Slater in his trunks while cursing Jessie and kelly 

Hope I haven't let you down 

I hope you still love me 

I hope .... She cuts him off 

With a long strong  embrace 

 Few tears falling down her face 

Love whoever you want 

Be with anyone you choose 

I'll always want what I always wanted for you 

Just to be happy 

You have never disappointed me 

Until now 

Remember those nights when you was 5 I sat and held you to calm you after your father left you 

The anger you had at 13 and took out on me 

The lost time we had cause of the 2 jobs I had in order for us to make it 

But most important 

Don't you remember anything  I taught you

If you did you wouldn't be sitting here telling this story 

It's a good one and if I wasn't so hurt I would make you prove this 

And using me knowing I'll die fighting for you 

This ain't your first lie but it's by far the worst you could've told

Not only willing to walk away from them 

but 

Now I'm seeing what I always been afraid of

You being like him 

She came by today to let you know in person 

Being you quit taking her calls 

But you were gone 

So she told me to tell you 

Don't worry she's not pregnant 

But now what bothers me more is 

What if she was 

 

 

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Final Stage

Disgust, anger, fear, denial, reason, acceptance, denial, acceptance, effort, total acceptance, disappointment, release, rebuilding. 

 

My love for myself must far exceeded all the misguided love I put in you. 

You were my happy space, my blue sky, my lover, and my confidant. 

But I wasn't your jack of all trades in love. 

For so long you were more important than me, to me. 

Then you hit the eject button on our roller coaster of love.  

To my rose colored glasses just as we were getting to another straight. 

In front of me, a hard, I meaneed diamond to safety scissors hard place. 

Behind me, the rock that held Excalibur. 

I had my hands prime to free that sword for so long...

Little did I know it would soon become the weapon lodged deep into my heart. 

My king of a broken kingdom...How fitting is that title?

I thought I failed my son by allowing his vision of a 2 parent filled home to be snatched away. Should have tried harder but that takes two to tango.

Little did I know I was filling his eyes with deception and terrible renditions of a happy home. 

All bad? No not at all. 

No scars or abuse, as it would seem we just forced a round peg in a square hole at the wrong time stamp.

Trips down memory lane? Sorry we don't go that route anymore. 

You made it look so easy, and that ease killed me even more.

If I am ever to rebuild this dynasty it must be on new ground. 

The foundation we once had turned into a sinkhole the size of the Grand Canyon. 

We constantly defend ourselves against the other until we ended up on the attack without conscience effort. 

No fears my heart is trying to get the grand opening sign back up and lit. 

My mind wants to believe in a world that wouldn't just make me view love from a cage. 

No desperation here I can and will wait on my King! 

Until then I will clean my castle and fine tune my Queenly charm, so that it is ready to greet him royally upon his arrival. 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

It's alot and it's a bit of babbling, but it's my heart open for display. I loved, lost, and wish to love again one day much later. This is my healing process. 

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Snake in the Grass

They say what goes around comes around

And that karma's a bitch

And you'll get back tenfold

Whatever you dish.

 

When you mess with a snake

You are bound to get bit

You were merely a snake in the grass

And now I'm about to chop off your head.

 

For every action, you take

There is an equal but opposite

Reaction you make.

 

So, with a little distraction

And a bit of retraction

In due time, I'll seek my revenge

To gain sweet satisfaction.

 

You think I forgave and forgot

And over time tensions eased,

Well I'm not as passive as I once was,

You won't get off scot-free.

 

You love to play games

And break all the rules,

Never concerned about repercussions

Which makes you a fool.

 

You show no remorse,

Not ashamed in the least,

Nor bother with repentance,

In fact, you seem pleased.

 

I'm reasonable by far,

I see both sides of a story,

But if I stood where you're standing

Then yeah, I'd be worried!


 

 

~Deziraye Wald~

 

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Lurking

I liked us,

We always had each others back,

I can remember looking at your smile

Thinking I could see it carrying on for miles into some world of bliss,

Your little brother would look at you,

As if having more knowledge of that rich, expansive kindess,

Of what I assumed was at your core,

 

Now I know,

There is a demon who dwells inside of you,

I hear its stomps and roars,

Its shackles whipping and bending at its will,

Putting cracks in what I once thought,

Was a friendship sturdy as marble,

I feel the screams of your wrath,

I'm shocked how low they moaned,

When you created so many elegant distractions,

But now I see what lives in you,

And I fear it waits for me,

To throw my bones with all the rest,

Of the sorry fools that ever bought your act.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I know I haven't posted in a while but a certain person has managed to make me so incredibly irritated that I am back to writing. Hope to have a few more posted by the end of the week. Enjoy!

View mypersonalpoems777's Full Portfolio

Career politician

Do i care of course not
I wouldnt even know if you rot
Now vote you retard
For your vote i lie very hard
You want education
Ill give you a vacation
Get back to your station

You are a fool if you think you have a choice
Now vote for me ill be your voice
I have a big house car a suit
Now get in line or ill make you mute

I sneer with a smile
And fool you for while
Draw you in with my bile
Im your freind who will serve and protect
But from humanity im disconnect

Ill cut the deficit
It will be to your benefit
Ill tax hard cut hard
Even make getting help hard

Equality is my facism
My Green's the new red
My Freedom is your slavery
Your kids are my martyrs
Im your buddy in a suit

At lies im a magician
The law is my weapon
Satan my companion
You know me alright
Im a career poltician

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Friendship

A bittersweet feel,

Loneliness at best.

 

You feed me attention,

When it suits you most.

 

Once adressed,

Messages are left ignored,

And yet you boast.

 

With a want for attention,

You come to me in tears.

 

I appease,

For only you to confirm my fears.

 

A cycle it seems,

You want and I please.

A ridicoulous thought,

As if I,

Could perhaps ask for you to appreciate,
To not face me with willful lies.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

No one's to keen on my poems anyways

 

All alone All along

like porcelain shavings

her skin began to crack

like a feather floating on thin air

she's losing strands of silken hair

 

the mirror spits back 

all the qualities in which we lack

like needles in our eyes

poisoned with vain lies

 

she savored the quiet moments 

devoid of conversation 

the sound of still breathing

the footsteps that followed him leaving.

 

the closer I feel

the further you fade

the more I crave

the less you feed

so I chose not to need 

a single thing..

 

will there ever be a solid bridge built to cross..?

a river below, to toss our fears away...

voices muffled, as she sank deeper

yet no hand reaches.

sunshine streaks through the surface

the only warmth you'll get

engulfed in cold fluids

& a heart weighed down by loves disillusions---

many reminders of what could have been..

 

all alone

she knew it all along..

Author's Notes/Comments: 

5.7.15

Trust

Sex, 

drugs, 

ciggerettes , 

money and music , 

power and fire , 

pornography ,

philosophy , 

on top of me, 

inside of you ,

can you trust me?

 

space, 

death, 

lies , 

loniliness ,consciousness,

treading thy water ,

everyday I'm worse ,

everyday I wake up,

come wander with me love ,

come wander with me ,

away from this sad world ,

come wander with me ,

I came from the sunset ,

I came from the sea,

come wander with me love ,

can you trust me? 

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*All These Lies*

 October-19-1998

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins

 

All these lies

I'm getting sick of them

Sometimes I think I should say my good-byes

They are growing so fast like an infested stem

 

You tell me one thing

Then you tell me another

Your promises you never bring

It's amazing we're still together

 

I try to hold on

But you make me so mad

To the point I can"ttake it anymore

Letting go will only make me sad

These lies and promises are becoming a bore

 

I love you too much

But all these lies got to leave

Even though I'll miss your soft gentle touch

One day I'll be gone then you'll believe

That I got fed up with all these lies

It became too much

 

No more kissing

No more blue skies

You'll be missing

No more lies

Stop before it's to late

Stop before I lose all fate

 

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