"Judge Me"

by Jeph Johnson

Judge me. 

I don't mind being judged.

If people didn't judge me, I would question whether or not what I am doing had much merit.


Judge me.

I don't mind being judged. 

That way I can judge whether or not you have good judgment. 


Judge me.

I don't mind being judged.

What I hate is being misjudged.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2010, 2017 

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Silent sanctuary

so much I wish I could say but know I shouldn't utter a word.
silence is my sanctuary
haven't you heard? out of the whispers
a bleak void is what separates this voice from that choice to say
what would slice you up into oozing chunks of aching flesh
take your mind & contort the rest.
I am the bruise inside
the purple faded on pale rough skin.


when in doubt, i'll cut it out
all the pain within..
you may judge what I speak
but it'll come straight back to you.
your face is like a terrible sin
a memory that freezes me in between motion
crumpling my bones
suddenly everything gets so cold.


trust not what is seen
for it lies through gorgeous white teeth
& beautiful eyes, they undress you in vulgar ways
& ears that don't know what you mean.
& it feels as if theres a knife being pushed into your throat..
unable to escape.
only option left
is cry your heart out
in hopes of being saved

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

She stares at me with intense distaste.
I soak in her scrutinizing judgment
As our eyes lock.
A dolorous sobbing begins in her throat
And slowly creeps upon her face as her brow furrows.
Her eyes look on with a new potency;
All hatred has left the cloudy blue spheres,
And in its place a sickening anguish.
Her bleak eyes plead with me for help.
Just as my mouth opens for reassurance
a laugh escapes her lips and her eyes drop to the floor.
Cheerfulness envelopes her body as she cries out with laughter.
I begin to smile back at this playful new friend,
But again I see her eyes.
I helplessly stare into the threshold of her scars and sorrows,
Wishing to once more only see her pseudo-happiness.
Her smile widens,
Knowing I’ve seen past her façade.

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The cliffs bottom seemed endless,
Standing at the edge,
The first time in my life I thought about ending everything.
Staring down gave me butterflies,
But at this moment it didn't really phase me.
All I had been through,
What I had seen,
Feeling like the heavens were calling for me.
Or was it hell?
It all felt the same,
All I know is that the feeling is strange.
Not saying goodbye to anyone,
So selfish,
Thinking how I'd be the guardian angel for the ones who loved me.
Then I took a step back,
Reconsidering my judgment,
I awoke on my bed knowing that wasn't my style.
Ending it all just isn't the thing to do,
The pain was horrendous and wretched,
But going through it for you was all worth the while.

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