madness

Warped Existence

Folder: 
Self Loathing

 

 

Never been the one

To stand and fight

For the dreams

That sore so high

 

I’m the one that hides

With fear inside

Living on burnt memories

 

Can’t seem to find

A fresh start

A new beginning

Without hindering hands

 

That grasp my sanity                      

Preventing me

To take a stand

 

I’m hurting and bleeding

From self-inflicted moods

When will I learn to love?

And heal these open wounds

 

How can I stop dying on the inside?

Rotting and withering away

Picking up my shattered pieces

In hope, that they’d stay

 

 

Breaking free from this hold

No longer listening to what I’m told

I’m sold on this future, meant to be

 

All these thoughts

Crashing down

The storm’s coming

And I’m here waiting

 

Can’t be hell bound

Chains wrapped around me

Screams with no sound

 

Sold on stories told

Silver linings and sun shine

Coming after the rain

Please erase this pain, warring

 

Ripping off this sorrow

Like clothes off my back

There can only be a better tomorrow

 

So let the rain come

Wash me clean

Swipe the things off my plate

That keep me, from me

 

 

Sleepless Souls

History is full of sleepless souls and their state infernal,

And the sad tales they are a part of,

What takes their sleep away?

Some say the force is external others go for the internal.

 

Do we have to go further?

Othello, Ophelia, Lady Macbeth,

And scores of others are enough to delve into the causes,

And the source is the tragedies of Shakespeare.

 

Now and again some decide to leave searching for peace hereafter,

Others daren’t go against religion rather retain patience like Lear. 

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tags:

Demonic Words

Folder: 
Cthulhu Mythos

A man found a tome,

In his newly acquired home.

A book of ancient prophecy,

And things he should not see.

 

Written by madmen,

Different from what we all can.

Secreted away,

It drove him mad in one day.

 

The night he read the tome,

He was visited by Demons alone.

Scores of Demons in his dreams,

Banded together in teams.

 

Sounds fell from their mouths,

Dead and corrupted:

 

"GOR NA'AATHUL TUL' CTHULHU.

KELN DU CTHULHU D'ORST NED."

 

Feeling their poisoned tongues,

His flesh, burning along.

With their very words,

Unto corrupted swords.

 

Do not speak the lines aloud,

EGO, this time, don't be proud.

Their divine language on his skin,

From these words you cannot win.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Mythos poem.

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Deadly Madness

Folder: 
Thoughts

Dead I feel,

Dead I went.

They murdered me,

Me and my husband.

 

My greatest enemy,

Who created the matrix.

Deja vu all over again,

When I delve into my madness.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Some thoughts about my delirium.

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Dead Meat

Folder: 
Thoughts

Dead meat,

Is what you eat.

Nothing alive,

It is not wise.

 

I don't know the reason,

But I know the cause.

It is rotten, it is corrupted,

And will drive a man mad.

 

Madness comes from eating brains,

I ain't no cannibal at late.

But eating meat I have to do,

Or certain things I can't see.

 

Blood is very good,

I have no Vampire mood.

But cruel some call,

What I describe at all.

 

My mind going ways,

With meat these days.

Demons, Ghoulies and the rest,

Outsiders are a real pest!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Some thoughts.

Insane

Folder: 
Poetry

You think I don't know what insanity is?

I am schizofrenic myself...

I went through horrible madness,

But now I'm doing well...


 

So yes, here are my pretty words,

Of someone doing extremely well

While in fact I am the worst case,

Of the sanitarium patients at all!


 

But I'm being protected,

By the messenger that is...

Darkness, O yes I love it,

But it's not who I am.


 

Opposites attract

I do love the dark side.

But evil I ain't yet,

Or I must be mad.


 

My soul is composed,

Of light and dark.

My soulmate is evil,

And I am good.


 

Being One and One,

Nyarlathotep I call.

But these two sides,

Are Yog-Sothis alive!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem written as a response on a comment.

End Moonlight, End Darkness - April 16, 2012

Folder: 
Chapter One

Up all night again, sick of yourself.

Short breaths plague the black captivity.

You wish it could be back to normal,

Or at least degrade to a lesser severity.

 

Previous occurrences have moon light blood,

Now all to feel is the soft red warmness.

Consciousness progresses further into night;

Ending in moonlight becomes end in darkness.

 

Thoughts infect, searing pain in my brain;

My tolerance but a memory now digressing.

I can't take any more, I'm going insane;

Madness dragging me down, always progressing.

 

Paranoia, an occurrence so often wanted gone,

Is raging in my mind like it never has before.

Thinking situations and conclusions so wrong,

I'm sick, done, not tolerating this anymore.

 

A handful of pills, a quick bullet to my brain,

Or maybe a therapist, to tell me I'm insane.

It's hard to go on when you're barely alive;

It's hard to live when you're never recognized.

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Game - March 29, 2013

Folder: 
Chapter One

Stuck in this chaotic madness,

I can't tell wrong or right.

I'm yet to see an end to this.

I'm yet to stand up and fight.

They held me down and made me hurt.

They showed my shame until it burned.

I cannot stop their hateful game;

they won't stop until my last day.

I'm so far away from home.

I'm trapped, desperate, alone.

It can't stay going their way.

I'm done with being lost prey.

I tear the key from their wretched hands,

I unlock my shackles and break free.

My heart's breaking, you leave it in strands.

All that's left is the shame inside me.

I stand in my prison cell, ready to fight

for my pride, my lust, my simple human rights.

I'm a person, deserving freedom too.

I am disgusted by the one they call "You".

I raise my fist, my rights, my pride;

I strike down the foe that deny my life.

I erase you from this cold society

in hopes you'll see that I've set you free.

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Yidhra The Witch

Folder: 
Dreams

Yidhra she came,

When I was insane.

Witch of the Old Ones,

Knowing the powers beyond.

 

She came for me

So the Old Ones can be free.

Preparing me

As a vessel for Thee.

 

The Druids tried to conceal me

In cloaks of pure red silk

But Yidhra could see through

And she did find me.

 

Only to bring one message:

The Old Ones will return...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A dream I had about the Cthulhu Mythos Deity Yidhra.