My ode to the soap opera
Originally created to sell soap
And now they steal souls
Hypnotising the populous
To think others lives exist
That are worse than us
Screaming, shouting too
The air is normally blue
Throw in a murder or two
Compared to your life?
How does it compare to you?
A catchy, established tune
Normally introduces you
Images of a fictional town
Soon starts the darkness
Actors with permanent frowns
definitely work of fiction
but some have an addiction
nothing but a life constriction
living another’s dream world
in life terms a contradiction
Commercial channels cramming
Materialisms advertising
Addiction lead to wallet resizing
this format got you gripped?
Needs a personal uprising
energy flows to your tv
when you stare; circuitry
rewired very covertly
why their called programs
to ensure your conformity
in a system that shouldn’t be
we should all be flying free
being controlled quietly
though nobody would admit
this, it surely be
Im short
9 days short
Pearnts come home
They Ague On why
on why im short
I Dont know why
My father turns to my mother
asks her have u taken them
She stands there in a shocked gaze on her face
a worrying look tells it all Tells it all
I realise why im short all the time now
I need them to do my everyday life habbits
I realie on them for school
I realie on them For Controlling myself
For every single thing i do
I need them
with out them im lost
lost in pitch black darkness
Last time I was stupid
it cost me friends
it cost me my Job
that right my job
My only sorce of money
I Did somthing stupid i didnt have them at all
4 weeks with out them Cost me soo much
mentally and physically
I gained weight
I suffered the depression
I suffered losing wat mattered to me
If only she didnt take them
I would still have a job
I wouldnt of done what i had done
“Listen unto me the voice of chaos, wrecking havoc until all hope is lost. There is no salvation within the mind of the wicked, no redemption for the sickest. Depravity seeps into our moral fiber, where the insanity of it all is the poison to the cure.”
Smoke rose from the revolver as I held it. Standing to my feet I looked down at the lifeless corpse of my twin then towards the empty gun as I tossed it in Sin's lap. I was just about to turn and leave when I stopped once more looking down at the china tray on the table. “What the hell.” I thought as I reached down grabbing a handful of those neon green capsules.
I was roaming the streets at night like a drug fueled junkie. Prowling the back alleyways and hoping fences, I was searching and scouring for answers. I turned a corner and there before me stood a giant beast as its glowing red eyes pierced my soul. I watched in awe as blood dripped from it's massive razor sharp teeth. Why was I not in fear? It charged at me, I heard the shot as the bullet buzzed right by my ear. Driven simply by reaction I jumped to the side as I watched the bullet land perfectly between the beast's eyes. It crashed towards the ground dead on impact as I stood to my feet once more. My eyes moved from the dead creature's body on down the dark alleyway. As if it were not cliche enough, steam rose from the grates that lead to the sewers. Not taking my eyes off the creepy alley I reached down into my pocket producing one of the capsules as I quickly tossed it in my mouth. That is when I heard the footsteps echoing off the buildings as I saw a shadow slowly moving towards me.
'How far we have fallen from the land of paradise'. As the shadow moved closer I was able to make him out. Once again I was face to face with my own reflection. Only this one introduced himself as Greed. I laughed when I heard this of course as my doppelganger before me was wearing a black suit and tie. His sleek hair neatly combed back and tied off into a ponytail.
“That is a good one” I laughed as I reached into my pocket producing another pill and without a second thought, swallowed it. He simply smiled as he reached into his vest's inner pocket and before I realized what was happening he pulled out the same gun he used only moments before to kill the beast. Pointing it at me he squeezed the trigger with no hesitation. The bullet ripped through my shoulder causing me to fly back a good few feet landing directly on my back. I screamed by sheer reflex, as my body quickly began working on sending the pain impulses to my brain. Grabbing my shoulder I began putting pressure on the wound.
“You know what?” Greed had asked as he walked up towards me, tapping the barrel of the gun against his head. “That was a good one” This time he laughed as he pointed the gun down at me again and squeezed the trigger once more. A loud pop echoed once more throughout the buildings, this bullet tore through my left thigh. Instinctively I had reached down putting my hand over the bloody hole. “What the fuck man!” I shouted up at him as I watched him circle me now like a wolf. “Why.” Was all that I had managed to choke out before the pain seized my voice.
Greed finally stopped circling me, as he only smiled down at me. “Because I can?” He chuckled as he raised the gun once more taking aim, this time at my head.
I thought for sure I was a goner. He had me dead to rights, but luck was with me this night or was it? I had closed my eyes for my final seconds on this planet but when I heard the sounds of more footsteps running towards me I quickly opened my eyes just in time to see the end of a machete slice clean through the head of Greed. I inhaled sharply by the sudden change of events catching me off guard.
Greed's body collapsed to the ground as Lust stood behind him. She was wiping the blood from her machete with a rag as I looked up at her blankly. Shortly after that I remembered that I had been shot, not once but twice. I griped the wounds tight to try and keep the blood loss down. I was slipping in and out of consciousness as fragments of time passed by me. One second Desire was kneeling down over me, the next she was standing talking with Lust. I can remember being moved, lifted by them and someone else as I found myself in the back of a car.
“Don't worry love, we will get you to the hospital” I heard Desire's soft voice as I felt her hands holding rags to my wounds. “Should just let his stupid ass die in the streets.” A strange deep voice boomed over the roar of the car's engine. I was too distracted to care, as I fought with my own clothes reaching for my pocket. “My pocket” I had choked out while pointing at it. Desire calmly reached into my pocket pulling out a small neon green capsule. She held it between her thumb and finger as she looked down at me. “Do you really think now is a good time to be taking these?”
I reached up and snatched it out of her fingers quickly swallowing it as I laid back down in the back seat. “Don't you dare fucking lecture me, bitch.” Lust was having none of it. She slammed her foot down on the breaks as the car came to screeching halt. She turned around in her seat and proceeded to slap me hard across the face. The impact and the loss of blood combined with the pill had caused me to finally black out and lose consciousness. At the same time Lust was verbally lashing out at me for disrespecting her little sister.
My eyes opened as I stared up at the hospital ceiling. I was numb, no pain. My arms covered by the blankets I slowly moved my hand from my side towards my thigh. I felt the bandage that was covering the bullet wound. It took a little while for my chemically sedated brain to put together that I was still delusional. I quickly shot up from the bed. Sitting there taking my time as I surveyed my surroundings. Lust and Desire were sitting by the window to my room that was next to the door. When I turned my head straight I noticed the television hanging in the corner, it was muted playing some cheesy sitcom.
“Good morning sunshine.” A strange voice boomed over the whispers and giggles of the women. I let out a soft sigh as I knew my 'peace' was over. The morphine pumping into my body is powerful but not as strong as I knew the let down of the figure behind this voice. Deep down I knew it was another clone, but who this time? Another emotion? Perhaps this time it's Humility or just maybe Gluttony. Yeah that would be appropriate.
“If you are wondering” He said as he slowly stood up from the chair that was hiding off in the shadows. “I am Envy” He spoke slowly walking towards me. Yup another doppelganger, wearing my face. He placed his hand on the railing of my bed as he walked, his fingers were covered in rings. Platinum, gold, gems, and obviously over compensating for something. He turned his head towards the girls. “Would you lovely ladies, give me and my friend here a moment?”
They looked at each other then back towards Envy. Giggling as they stood up and casually or more so flauntingly exited out the door, closing it behind them.
As soon as they left the room he turned his head back towards me only to see my hand lash out at him. I wrapped my fingers tightly around his skinny neck. My skinny neck. Doped out I still managed to find the strength to bring him down as he fell on my bed, giving me extra leverage over him as he choked and started struggling. “How many more of you motherfuckers am I going to have to kill!” I shouted at him. Fury behind my eyes as I just wanted to see this abomination dead.
He desperately lashed out, then reached over grabbing my thigh pressing his thumb deep into my wound causing the stitches to tear. I screamed out in pain that the morphine could not kill, as I instinctively let go of his neck reaching for my leg. Envy dropped like a sack of potatoes to the floor beside my bed as he gasped for air.
“I came to warn you dickhead!” he tried shouting out as he rubbed his neck still panting heavily. “There is someone big, on his way to see you.” He climbed to his feet using the bed as a prop. Once to his feet he decided to take the opportunity of having the advantage over me as he punched me hard in the jaw causing me to fly out of the bed landing on the floor myself.
Stretching as he made his way around the bed to where I was laying on the floor. “I was just gonna give you the message, and then be on my way.” I got on my right knee trying to keep pressure off my left, when he suddenly without warning kicked me hard in the gut causing me to flip over on my back. I held my shoulder as I grunted in pain.
“So what, now you decide to kick my ass?” Giving him a shitty grin to hide the fact that I was indeed scared. I had no tactical advantage here. Envy laughed as he climbed on top of me, grabbing the front of my hospital gown pulling me up closer to him. I could see his eyes clear as day now hallow and empty. He whispered into my ear before he proceeded to use my face as his punching bag. “What makes you so special to get the girls?” He stopped hitting me after about the tenth time. His fist was covered in my blood but it was what I did next that not only caught him off guard but myself as well. He did not know what to make of me when I started laughing at him.
“Why are you laughing?” He proceeded to shake me in his frustration. “You are beating the shit out of me because you are jealous that I have two smoking hot bitches at my side? You are a moron.” I chuckled as I turned my head to the side spitting out the blood that started pooling in my mouth then turning my head back towards my assailant. “Look you can have them if you think you can get them, I don't own them. Hell I am starting to think they are nothing but trouble anyway.” This actually pissed him off even more as he decided that my face was not messed up enough, he went to town once more. My eyes closed as I heard bones snapping in my ears and I could actually remember feeling the blood running down my ears.
It was quiet now. I had blacked out from the beating I had received. Hell have no fury like your own envy. I could hear footsteps and whispers around me. My eyes were swollen but I opened them. Everything was out of focus, blurry as I managed to see shadows and blobs. Two figures were pacing back and forth at the foot of my bed.
I groaned as I turned my head, the pain was almost unbearable. My eyes started focusing, I could make out the dead body of my alter ego. Envy laid headless on the floor as I heard Lust's voice break the still air. “Sleeping beauty wakes” They both made their way over to my bed each sitting on opposite sides of the bed. I could feel Desire's soft hands touching gently at my face. “Your handy work I take it Lust?” Turning my head just a bit towards the direction of the decapitated clone on the floor. “So you would rather me let him turn your face into ground hamburger?” She smirked as she stood up stretching. She grabbed her jacket from the back of the chair, she carefully stepped over the corpse. “I'm going to run down to the cafeteria, see if I can't get us anything to eat sis.” She walked over to her sister leaning down kissing her. It was when she held the kiss that threw off the first flag in my head. Lust disappeared out the door once again closing it behind her. When I heard the door lock the second red flag shot off. Much like before, I was locked in the room with Desire. Who like before wasted no time before she spun around and carefully climbed on top of me. Easing herself down, she carefully straddled me as to not bump the wounds. I could see the devil herself grinning down at me. What fate was I sealed to now?
She gracefully walked towards me after entering into the room. She came bearing gifts. It was a peace offering from the fallout from the night before. She offered up a cocktail of tasty treats for me to take my pick from. Setting it before me, the china tray used to carry the rainbow platter. I swear it must have came straight from 'George Jung's' own private stash. She smiled coyly at me as she straightened her posture. Lust's eyes trailed up and down my body as I sat back in the chair. “If I had not known any better.” I thought as I glanced around the room catching a glimpse of Lust's little sister, Desire giving me a rather creepy wink.
As if this whole entire experience could not get any more strange. In walks Sin. Slowly he makes his way to the table taking a seat straight across from me. I am at a loss for words, my mind spinning with disbelief, unable to formulate a single coherent thought. Now sitting before me, like staring into a mirror was the very reflection of myself. He began to pick at the China tray sitting on the table. Sorting, separating, the goodies. It was a bad acid trip, yet I am the only one here who has not been taking from the candy jar. “How” would be the last rational thought to cross my mind this night.
My doppelganger looked up from the tray and in short simple words. 'Are you ready?' Identical to my own voice. All I could do to respond was slowly nod my head up and down. That is when he reached out towards me and in his fingers rested a small neon green capsule.
“Was I dead already?” As I took the pill from my clone before me. Once it was in my possession, Sin stood to his feet. Clapping his hands together, without warning causing me to jump in my seat.
I held the pill gently between my thumb and forefinger. Unsure of which bothered me the most, this strange cocktail in my hand or the fact I was seeing myself in a third person. “Had I lost my mind already?” I watched as Sin walked towards the women, leaning down to whisper into both Lust and Desire as they each started grinning.
“What the hell”. Was the thought to cross my mind as I chugged the neon green capsule down my gullet. 'We play the role of the fool' The affects were almost instant. My eye lids grew heavy, struggling to keep them open, to remain focused. It was then that I saw it {that void beyond my own eyes}.
I stirred about under the warm covers as sweat beaded down my face. The sheets were soaked as I shot up awake in a violent burst. As my eyes began to focus it was then that I had noticed Desire sitting on the edge of the bed. She was quiet, and she was ever so beautiful. It was that 'elusive' beauty she masterfully obtained. That dream you can feel only just cannot reach for, with a hint of innocents behind those cruel eyes.
“What had I taken”? I managed to choke out from the desert that was my mouth. Before she could reply the door of the bedroom bursts open as Lust storms in. Fury behind her eyes as she snatched up Desire from the bed. Jumping to my feet, I was quickly stopped by my doppelganger who happened to enter into the room behind Lust. Only since being this close I managed to make out a few differences. His face was aged far more than my own. The life or hope in my reflection's eyes was almost gone, a fading gleam. Was this me? Was this to be me? No rational thought could cross my mind.
Just as I was about to confront this 'Sin', the lights in the room flickered for a moment, seconds later they went out completely. It was then that I heard a strange voice whispering in my ear yet nobody was close enough to me, I felt no breath on my neck, no body close to my own. Just the whispers as I could not even make out what it was even saying. As the door opened once more revealing a little light, I followed as Sin, Lust, and Desire made their way out of the room, holding my head.
“I am losing my fucking mind”.
Once out in the hallway, I quickly dashed for the emergency stairs and it happened just as I heard the girls call out my name. My footing gave way, the step itself shifted. Congealed by my own contact. Tumbling down the massive steps as each one reconfigured itself as I landed onto it. Finally hitting a small landing way, sliding to the wall causing me to stop.
Lust and Desire quickly ran towards me, checking to make sure I was not seriously injured. I struggled to remain conscious as the pain in my head grew worse and worse. Looking around trying to focus. My eyes locked in the eyes of Desire and for a split second, I had felt a sense of sadness. I laid my head back down on the cold floor waiting for the darkness to come, to wash over me. Deep down I felt like I deserved to meet my reaper.
I woke in a small room. Different then the last. The moldy wallpaper was torn in several places. Patched over holes as few candles illuminated the dark corners of the room. Lust looked up from her book as she lounged in a cheap foldout chair. She was wearing a see through purple gown, a tease for it revealed more for the imagination then anything.
She stretched in the chair as she closed her book laying it over her stomach. Watching as the hem of her gown rose slowly up her smooth legs. She spun in her chair facing me, putting her hand between her legs as the palm of her hand placed firmly on the seat of the chair. I quickly blinked and focused back towards her eyes as she was now grinning at me. “Whats the matter my dear?” her voice was seductive, she was preying on my weakness.
“Did you hear the whispers?” My voice was a bit shaky as I watched her slowly sway her legs from side to side. She stopped only long enough to give me a weird look. “Here, these will help you relax.” She had handed me two more of those neon green capsules. Reaching around to the other side of the chair she grabbed a water bottle. Also handing it to me.
“What are these?” I asked as I rolled one of the capsules between my finger and thumb. Lust quietly laughed to herself as she slowly stood to her feet. Leaning in she softly whispered into my ear, feeling her warm breath on my neck as she spoke. “It my love, is whatever you wish it to be.” With that she stood back up, turning towards the door she gracefully made her way to it swaying her hips in the process. She stopped when she had made it to the door “I will send Desire up in a little bit to check on you.” Her voice was calm, and soothing yet it felt like she was hiding something. Turning around she disappeared out the door closing it behind her. Then I heard it, the deadbolt latched form the other side.
I laid down in the old bed, with sheets that seemed to have not been used in years. As I took note of the room once more, I noticed old pictures hanging from the walls. Taking a deep breath and placed both capsules on my tongue, closing my mouth I quickly swallowed. It did not take long before my eyes started to feel heavy. My body becoming more and more relaxed, I started drifting in and out of sleep. I could remember hearing the latch on the door being unlocked.
I heard the creaking of the door as it opened and closed. Then once more it was locked. I could not muster up the desire to get up and see who it was. I remember hearing the soft footsteps as they got closer and closer to my bed. I could also remember the scent of distant roses, only I could not find motivation to turn my head. I just laid there as she slowly climbed into bed with me. When her skin made contact with mine, it sent an electrical shock through my entire system. She carefully straddled me as I felt her warm breath on my lips.
As I opened my eyes, Desire had placed her lips to mine as she kissed me deeply. Feeling her tongue dance about with my own. Her hands found their way to my head as she entangled her fingers within my hair. Slowly she lifted herself up only come back down grinding herself into me and every second that passed the more I could not fight her charms, her seduction. I gave in as I reached up for her. I was going to set claim to Desire.
In my distraction I was not aware that Lust was standing off in the shadows, watching and plotting. What plan was she conjuring up? I would never know, for my thoughts and intentions were lost to that of Sin's.
When I woke from my groggy state I was not even sure exactly what had happened. My clothes were thrown about the small room and on the pillow next to my head laid a black rose. Desire had left me that night. No words were ever exchanged, just that rose as the black petals spoke the story itself.
I made my way to the main living room. There was no one, just another trashed room. In the middle of the room sat the table and two chairs, on the table rested the china tray and on the tray was a gun along with an assortment of different types of pills.
Sitting down in one of the chairs, I slowly reached out and picked up the gun staring at the narcotics on the tray. “Go on.” I jumped, startled from the sudden voice. Sitting straight across from me was none other than Sin. He was smiling, more like a wicked grin as he spoke again “Pull the trigger” He reached over towards the tray picking up a pill, popping it into his mouth. Chewing it with a smug grin as he continued “Go on, we both know it's what you want.”
Without thinking I lifted the gun, pointed it directly at Sin and pulled the trigger. “As the echo fades, I am left just to decay.”
Truth can be addictive
One thing; truth can be addictive
Meditate on; all your information
My conclusion; the trick is
True, false: answers from your spirits
Dis-information: plagues our world
Stop you: Graduating spiritually
Only too: Get you worried as hell
Keep you: in a low state vibrational
My guess: ninety five percent plus
Conspiracy theory's; totally made up
Who by? Brotherhood of the snake
Very dark: Driven by abject hate
The truth: just never gets aired
All swept: under a great big carpet
Comprises: Media propaganda
Built in: the truth can never get far
The two: big stories jeopardizing
Our health: never heard: unsurprising
BP spill: Nothing but illegal mining
China Syndrome : Fukishima rising
Dark around: Dark abounds
Boxing match: Like one of 15 rounds
Winning Dark: on points so far
Play catch-up: tortoise and hare
Dark cannot: stand any light
Not just now: At any time of day or night
The light: obeys all the rules of the game
Total respect: the dark not the same
This planet: quarantined for a while
(now lifted hooray)
The dark: don't care for the divine
But when: the light plays their ace
Insane poker: meek get a brighter place
In between: see aliens on the TV
One thing: they will not be friendly
And if: your government tells you
Aliens invading: wont be the truth
Some facts: 7.4 trillion planets
Human life : your cousins habit
Some of you: seeds from the stars too
Dark greys: with secret governments
Anyone who: Punts truth about the web
Manipulated; otherwise end up dead
Just look at: Milton William Cooper
EX Intelligence: killed by state troopers
He announced: three months before
9/11: false flag, he knew the score
Icke/Jones: still both have a pulse
I'm betting: much stuff is made up
Icke good: on his spiritual vibe
Some in formation: blatantly not right
Moon lives: I a m governed by it
Residents too: My friend Isis lives on it
The queen: no way a shape shifter
Bloodline; Descended from cain
Satan: might as well be
Satanic house of David: definitely
Lady Di: Th is is why she
Married : Charles and evil family
Spencers: descended from Stuarts
The true: bloodline heirs to our throne
George 1st: couldn't speak English
German royalty; Sa xe Coburg Gotha’s
Ev il; 5 in 6 villages in Germany
Nazi’s: massacred most definitely
Nazi’s: live till this very day
Blue blood: All of European royalty
Right under: your very nose
Hitler youth: Ratzinger pope
Empire , Roman, British American
God : don't like any of them
Not: Very meek at a ll you see
None: of them ever fought for peace
The times of Noah again : definitely
Watch it: If your god is money
Give your: life to serving Nazi's
Next world: you won’t be free
I need to be drunk,
I need to feel pain,
but from it, what do I gain?
Nothing, I'm just slowly being slain.
And by my own hand,
my own fucking demand.
Just look at me, how I spend my day.
The second I hear the alarm clock,
I'm reaching for that bottle of bock.
Then throughout the day I grow more pale,
bottle after bottle, ale after ale.
Then every time the thought to stop comes about,
I drown my doubt in a bottle of stout.
And to think it all started as a test,
Now I cant live without the taste, the sweetness,
Is there such a thing as alcohol proof happiness?
In my mind I'm screaming,
Somebody stop me!
I need help!
Don't leave me for dead!
I don't even sleep at night, I just lie in bed,
because there's nothing louder in my head than these words I never said.
Now I have a prediction,
about the future of my addiction.
I'd like to say I'll recover some day,
But I've never been one for words of fiction.
Odds are I'll continue to cave,
Until I meet an early grave.
Is there any other way to live with this insatiable crave?
-The Fever
Dont tell me to leave it in the past,
When I was left here, without hope or chance,
If you only knew, is what they always say,
Self serving decisions, have always been your way,
With a head of nothing, memorized routines,
Watching as these robots, quietly encircle me,
Quick to point your fingers, with shame and discust,
Love thy brother as your own, In God is whom you trust,
Lay me down, take me from this place,
As I sit all alone, a man without a face,
Same old shit as before, Im still running threw,
Repititions have now set their ways,
The needle and the spoon,
Closing in, I can barely breathe,
Cannot hide, the enemy is me,
Rain or poison has recome my life,
Water logged I become a kite,
I am numb, cant feel no pain,
For a moment I am dry from the rain,
Then it comes to soak my skin,
Im right back to where it began,
So lay me down, take me from this place,
As I sit alone, a man without a face,
Same old shit, as was before, I still run threw,
Repititions have now set their ways,
The needle and the spoon.....
It’s official, I can’t live without you
I have realized, I can never let you go.
You have possessed me
Without you, I go restless, I go crazy.
I remember the first time you came to my life
It was a bitter sweet feeling, I really didn’t like.
But ever since, you were always near
From the moment I wake-up, you were always there.
You calm my nerves when I’m not cool
Without you, I look like a fool.
You always lift me up
When my day is so stressed out.
No matter what they say
That you are not good for me
And you will not be good for my heart
I promise you, we will never ever be apart.
I will always be there
I will never ever give you up
You are what I need
You and my big STARBUCKS CUP!
April is crying, she May be dying
The Junebugs chatter overhead while flying
She's alone and cold in the warm spring weather,
outwardly feigning holding it together
Flowers bloom as she withers away,
in the darkness on a sunny day
One day, a revelation
A fleeting glimpse of salvation
With all her might, clutching a candle
She begins to crawl, stumble, scramble
Reaching out, finding an extended hand,
she realizes she is able to stand
From then on every step is a thrill,
amazed at the power of her own will
The freezing darkness melts away
a little more each passing day
As she continues to learn, live, and grow
She can always be warm, even in December's snow.