deceit

I AIN'T BLIND

I AIN'T BLIND

 

Since all the hate

Has resolved and died,

I can't seem to come up

With anything to write,

It was my escape goat

A way to be free,

Free from the 2 faced backstabbers

That seemed to surround me,

The days flew by

And, the months turned to years,

Haunted by my wrong-doings

Mishap's and fears,

And the other day 

I received another blow,

Did I have it comein?

I guess so,

Was it fair

Not by my score,

The way I see it 

Your the same trifilan whore,

That you was 

In 2010,

The same coniveing ass bitch

That pretended to be my friend,

You really are

A fine piece of work,

And in the game of deceit

You don't come up short,

That's for sure

Your magnificent in all your design,

Always prepairin for a counter 

And staying a step behind.

 
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tags:

Deceit

 
 
I thought I at least had her in this forsaken ghetto
Turns out she's been going out with my friend cuz I found a condom below her stilettos
What did I do to deserve this?
I thought our love was a bliss
Now I know she never meant not one kiss
On our past photos I fkn piss
All the wasted time on this bitch
I want to burn on her on a stake like a witch
 I'm tossing and turning in my bed
Repressed memories unleashed in my head
The only thing that can fix this is loaded 40 against my head 
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City of Dreams

Folder: 
Light and Dark

Welcome to the City of Dreams

All full of nightmares, daydreams, and schemes

Whatever you dream; it’s a wonderful theme

Whenever you want; you’re always the king

 

Lie down and sleep your pain away

Forget your past, forget the day

Here the only toil is play

It’s easy to come here, there’s many a way

 

Become the hero you wanted to be

Without actually being what you see

In this world only, can you be free

Stay with us, is our only plea

 

Be rich, be naughty

Be powerful, be haughty

Live in this dream, decaying body

No one will care if you’re a bit dotty

 

It’ll be too late, when you finally know

You’re not in control; was only a show

So just sit back, and go with the flow

While we take you to an all-time low

 

Down the rabbit hole

                Into the earth

                       Shadows will blind you

                                Now what was this worth?

                                                           Life is so fleeting

                                                                  Death is now eating

                                                                                    Living and dying

                                                                                             Laughing while crying

 

 

Fall into madness

    Can’t tell the difference

Between night and day

               Between real and fake

Between right and wrong

                       Between sky and cake

There is no difference

                                       Only existence

Nothing to do

 

 

But dream

 

 

 

The City of Dreams…

 

Welcome to The City of Dreams…”

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Liar, Liar

Folder: 
Just For Fun

Liar, Liar

On the wire

How soon till you fall

How long till you hit a wall

And every last lie

Will crash and die

Flames burn a hole

Into your soul

When you see the destruction

Of your construction

And you’re left all alone

Because of every lie you own

And when you wish that you were dead

Than hurt one hair on their head

For at last they can see through your lies

You can’t see the pain behind their eyes  

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What do you think will happen now?

what do you think will happen?
you lie to the ONE person you know you shouldn't
you say you love him and you don't
you see other men while you are "with" him
you continue your pursuit of your once secret relationships
relationships where deceit and lies are the foundation
relationships that think they are special to you

it didn't work for us
it won't work for someone else
you need to stop and take some time to yourself
and think about what will happen

you can't protect the feelings of those you care about
you can't use lies to heal
the truth eats away at you
and if you don't stop telling lies, it will consume you completely
and you will look back and see there is nothing for you
what do you think will happen?

it isn't true that not getting caught is things "working themselves out"
it isn't true to lead someone on, that they will be happy with that
it isn't true to sacrifice dignity for no ones sake is helpful to anyone in any way

what do you think will happen?
take the wheel and stop rolling dice
think about how it hurts them in the long run
think about being really nice
if you lie too much, you'll end up believing them too
isn't it a painful confusion to keep the stories straight?
how love for you turns into fear and hate?

try a walk without a report or an audience
try to have a dream and ask yourself what it means
try to listen when someone trusts you and shares with you
try to be honest even though no one really wants the truth
try to think about what it's like to be someone else
try, with the rest of us, to make Earth less of a living hell

what do you think will happen?
do you think you are invisible?
do you think everyone will swallow your pill?
do you think you've finally got your fill,
or do you have a lot more to dole?

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The messege of pastor Thomas to the followers of the realm

To what satisfaction do you seek, you children of lies, you false prophest of the false god?
To lie in the flith of his pleasure, to give in to the desires of the end of worlds;
what does it prophet you to seek the hand of the one desires your destruction?
For he cares not that your souls are saved, and yet you offer yourselves up to him and cry out to him daily in the streets and on the roof tops.
For your souls, you generation of decieved, I will pray to the one true God of my fathers.

your memory

i'm looking and searching
its no where to be found
i'm exhausted and its scorching
the burning love that was around
the flames have been tampered
with unpure tainted schemes
you let them put a damper
on our love which use to be
thriving with ambition and youth
something jealousy couldn't over look
missing like a child's tooth
its empty like a brand new book
how could something so precious
rapidly vanish so simply
a love so tender and luscious
die so easily
walking past souls confused
pleading for clues
but i'm left with a bruise
the memories of you being untrue

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abominable people

i'm writing these lines
to suppress something inside
that defines all my crimes
to control what i try to hide
every urge begins to cry
but i wipe my eyes
straying from being hypnotized
and find myself despise
all the treachery and the hate
the jealous and fake
between every word i say
the diabolical wake
they're planning and craving
hoping and waiting
praying for no one to save me
but lacking nimble needs
scornfully surrounding thee

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tags:

Self Reflections - a poem collection by CM

Me

Spider webs of deceit
A shattered mirror
Lays on the floor
Millions of reflections
Each one a copy
All of them a lie
Judgments made
By an invisible jury
The verdict comes in
Before a statement can be made
In self-defense
Can you fine me
Beneath all the artwork?
Can you fine me
Beneath all the poems?
Can you find me
Beneath all the facades?
Can you find me
At all?
You see a million reflections
In the mirror
That was shattered
In anger
Shattered with bare hands
Broken like my dreams
Broken like my body
Broken and buried
Six feet under
Only to keep things quiet
To make sure
The lies still exist
Can you find me
Beneath all the spider webs?
Can you find me
Buried underneath all the blocks?
Can you find me
Buried in this wooden box?
Can you find me
Behind the mirror?
Looking in on someone
I once knew

-

Nothing

Nothing holds for more
Than a moment
Constantly churning
The quiet noise
Walking along the shoreline
I almost forget
It’s there
I almost forget
Why
I’m here
The breaking waves lap
At my toes
I feel at peace
Centered
I can continue on
Again

-

Does it make a sound?

And sometimes we fall into ourselves
It doesn’t happen suddenly
The walls that are our defenses
Crumble inward
And sometimes silently we fall
Trapped within our own defenses
Unable to get out
And sometimes we breathe
And it hurts
For no apparent reason
Other than in our own minds
And sometimes we’re rescued
Before it happens
But sometimes we fall
Like a tree in the woods
When no one is around

-

Tainted Canvas
He greets me
With the same sly grin
I know his intentions well
Letting him play
The game
He thinks he knows
Letting him assume
Letting him believe
That he is the only
(he is for the moment)
My conscious tugs at me
Wanting me to tell
The ugliness that is my truth
Beneath the beautiful lies
I know it would hurt him
To know
I know it would kill him
Inside
So I let him believe
I let him run
With my beautiful lies

-

Jumbled Thoughts

Just breath
Feel the sand between your toes
Breathe in the air
Watch the sunrise/set
Watch the cars drive by
This is not the last
But watch as if it were
Soon it will be the last
The ocean will no longer crash
In the distance
Instead the peacefulness
Will be replaced by
Cars packed onto streets
Like sardines
The quietness comes
Driving down the canopied roads
That are quietly disappearing
As the bull dozers make room
For the next housing project
I will miss the sunrise/set
On the gulf
I will miss the sand
Between my toes
Trading my sandals, shorts and shirt
For something else entirely
Just breathe for now
It’ll seems too overwhelming
Otherwise

-

Cat-like State

Attitude
Yes I’m giving it
Because what’s what I’m getting
If you don’t want it
Then go away

-

Clam

You withdraw
So violently
You’re like a claim
When things
Aren’t going your way
When sand rubs
Against your shell
You collapse
Into your own
Little world
It’s a shame
You don’t open up
And let the
Sand in
You could possibly
Make a pearl
Something beautiful
Coming from you
Heaven forbid
You’ld let
Anything
In

-

Reminders

You will never
Be like the others
Pretty and well-liked
Your scars
Will never
Fully heal
They run too deep
And everyone can see
You’re only fooling
Yourself

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was the hardest collection to put together because not only is it more personal than the rest of the poems, but there was a lot to go through. There are a few poems raw with emotions and others more peaceful, but I wanted them together to create the different sides of me, sometimes angry, sometimes peaceful and other times reflective. Comments are welcome as always.

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