baggage

Empty Suitcases

Folder: 
2013

I know it's not easy
To be in love with me
I'm holding onto
5000 pounds
Of luggage
From the past

And when I packed my bags
And I sat beside you
You asked
If you could carry
Some of the burdon

I swear there were tears
In my eyes
When your smile radiated light
Into the darkest depths
Of my damaged home

So I took my bags
Locked the suitcases tight
And I threw them
Into
The sea

Heaviest sack

Today I find
my anger berates me
I speak to my friend and
think that he hates me

crashing
burning
losing my compass
I keep trying to fix it
but find disappointment

Now I don't even want to write
It seems to me I've lost my sight

I no longer feel the wind...
in my sails

He makes me feel that I'm unworthy...
yet I continue to try...
to be in it...
to stick with it...
for the friendship

I know these things he says are true...
to some degree...
I am stuck...
stuck...
in this same spot...
my baggage...
too heavy...
to move on...

yet I keep packing...

I have to unpack!
it's too hard on my back!
and I really don't want
a bigger sack...

I want to let it go...
the process is sooo slow...

Little by little
I throw things away...
yet there's always more
to put in their place

I keep finding the items
I thought I got rid of...
as soon as I do I pick them up....
I observe them...
and back in the sack they go...

damn it, it's heavy...

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