“Who is he?”

I whisper to myself

as your eyes gaze off to the distance

and treat me with the unbearable silence

I’m a little too late, I guess,

I hear your eyes scream, they confess

It is him who holds your heart

The one you’d rather hold your hand

Under the city lights

In a cold November night


But my love for you is greater than his.


So do the honor and list down the things

you so liked about him

Watch me burn myself with a pile of leaves

and reborn as him

Just let me be your light, your candle tonight

I can be him, your lover, if you like

I’ll cut my wrist, drain the blood my ancestors

passed on to me

Replace it with the words he whispers

when I’m not around

Let his words flow down my veins so you may speak

and tell me all the things you never say to me

Slit my throat with the screen of the phone you use

To capture his face, his smile, the perfection, your muse

Because you never even once

took a picture of me

— or maybe my image is just

too hideous for you to keep?

What strength of lens does he use, you say?

I can smash mine down if it’s not the same

Use the shards to peel off my skin I so badly hate

Blessed is he to have the kind that keeps you sane

I’ll unclench my claws I’ve spent years to build

Pull them out and mold me his hands and feet

Let the blood spritz all over the room

Let them spell: HERE LIES A HOLY FOOL,



Tell my mother I died a sweetest death

And I’ll be waiting in line in the Day of Resurrect

Pour out the gasoline all over my corpse for the final touch

Say a short Ignatian prayer before you strike the match

Watch my skin; watch my veins turn to ash, turn to dust,

as I’m enveloped and swallowed by flames

‘Cause I’m tired of fighting, I’m tired of asking,

“Who is Carl, baby? I’m James.”


From now on, call me Carl.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem about wanting and loving someone so much you are willing to turn yourself into someone else.

Dearly beloved

Dearly beloved we gather-


We introduce-

Ms. Heartbreak to Mr. Pain.


Her love deepens-

With every winked eye.

Her dilemma-

She loves it from every guy.

He has taken apart the love from her hands.

She cared to his wounds with words that-

She's woven.


Mr. Pain knows what he needs.

But, he caters to her pleads.

Beacause, she'll leave and dream-

Her lust will become obsence.

He knows the faster he falls,

The harder he'll crash.

He bites his lip-

Slocuhes down on the love seat.

This routine is mad.


Dearly beloved,

We gathered today.

The Reasons

The blinding-

blaring headlights in the window- that was the reason
The reason why I broke away from your embrace
Why I smeared the lipstick stains from my face-
Slammed my finger to your lips-
Wishing you didn't exist.
The reason why I whispered and pleaded for your silence.
For this scene soon turn violent-
As she parks the car.

The way she gathers my sons-
Hand to hand, stroking their blushing cheeks; light kisses upon their foreheads-

reassurance of unity-
That was the reason.
The reason why I pushed you to the floor-
Regretting our conversations -
You weren't worth the humiliation as you continue to grab for my attention.

The age progressing photos
Of my children shattered on the dwellings.

The eyes of my offspring-

their hands, ears, lungs, hearts and the oxygen they breathe- these are the reasons.
The reason why I warned you to leave before my commitment entered our abode. 
You start to resist as I ball up my fist-
Tension and silence result into violence.
I strike you once.
Erasing all of the broken promises- discrete gestures.
Subtle smiles.
Faint touches.
Reluctant stares.
Your screams-
Only make me angry.
"I told you to shut up."
As I grasp your neck.

Her smile as she caresses the gentle heads of my children.
The way she grabbed my hand while saying her vows.

That stare she gives when waking up by my side. That twinkle.
That twinkle is the reason.
The reason why I didn't stop when you gasped for air. 
The realization that she might leave-
Tighten my grip.
The footsteps of my children- light but pounding-
Mirror my heart beat.
Their little voices screaming my name- 
The reason why-
The reason why you'll never be found.
A mistress that I've had my all.
Just a memory.
Never to be thought of again.
As I enjoy my reasons-
The reasons why you no longer exist. 

View evietravieallie's Full Portfolio

Brotherly Betrayal

I took my foot and kicked her out the door.
My wife decided not to be faithful anymore.
It really shocked and upset me when she took a lover.
I was enraged when I learned that it was my brother.
I treated her really good, just like a queen.
What those two did to me was obscene.
I wasn't just betrayed by one loved one, I was betrayed by two.
Packing her bags and kicking her out was something I had to do.
Now she and my brother are expecting a child.
When I think of it, I see red and nearly go wild.
My nephew will be a symbol of how I was betrayed.
I can't stand to live near them, I'm going to move away.
What those two did to me was a horrible sin.
When I leave, I never want to see them again.

Author's Notes/Comments: 


View randyjohnson's Full Portfolio