Author's Notes/Comments: 


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I'm Not Crying

Your single mother and cousins applauded you because they had faith I was the one.

It felt amazing to be this close to a family that I never met in the flesh.

Seeing them in the form of a discarded diary should have sounded an alarm in my head.

Your voice was so solemn and so soothing that it was like tasting a honeysuckle lollipop.

It was the best flavor I’ve ever had until I told you about the pauper I am providing for.

Then the flies showed up and I spent the next two months swatting them away.


One day, I licked the lollipop for the first time since then and tasted manure in the center.

I wondered why something so sweet could taste so repulsive.

But to my surprise, I was struck by the thought that I should have known.

You found yourself a guy you couldn’t wrap around your finger.

I didn’t see it until I was being bled dry and I could barely stay awake.

I had nothing to offer you when you claimed I did.


So why were you angry?

Why were you cranky?

I thought you were dandy

When you abstained from hanky panky.


All this time, you were still the hurt little boy that was raised in the Pope’s lyceum.

And turned into a lamprey the second I couldn’t give him anything to eat.

If you’re alone and free, I’ve already forgotten about you.

If you deserve better than me, you took the easy way out

By cheating on your test in life and got caught by the pauper.

You whimpered in fear of getting expelled and I was prepared for it.


The lamprey within broke free when I couldn’t look at you as the same person I loved before.

You fruitlessly faked your regret and pinned the blame on my ass to get out of jail free.

I’m not crying not because I didn’t care about you.

It was because I have the ending from that film memorized by heart.

It’s crazy, isn’t it? I know. I’ve watched it several times in French as a student.


I know my worth. I’m smiling in public while the sun is up

And brightening up the night when it goes down.

Thank you for putting words in my mouth when you were at your lowest.

Can you remind me again what major you’re pursuing?

Because you behaved like a patient in a case study at Arkham to me.

Wake up and smell the roses, my sweet summer child.

If you can’t stand to be where the bald eagles take flight,

Then park yourself on a bench and feed the pigeons.


Funny, Ha, Ha


Maybe if I had a #hashtagged name,

They'd pay me some attention.

For all the 'social networking' done,

You'd think I'd get some mention.


Everyone is all-too-busy posting,

To spend anymore quality time.

'Social Media' is just an oxymoron,

It's more like a 'Social Climb'.


They are so afraid they'll miss,

A post, a comment or tweet.

Cell phones up in all their faces,

Walking down every city street.


The day of the zombies coming,

are what some people  fear,

But guess what? Take a look around!

They are already here!






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Diabilating Love

An emotion so overpowering.

I cannot control these feelings as they burn like a raging furnace,

boiling my blood to a point that I want to scream his name in ecstacy.

His mear existence is why I was born.

Destined to be together from the moment of conception.

He may not know I'm watching but the hex has already bound our blood.

This life was not meant for us, the existence beyond the living is were we will become one.

All who have come close to him will die, for his love can only be devoted to me.

Each tear he sheds make me smile, for his pain will be the noose that pulls him to me.

Hanging, waiting for my arms to catch him as he's plunged into darkness. 

For me the wait is unbearable, I must cut the anticipation out.

As I lay bleeding I grow numb to my aching soul, it is ready to escape this cursed existence called life. 

Spontaneously an insatiable lust reignites, I cannot be free of this suffering just yet.

This pain I have fabricated will guide him to me.

The days are numbered but the hours stretch long.

These actions have set in motion an irreversible future.

Time is now the one I must kill.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

A dark pome I made through the eyes of the opposite gender. Was imaging someone so obsessed that they go beyond the physical realm to be with that person. 

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Azure Eyes

Beneath the blue,
in faraway,
a castle made of glass;
Fashioned within,
fragile shards,
glimmer lost in time

From windowed heaven,
sharing the color-
of transfixed eyes,
Brings distant view,
to surroundings-
glimpsed outside

Clinging to slivers,
pieces of life,
behind structure's walls
Founded in sorrow,
a parting love,
long passed by

In open skies,
once alighted dreams,
shrouds day with night;
Stars in backdrop,
fade to ebon,
hide presence from sight

Alone to self,
entrance denied-
to all approaching near
Focus of thought,
dwelling in shattered-
bits you find

Through azure eyes,
always the world,
only you see
Beneath the blue,
so far away,
hidden in a castle of glass

© C.E.Vance

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