“Who is he?”

I whisper to myself

as your eyes gaze off to the distance

and treat me with the unbearable silence

I’m a little too late, I guess,

I hear your eyes scream, they confess

It is him who holds your heart

The one you’d rather hold your hand

Under the city lights

In a cold November night


But my love for you is greater than his.


So do the honor and list down the things

you so liked about him

Watch me burn myself with a pile of leaves

and reborn as him

Just let me be your light, your candle tonight

I can be him, your lover, if you like

I’ll cut my wrist, drain the blood my ancestors

passed on to me

Replace it with the words he whispers

when I’m not around

Let his words flow down my veins so you may speak

and tell me all the things you never say to me

Slit my throat with the screen of the phone you use

To capture his face, his smile, the perfection, your muse

Because you never even once

took a picture of me

— or maybe my image is just

too hideous for you to keep?

What strength of lens does he use, you say?

I can smash mine down if it’s not the same

Use the shards to peel off my skin I so badly hate

Blessed is he to have the kind that keeps you sane

I’ll unclench my claws I’ve spent years to build

Pull them out and mold me his hands and feet

Let the blood spritz all over the room

Let them spell: HERE LIES A HOLY FOOL,



Tell my mother I died a sweetest death

And I’ll be waiting in line in the Day of Resurrect

Pour out the gasoline all over my corpse for the final touch

Say a short Ignatian prayer before you strike the match

Watch my skin; watch my veins turn to ash, turn to dust,

as I’m enveloped and swallowed by flames

‘Cause I’m tired of fighting, I’m tired of asking,

“Who is Carl, baby? I’m James.”


From now on, call me Carl.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem about wanting and loving someone so much you are willing to turn yourself into someone else.

Psysped's picture

Great cohesive flow! I was

Great cohesive flow! I was worried until I read that you wrote it in January. Embrace life's challenges because that is how we grow.

ginsywilde's picture

thank you very much! yes, I

thank you very much! yes, I was going through a lot when I wrote this poem. I'm still struggling nowadays but I am still holding on to the hope that it gets better.

Morningglory's picture

Sounds like it. Been in that

Sounds like it. Been in that kind of position before. Dark times for sure. Hope you are better these days!!

Copyright © morningglory

ginsywilde's picture

Thank you. I wrote this poem

Thank you. I wrote this poem last January. Thankfully, indeed I am better nowadays than when I wrote it.

Morningglory's picture


 Pretty dark and twistedly intense read, man. Wow. When the one you love loves somebody else. Painful stuff. Nice to see your work. It Has been a while. 

Copyright © morningglory

Miiranda31's picture

Agreed, it's bittersweet,

Agreed, it's bittersweet, twisted (in the beautifully dark way), and full of sacrafice. 

Push thru these days, and grow to live another life on the physical plane. There's so much to live for. Resurrect. 

ginsywilde's picture

Thank you for reading. This

Thank you for reading. This poem conveys a very painful and dark moment in my life.