The Original Thought

The original thought was to be with you

Now im not sure what to do

Ever since I hung out with her

Now our love seems to be blurred

I can still feel it but it's really hard

Like its free and i'm behind bars

I love both of you and I don't wanna choose

Neaither one of you do I ever want to loose

I feel liked it's not up to me

You leaving is all I can see

I quit I dont wanna play this game

It's not your fault i'm doing this,i'm the one to blame

I know if I leave you things won't be great

Feels like my life will be cornered by hate

I know if I leave you things won't be the same

And once again i'm the one to blame

I'm the one to blame for these thoughts

It's not you Alyssa it's my fault

Dont know why I feel this way

I feel as if my veiw on life has changed

I now know life is a crazy thing

All this sh** in mine that happening

Thats the end,now I must go

You don't know who I choose?  I guess you'll never know

Fine i'll tell you, I feel better

No more dark clouds, I got better weather

I now know my life wont go down hill

I'm sorry Alyssa but i'm leaving you for Jill

Author's Notes/Comments: 

  I wrote this poem befor I decided to dump my girlfriend for my bestfriend Jill Carver

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The Closure to a Brand New Story

I want a closure

I want an ending

To this life full of pretending

I want a way out

I want to fade out

I want to talk to you again

I need a heart ache

I need an earthquake

Tear me down tear me out

I want you to know this is the end

To our little story

Of a girl who

Loved a guy and

They wanted eachother

But barely got by

Now he's a loser

She feels like a user

Why do they do this

Why do we always feel alone in the end?

I want to break out

I want to run far away

Take my hand

Take my heart

We can make it a brand new start

Total the mileage

The postage stamp due

Fill up the gas tank

I'm coming for you

I want a new sound

I want a new face

I need a new fight

And a modevation to get out of this place

I want a new car

To play the guitar

My drums are quite cool but

I feel like a fool and

Now I am gone

Give me time to be strong

I'll put the pedal to the medal

Be there at a quarter past 7

In the morning

Right when you wake up

I'll be where I want to

Out side of your house

Patiently waiting for you

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I just want to scream I have so much to say! I wanted to get all of that out, and although it may not make sence to you, it makes perfect sence to me and thats all taht really matters.  I just really needed to let taht out...I feel better now!

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How Do I Express?

Jeffery Williams

How do you,

tell someone,

you love them?

How do you,

express yourself,

who you keep dear,

to your heart?

I want to tell you,

how I feel,

but you instead,

you wish to choose,

someone else,

instead of me.

What does she have,

that I would not,

offer to you?

How do I express,

these feelings,

inside my heart,

to you?

How do I express,

my hearts desire,

to be with you?

The only way,

is through this ring,

the rest I guess,

is up to you.

I've expressed,

how I've felt,

for you,

now hopefully,

you will too.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem goes to 'Jeff'.

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The poetic convention plays on my mind

If there was a way I could find

To be a part of that majestic event

But alas the American Policy is crooked and bent

It weighs people by their culture and creed

Not by their nature nor by their deed

It has plundered innocents and evils alike

Has nurtured, hatred, intolerance and mutual dislike

Fuming and foaming its representatives speak

Showing no mercy for the sick and the meek

Is this what America stands for?

Air strikes, bombardments, annihilation and war

Polarization and intolerance to those whose faith

Is fraught with pure humility and love, nothing fake

Hypocrisy is the order at your levels too high

The nation in a paradox, can only sigh

To a land as such I dare not go

Sniffed, photographed and taken as a foe

Standing in utter nakedness, searched fibre to fibre

Any tell tale scar? Proving I am an atrocious tiger

For such a treatment, I seek your forgiveness

As I love you and mankind in all earnestness

So I refrain to attend the poetic convention

As the path offers only humiliation

It is the policy I condemn, not the nation

Whose hearts are alive, with love and affection

So read the message aloud and clear

Let the world be known and shed a tear

How an ordinary person was denied a chance

Because he bore the mark of a religious trance

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I was invited to attend the poetic convention in Philidelphia but with recent changes in the Geo-political scenario and the treatment metted out to Pakistanis and specially muslims at the airports in USA I have decided not to be degraded and humiliated and have therefore begged forgiveness of the organisers who wanted to honor me and are as innocent in this scenario as myself, yet this is how life is for those who want to enter America even if they have been invited with love and affection.I am all for a free and loving world but cannot and will not undergo such acts of disgrace. I love mankind and my religion teaches me "HAQOOQ UL ABAD" the rights of your fellow mankind.

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"Mother Dear"

I left from the prom,

with my girl by my side.

We were heading to a party,

I gave some friends a ride.

We got to my friends house,

and we had a blast.

We danced to the music,

and forgot about the past.

Everything was going fine,

until they served the beer.

I heard my concience say,

"Listen to your Mother Dear."

My mother would've said that moment,

to, "put it down and not to stay.

your life is so good right now,

that drink can throw it all away."

But at that moment I didn't care,

I took the beer instead.

I didn't believe that one drink,

could mess up my head.

After that one drink,

came numbers two and three.

My head started spinning,

I could barely see.

I started weaving back and forth,

and then my mind went blank.

My body became weak,

it went limp and just sank.

I stood up thinking nothing happened,

my eyes went back to clear.

I thought I was sober,

so I had no more beers.

The party went on,

and my body no longer weaved.

It was going on two o'clock,

so I thought it was time to leave.

My girl in the car,

and my friends too.

Everything was fine,

my mind was doing what it was suppose to.

But the one line became five,

and the five went to none.

All I heard was crash, bang, boom,

and then the noise was done.

I felt the heat on my skin,

and heard the siren ring.

My body was stuck,

and everytime I moved it would sting.

I felt something against me,

that was cold in all the heat.

It was the body of my girlfriend,

lifeless in the burning seat.

I remember my body being lifted up,

and then my eyes went black.

I wanted just one more chance,

I wish I could go back.

To do everything over again,

I wouldn't take the beer.

I would listen to my concience,

and my Mother Dear.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Dedicated to: My Mother Dear. I listen.

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Cry Under a Hollow Face

Though this life sometimes  

seems so fake at times

We all enjoy our lives

The best we know we can

I try not to fret

Try not to regret

Try not to show how it is I'm really feeling inside.

Never have I felt so naked

Standing fully clothed  

For you know my everything

All except this feeling of hurt

This feeling of not knowing why

For I take it just the same

To see my face you will see a hollow pain

Look into my eyes and tell me

That you think I am better off without you

It just doesnt work that way

So as for today

I'll let you slip away

Not because I want to  

But rather because you told me to

I just wanna cry

I think I'm gonna cry

Under muffled sobs of loneliness

All under a hollow face for you

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Writtin for someone special to me...someone who made me realize what it means to live and to love and to never give up.  

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I Never Could

*~ My Mother ~*

February 12th, 2004

Twisted and confused

And your so amused

You think you did nothing wrong

Anyone home, Hello, Ding Dong

When are you going to wake up

You made a life and never stepped up

You can never say that you cared

Nothing in common we shared

You think your funny

You dont need lots of money

You wont even try to love me

You wont let it come easily

You said that you need a life of you own

Should of thouht about that before you were prone

If you are gone, then your gone for good

Dont come back, to accept you again, I dont think I could

Author's Notes/Comments: 

When my mom left she told me that she didnt have the money to take care of us and that she needed to go out and make a life of her own. That statement from her made me so upset that I cried for a while, if she wanted a life of her own, why did she have kids?

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Focusing on me

i hate the world

and all their sympathy cries

their death-like stares

and arrogant sighs

they say im conceited

so what if i am

they think their words hurt me

but i rise above them

they try to take my flaws

and use them against me

i go to bat for them

and they turn against me

i dont really care anymore

but they wont just let me be

instead of trying to please them

i maybe should start focusing on me

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The Two Babylons

There are those weak and beggarly

Elements of the earth

The name of one is Christ-mass

And Easter, a second birth.

Now to the pagan world

These two were times of joy

One speaks of the yultide log

The other, of Babel's boy.

Their Mary by another name

Is but the Ashteroth of old

And 'her' baby Jesus

Is Bacchus of Satan's mould.

I am not a simpleton

But I've studied all the facts

The Church in olden times

Was deceived by pagan acts.

They took the pagan festivals

The statues and the fears

And deceived the Christian Church into

Keeping days, months and years.

So it is unto this day

Like Paul, I fear for them

But one day they will know the truth

As brave Tertullian did back then !!

Galatians 4:9,10

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Christians need to DECIDE, are they for the LORD or for pagan things ??

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