Sin

Vampire Weekend

Folder: 
Dark

Animal instincts kick in

Preying in the night begins

No beat to a drum dwelling within

Only raging needs, wild in sin

The need to feed tonight

 

Endangered kind making a change

Consuming handfuls with no shame

These teeth and claws have no range

The need to feed tonight

 

Glowing eyes see the coming dawn

Once a lively town vanished, gone

The need to feed tonight

 

Hidden until the moment is right

The need to feed tonight

back to black

nothing makes sense at night

even the colorful dreams are black and white lies

we sleep we sleep

no sound to take a rifle shot

we go somewhere

through something that looks like a fisherman’s net

we can’t fight

we have a hammer in our heart that beats only death sentences

smile

tomorrow will be an even bigger nothing

from which to learn putting an arm over the other

the lifting shoulders theory

 

I like to believe that blood in my veins is wine

that I can erase moon like an annoying mole on the breast

I like to believe that I can be gentle

when the winter replaces my wrists

I don’t share my darkness with nobody

not even poetry.

 

I’m like a bird which is always building the same nest

although it’s always destroyed by a broom

in my sleep my lord forgives me for all my sins 

and I pull these eyelids like blinds

and I pull my life like my mother’s dress

and more often when i shut up

it’s a problem

 

I am we are

children of fear

but there’s always a bed in which our memory gets wiped

and that is good.  

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Of Dreams and Lovers

Folder: 
Poetry

My lover knows my needs
she greets me in rose gardens
of the hidden recesses of my dreams
my needs she meets
when we greet under purple skies
we dance we forget we find sensual
trances in the flame of passion
lights the soul
the needs of the dreams of two lovers
who exist in the conscious who
lie in lust and dream somewhere between heaven
and hell...

Scattered Thoughts (I Struggle to Understand)

I Struggle to Understand

 

A mistaken event, but possibly the truth;

Which suspends the future in the unknown.

The transpiration results in alteration,

Of the one known path to be followed.

 

One cannot take back the so-called sins.

But remorse is not easily found in the heart, nor the soul.

Not even the mind can comprehend,

What lay in store for the confused.

 

A faithful night the words formed,

To possibly bring some solace, some freedom.

Yet there seems to be a pit of darkness,

That there seems to be no escape.

 

It is not to say that life is dangerous,

But to remark that mistakes are made.

For the person who decides fate

Is the one least likely to know.

 

What can be conveyed by physical means

Cannot be enough to spare life plans.

Previous visions dashed on a simple event,

One which causes the previous confusion.

 

What is regret and what is hate?

What is the thing so sought after?

An unspoiled poise so nearly attained

That shatters like so?

 

I do not speak mysteriously for a purpose,

Other than to maybe free myself.

But I know this must be lived with,

Regardless of my hopeful fears.

 

I cannot fathom what is beyond,

That is beyond the present.

I only see what lay ahead,

A road now rocky with misperception.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

To those who stumble across this: I ask only for prayers. I am not a relgious person and I am not a believer. Hope is what I need. I cannot ask for something that I cannot convince myself of its existance. I suppose I'm not sure of my needs. Is it advice? Hope? Prayer? I cannot understand; I struggle. I say please: for what, I do not know. Just please.
~~Thank You 

Hyrda

Mortal so he comes,

Be it not for his immortal crowned head,

Thorned upon the throes of man and beast.

His eyes fall upon the soul of Hadies world, 

Formed against decapitated ring heads.

 

Maybe his past soul fell among the rubble of distant times,

Punished by Zeus to see all gaze into his octopian eyes.

Every man fears his stare,

poisoned among those iris hollowed strong,

Like the holes of Christian feet,

Bleeding for eternity among the sin

Of what once was.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Based on the Greek Mythological creature the Hydra

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Silent sanctuary

so much I wish I could say but know I shouldn't utter a word.
silence is my sanctuary
haven't you heard? out of the whispers
a bleak void is what separates this voice from that choice to say
what would slice you up into oozing chunks of aching flesh
take your mind & contort the rest.
I am the bruise inside
the purple faded on pale rough skin.

 

when in doubt, i'll cut it out
all the pain within..
you may judge what I speak
but it'll come straight back to you.
your face is like a terrible sin
a memory that freezes me in between motion
crumpling my bones
suddenly everything gets so cold.

 

trust not what is seen
for it lies through gorgeous white teeth
& beautiful eyes, they undress you in vulgar ways
& ears that don't know what you mean.
& it feels as if theres a knife being pushed into your throat..
unable to escape.
only option left
is cry your heart out
in hopes of being saved

Temptation

It's like convo

Then our minds flow

Then I'm staring at the ceiling with my eyes low

Imaging how the time would flow

How is whine will go

Would my toes curl

Would my mind be blown

That temptation is an overflow

I don't underestimate 

Then those feelings grow

Now you're fighting with yourself

Torturing yourself

You lay back and you touch yourself

Saying it doesn't hurt to think about it

I just won't act on it

Stay away from it

Don't indulge

That is not what temptation does

It will consume you whole

Have you switching roles

Don't let there be conversation

That leads to temptation

Then you say fuck imagination

I want to taste him

Then comes the act

You be the sin

Now you cant wash that away

So confession is in

Inevitably you jumped in

Into that swam where you know you cant swim.

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My Alibi

Trial-
begins in a small corridor-like
Dim lighting-
flickers.
Swinging lanterns-
Their movements-
motions.
Wave-like.

Voices-
Blaring speakers.
Echoes through the halls.
Pictures of surrealist figures-
Dream-like emotionless pigments.
Figments.

Speculation. My crime?
A murderer of love.
Labeled as a heart breaker.
Destroyer of faith-
Emotionless.
Sang about-
Radio blues.
A cancer- 
Spread and penetrates the hearts of 
the naive.
Haunts the impressionable.
Hated amongst the mass.

The jury-
Shattered remains of loveless relationships.
A parade of emotionless shadows.
Love-sick.
In love alone-
Water soaked cheeks-
Tingling.
Numb.
Wrinkle as the sebum washes off their epidermis.
Tear stained.
Eyes dipped in burgundy molted lava.
They stare in disappointment.
Belligerent thoughts-
As they convict-
Blame-
Hate me.

Witnesses.
Recall the love.
His eyes brighten-
When I was near.
He held my hand.
Tightly.
Admiration-
Fascination-
Adoration.
So intense.
Mentally swooning.
My name adorned his.

I was the cause of his demise.
The reason why tears formed in his eyes.
I left-
He trembled.
Blood shed.
Useless-
Loveless-
A lifeless caucus.
Jaded-
Tainted-
Disturbed-
Swimming in a cesspool.
Belligerent rampages.
The once blue eyes that glittered in the sunlight.
Black-
Emotionless.
Lost-
Disabled.

In need of an alibi-
Looking to the ceiling-
in order to maintain a lie.
Exhausting every possible conclusion.
Clenching my fist-
"I wish he didn't exist."
As the courtroom throw their hands in the air.
"He stuck to me like glue-
a budding rose-
hands of a beggar."
He stared-
Eyes like daggers
As I continued.
"Depended like a child-
Emotions of a juvenile-
So close that he shared my air."

Chairs shifted.
My alibi?
Merely a confession.
My looks of deprivation- 
Just a symptom of my syndrome-
A heart breaker.
As the jury comes in
they tell me I'm guilty for my sins.
My sentence?
"How long will it take to mend his broken heart?"
As he utters-
" A life time."
Ice cold hand cuffs-
Suffocate.

Abandoned-
In a 12X12 room-
No sunlight-
No contact-
No emotions.
Left to think about my deeds-
As the reminders of his love-
pours downs my pale grey walls. 
Lost and filled with self pity.
My punishment?
Feel the sorrow the heart broken. 

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Overwritten Despondency

every breath I take is another mistake, each exhalation, lingering in this lonely space..
i'd love to just break down & cry.. but puff, pass, i'll let out another deep sigh.. 
the taste of your skin is like... pale sin.
& your smile as dead as the love that's spiraling downward into the drains of past content..
it filters out all the shit.
your eyes feel like daggers, when they're on me..
maybe that's why you can't truly see.. why do you even bother to criticize me.. why hasn't God set me free..?
 
like a fish, starving.. going in circles, de-sha-vu, I don't remember you..
but my intuition tells me otherwise.
an insect, hearing it's last words...
crushed, beneath the foot of mankind.. what sort of man is really all that kind..?
a bird, rattled in a cage.. shaken up.. absorbing rage..
being fed the scum that's left, to hold you sustained..
 
it's like not being able to turn to the next page..
& everyone keeps writing over the page i'm on, & telling me to read it once again.. & again.
until it's all scribbles, on top of one another.. it makes no sense..
you might as well be spitting on me... this is an overwritten despondency...