I cannot help myself
against the slender slopes
hidden beneath her denim skin.
Inside me, there is a wolf, searching
to sheer this sheep's clothing
so that I may devour her.
Perhaps her She-Wolf would
exhale stifled howls, inviting me
to prowl freely and roam with Spirit.
Or perhaps I'm imaging such
liberty...
in truth, I pray secretly
for 'sheepish' prey.
No trust for this lust;
I've lost myself before
to beastly beckoning echoing from bedrooms,
bidding consent to cum hither
for back breaking acrobatics --
but silence is my only partner these days,
karma suiting my insatiable inclination
for constant Kama Sutra sessions.
Maybe it's best to hold
my breath...
and let this blood red Moon
pass.
This wolf will go
unfed,
waiting, quietly,
for a chance.
CLF 2015
Oh sweet, sweet love
This day is meant for us
This day of passion and romance
With a hint of lust
Your crimson lips I yearn for
Your crimson lips that stain
Each and every memory
Helping me stay sane
Memories with a scent
Only your presence can leave
Another lost breathe,
That has been taken from me
Eyes molded in every thought
Angelic flesh beside me; lay
Sensations left on my skin
Reminders of the day
Traces of you are found
Intertwining with my heart
Footprint after footprint
A perfect love to impart
A day so sublime
A night so ideal
Today is meant for us
Flawlessly surreal
My lover knows my needs
she greets me in rose gardens
of the hidden recesses of my dreams
my needs she meets
when we greet under purple skies
we dance we forget we find sensual
trances in the flame of passion
lights the soul
the needs of the dreams of two lovers
who exist in the conscious who
lie in lust and dream somewhere between heaven
and hell...
Bodies intertwined like serpents in the garden of sin
souls dieing again and again
to find the pleasure in the pain
the judgement the sentence
the dream to awaken
to nurture the flower of skin
to consume the nectar that awaits within
WARNING: This is a heavy piece of writing that deals with the topic of sexual assault through relaying a survivors experience of date rape. If you are offended or sensitive to this subject matter, then please refrain from reading this particular piece.
To everyone else: I wanted this piece of writing to channel the various feelings, thoughts, and overall experience of what it's like to go through such a horrific experience. It's choppy, it's scattered, and it's devoid of warmth. It's as though you're watching these events occur, but you aren't really experiencing them. You're disconnected; dissociated. To the survivors of sexual assault, my heart goes out to you and I know your many pains. For me, writing about my experiences has provided more healing than any shrink or pills ever could.
I'm always here to talk if anyone ever needs a listening ear, or sounding board.
You're not alone.
-G.B
19 and naïve
Lonely
Desperate
She rides the 5E down the line
It's 11 PM
Past her bedtime
Work in the morning, she'll sleep in
One shot,
One night,
One boy who never paid her mind
Cold, it's the Dead of winter. She takes off a glove and fixes her hair
He's finally noticed her
She's coming at his midnight beckon
Houses with closed blinds fly past the window
Ever closer to her destination
her heart beats in rhythm to the bumping of tires over potholes
A man boards the bus,
waves a glove in her face
Crazy wide eyes and alcohol on his breath,
insanity pours out of a poisoned mouth
She sidles past and steps outside,
Cold air punches her lungs and leaves her gasping
She's walking
Walking
Walking
Towards the house in the middle of the street
The house he's waiting for her in
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting for his chance
Stopping at the porch, he welcomes her with open arms,
Tall and strong, enveloping her in a disconcerting embrace
They enter,
A staircase leads up
to a room
The room
The room with posters
And a laptop
And an inflatable mattress
'We're going to watch a movie'
It's not a question
We are
I am
I sit, but he wants to lay
His voice slithers wet and heavy in my ear
'You want it, but I'm not giving it to you'
My brain starts to ache
Confusion
Throat becomes sandpaper
I've forgotten how to breathe
I don't want it
Hands now roaming my body without permission
Shallow compliments fall on me and explode in a queasy stomach
I'm going numb
His mouth on mine
This isn't how I imagined it
Fighting back against bile rising in my throat
When did I become naked
He tells me I want it
I still don't
What happened to the movie
I just wanted a movie
He's inside me
Everything hurts
His face is ugly
And I think I hate him
He tells me to shut up
I can't
A hand strikes me
Shocking
Stinging
'I told you to be quiet'
Strong hands now hug my throat
A violent embrace
I want to cough
I can't
Squeezing
Gripping
Spots dance before my eyes
Tears threaten to fall
Please don't betray me
Trying to maintain
I can't
He grabs my face
'Are you crying?'
There's amusement in his voice
It's a game to him
He soothes me
Wipes my tears
Before resuming
Mouth to my ear again
Hissing
Growling
'I love raping you
I love raping you
God it's good
Dirty whore
I know you love it'
I'm there for years
I think I flew away for a few of them
Up
Up
Out of the room with the inflatable mattress
Out of my body
The body that rejected me
Made this happen
Nightmare
It's finally over
A lifetime has passed
I never knew a body could feel like this from the inside
I am dirty
Defiled
Hurting
Alone
Angry and
Betrayed
Now downstairs, he pulls me on his lap
Another man is there and they casually chat
They're laughing
I'm sick
And I think he is too
Going home now
I'm back
I'm alive
(I think)
It's so cold
I work tomorrow
I'm going to sleep in
Some say, Love comes in the beginning
Some even say, "It was Love at first sight"
Some profess, "Their Love came from the heart"
Some actually know, it was just lustful plight
Some see their dream and the endorphins kick in.
Some think it's Love, and don't know where to begin
Some spend a lifetime not knowing Love when....
Someday you'll realize..."Love comes in the end."
Your propensity perplexes me, with your plethora of pent up passion,
Passionately professing prowess in persuading perseptive pawns.
Your persuasive powers presede you, in a pelvic picture plot,
Producing pretty pear shaped particulars, pre-emptive strike at dawn.
Potential parties plead to partake of predominate, pleasing portains,
Poised, passing judgement, pleasure pending, you pick your poison'
He was after her thus,
The uncontrollable lust was,
There in his eyes,
In each organ of his.
She has sensed it at last,
His lust,
Is making her sick gradually,
Since her brain reminds her of it constantly.
Who wins in the end? Let’s see,
The lust or chastity!
Tear my skin apart
Let me feel your desire
Open wounds of passion
Set my soul on fire
Passionate licks
trail down my neck
Kissing so hard
I'm under attack.
Don't hold back
I'm not finished with you yet.
Rip off my clothes,
Make me later regret.
Touch me possessively
Seduce my skin
Let me be yours
Just let me in.
Hold my wrists to the bed
Make me anticipate
A battle has begun
Destruction: Let's create
Manipulate my body
Grind in generous submission
Control my desire
Send me back to remission.
Skin begging to be caressed
You make me beg for release
Whispering in my ear
Oh, please. Please. Please.
Moving across the bed
Seductive bodies dancing
A rhythm so sly and evil
It's nearly romancing.
Finish the job, dear.
My skin only craves you
Let me know you want me
Please, baby, say you do.
Creshendo then silence
Anticipation for the night
Will this be the last time
Or will we be alright?
What can you call this
Something so pure but taint
So thick with obscurity
Muddled down with old paint.
Hiding the flaws in the walls
Sex cannot fix our quandary
So shall we try again?
Wash away the inquiry.
We have nothing left
Love replaced by lust
Our love has failed us
Dead to become dust.