The Joke, was on Remy, and on Altair

The Joke, was on Remy, and on Altair

I am Altair
A person with a story
A story of tragedy
He’d like to share

I remember it, as me and Remy
Would share our laughter
As kids, as fools
We’d talk, we acted like we knew

I remember it, as we walked around
Ran around in playgrounds
Sharing our innocence
Feeling pure, and blessed

Such love it was, being free
Being caught in the beauty of life
Not wondering how, or what
By letting everything, just be

We both lived, as brothers on a farm
Messed around with cows, irritated sheep
Caused farmers to bring out their guns
As we ran away, as silly children

We’d garden the fields, feed the animals
Go with our fathers, run boring errands
Feel the breeze of life, with its ups and downs
Embrace what was given, and just move forth

We always would ask, to discover more
We’d seek and explore, way outside
We’d see and behold, mysteries way out
We’d feel and dance, with the joys around

I remember it, as we never really cared
Never clung to anything, never defended anything
We let all go free, with only present to greet us
With only the now, to raise smiles

Then that day came, when we had to part ways
When each of us, had to take on the world
See things in our own light
View things from new tales
Then that day came, when we went our own
Went off to venture into different parts
Of the globe, different areas
To build our own thoughts, own insights


So off I went, off to another place
I ventured off as a grown man, to see things anew
Alone I was, in this world caught with mystery
With the hymns of the past, to keep me pondering

Across a man I came by, whose name was Aaron
A liberal smile on his face, he showed me around town
We went on together, shared thoughts and ideas
We talked and laughed, and saw things in a new light

‘This world is a mystery, none can ever know
What shall come by, of friends and foes
Of what shall be, as time goes by
Of the bird’s wild paths, up in the sky’
He told me

‘Things are random, never hold on tight
Look within for power, to battle your fights
Seek what’s rational, through beauty of the unknown
Where you only reap, of what actions have sown’
He told me

I let go, I remember
Of all I thought was true
I knew less, held on less
Let things be, more and more

‘Your life is short, live it up to your last
Live it with heart, yet not too fast
Let none put out your fire, no one around
Figure out beauty, that never was found’
He told me

I was less heartless, with each word
He lit things up, gave things a meaning
Out of the ultimate meaning
That truth shan’t be found

‘You clock is ticking, let your heart speak its words
Despite the rules, that may come down in herds
Your eyes should see light, once more my friend
Before it all comes down, right to the end’
He told me

‘Don’t be afraid to fail, or endure great tragedy
Only when you fall, will you face, reality
It’s okay to be afraid, to taste true fear
Just hold on to love, till it deems life clear’
He told me

I stayed with Aaron, we shared our times
As we witnessed nature and its offerings
We were open to all, closed to none
We were free of voices, free to run

---------- --------------

Remy went his own way, in his own parallel world
Where experiences were shifted, to his own perspective
To what he saw, lived, and heard
To what he felt, breathed, and learned

He met a companion, of a different sort
His skin was keen, his face was firm
Confidence filled him, leaked from his face
Certainty filled his smile, every last trace

They spent their days together, sharing thoughts and ideas
Heeding each other’s lessons, listening to each other’s stories
They spent their days as so,
With time to keep things changing

‘What a beautiful sky that is’ Remy said with life
‘God surely is gracious’ said Randal
‘What a clear and brisk ocean’ Remy said with joy
‘God surely is All-Powerful’ Replied Randal

‘What a mystery life is, Randal’ Remy said with awe
‘Surely God, is All-Knowing’ Randal Replied
‘What beauty art has in its nature,’ Remy said with shine
‘Surely God, is the source of beauty’ Replied Randal

‘What a dream this life really is’ Said Remy with passion
‘Surely God, has made it for a reason’ Replied Randal
‘What a beautiful thing love really is’ Said Remy with open eyes
‘Surely God has made love a reality’ Said Randal

‘What am I going to do, If I fall, my dear Randal? Asked Remy with sorrow
‘God will pick you right back up, put you on path’
‘What will happen, if I lose my path, my sweetest Randal?’ asked Remy with confusion
‘Surely, it is tribulation, from All-Mighty God’ replied Randal

‘What am I to do, if I see things dark, my beloved Randal?’ asked Remy with an open heart
‘God will always light it up, back once more.’ Replied Randal
‘What am I to do, if too many questions, are left unanswered?’ asked Remy, with the last genuine tear dripping down
‘All the answers lie, within the word of God’ Replied Randal

So off they went together, pious and sure
That they shall be saved, now and after
Sharing thoughts, to strengthen beliefs
And carrying on, with now fake laughter

------- ---------

We met again, in some hot summer day
When the heat would provoke anyone, to stir up frustration
We met, saw eye to eye, once more
With lenses that have been altered, by the curves of life

We sat and talked, shared recent pasts
Sat together, let conversations pass
We were joined again, somehow and somewhere
We kept each other company, we sat by the ocean

‘What a beautiful thing it is, to see afar into the ocean’ I said with joy
‘Surely, God is All-Capable, to make it as such’replied Remy
‘What a wondrous feeling it is, to taste the flowing breeze’ I said with zeal
‘Surely, God is able, to inspire us beings’ Remy said

I looked into Remy’s eyes once again
No longer did I see him
Or his innocence
It was masked

‘What a lovely life it is, to enjoy the whims of rain’I said with a smile
‘Surely, God is the breeder, of all water, of all things that breath’replied Remy
‘What a wonderful blessing it is, to embrace the dynamics of our surroundings’ I said with power
‘Surely, God is the bringer, of all blessings’replied Remy

I gazed at Remy’s smile
No longer did it light
But it was stiff, stern
As if being pulled to smile

‘What a miraculous thing it is, to enjoy the sounds of the ocean’
‘Surely, Altair, miraculous comes only by God’s leave’
‘What an astounding mystery it is, the origins of all spirits’I said with fervor
‘Surely, God is the beginning, and the ultimate end’Replied Remy

I studied the reactions of Remy
No longer did they seem his own
But rather a repetition, a sequence
Of several emotions, not from his heart

‘What a beautiful joke this life is, it’s humor and laughs’I said with innocence
‘Surely, God put us here to see a straight path’Remy replied
‘What a sweet darkness the night shines upon us’I said with a sense of poetry
‘Surely, God has lit up the darkness, with his light’Randal Replied

I took another glance at Remy’s eyes
But no matter how much
He may have spoken of light
I knew, I saw, that there was none, in his eyes

‘You seem to have it all figured out,
Why are you alive?
You believe you’ve seen it all,
Why are you still breathing?
You think you’ve found everything,
Why are you still striving?
You assume it’s all given,
Then what do you have left to give, my dear brother?’
I said, in an infinitely sad tone

I remember his reaction
As he gave this smile
As broken as it was confident
Lifeless as it was proud

He slowly walked away
Thinking it was he who was righteous
That he was the guided
And blessed with revelation
He slowly left me
With his head held high
His walk set strong
Covering him, false light

With swollen eyes
I looked at the skies, or the hovering heavens
‘If only he’d seen’ I so deeply thought
‘That the joke, was on him’

I'm a Jew

“I'm a Jew”
The first time I said it
it caught me off guard
Why? Because it wasn't hard.
I'm not mikvahed or bat mitzvoted
But I know G-d's call
Saying “I'm a Jew” doesn't bother me at all
It's like saying my own name
it just rolls off my tongue
And for once I know that THIS PATH,
this path is the one.
G-d, I ran away from you,
so far, so fast
I hated how You were represented in my past
I didn't want to be Christian,
just do as I was told
Now I know why,
You blessed me with a Jewish soul.
Now I'm praying in Hebrew
I can CH with the best of them
My tongue remembers the Yiddish
that was stolen away from it
Now I cover my hair
I wear my tichel with pride
And I'm keeping Shabbos
Lighting the candles on friday night
I'm a Jew in my heart
And that's really all that matters
I'm a Jew, Mazal Tov!
And I couldn't be Gladder.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I plan to do a Spoken Word performance of this for YouTube. I will link it here when I do. :D

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let there be light


Said let there be light,
Our Almighty Creator,
Is that God or Man?

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Lyric to "I Only Know New York From the Movies"

This is a song about the limits of human perception and the stories that people make up to explain the unknown. I hope to record this song within the next couple of months.

I only know New York from the movies,
A fraction of what's there is seen by me,
What the camera doesn't show, I doubt I'll ever know,
And to step outside the frame can never be.

I only know New York from the movies,
As I only see the world through human eyes,
I understand there will be things I'll never understand,
But I understand your story's laced with lies.

Beyond what you can see,
Beyond what you can feel,
Beyond what you can know,
Why pretend?
Why pretend?

I only know New York from the movies,
I can only sing of Queens in scales I've heard,
So this G major key gives an alphabet to me,
That limits and constrains my final words.

Beyond what you can see,
Beyond what you can feel,
Beyond what you can know,
Why pretend?

Why pretend? The Atlantic Ocean was created on day one,
Perhaps the Upper East Side on day two.
Why pretend? Day three saw the streets of Brooklyn rise out of the bay
Then the stars you rarely see were made for you.
Why pretend? Day five saw the pigeons and the gulls that fill the air,
And things that in the murky Hudson swim.
Why pretend? On day six the first man and first woman from his rib,
Went forth and filled the city to the brim.
Went forth and filled the city to the brim.

I only know New York from the movies,
But I might describe a street, a house, a tree.
It seems my mind is free, but all my thoughts are born from,
What I can sense and words bequeathed to me.

Beyond what you can see,
Beyond what you can feel,
Beyond what you can know,
Why pretend?
Why pretend?

The stars you rarely see were made for you. Why pretend?
The stars you rarely see were made for you. Why pretend?
The stars you rarely see were made for you. Why pretend?
The stars you rarely see were made for you. Why pretend?

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He Is Me

The sun is bright as ever, washing me in bands of heat, I'm hanging in the air as nails impale my hands and feet,
I know that I am dreaming on some night I'm deep in sleep, I'm dreaming that I'm Jesus, I am Him and He is me.

The pain is unlike anything I've ever felt before, I hear some scream for blood while I hear others yell for more,
they have me on what looks to be a wooden crucifix, my body's like the letter 'T', you should envision this,

but me I feel the horror from the beatings that they gave, while some would call it torture, I endured it just to save,
humanity's descendants but my name is used in vain, I feel my life is draining as my head descends in shame.

I perservered for many hours, 9 to be exact, to witness this would render all your mentals non-intact,
just picture me a moment, on the cross between 2 thieves, they broke their legs and knees but they did not do this to me.

I smell a scent and think of death, it's all inside my mind, I'm shrouded as I die but I will surely have my time,
for 3 days later here I am, I died to rise again, atoning for the sins of all the women and the men.

The children of this world should comprehend the very role, I play inside of daily life to save their very soul,
just look at modern day events, the evidence is clear, no need for me to verify the end is very near.

Some folks will think of church, that very thought will make them hurt, well ponder the alternative, there're some who'll make it worse,
while yes I love the lot of you, my children one and all, you need to make it better otherwise you're gonna fall.

I wake up in my bed amidst a startle, oh I'm safe, I race into the bathroom and the mirror shows my face,
I wipe the sweat realizing everything that seems to be, that ALL of us are Jesus, we are Him, and He is me.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

This effort was based on a dream I actually had where I witnessed Jesus being crucified.

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Outstretched arms to hold you,
during troublesome trials to mind.
Watcher of keep - by your side -
sent from Heaven, as God defined.

From humble whispers in a prayer
beneath a halo - an aura of light.
Shimmered glory in Kingdom's grace,
seeding easement - for inner plight.

In caring folds of an angel's wings,
falling teardrops - stayed to eyes.
Summoned calm for abounding woe,
attendance quiets- anguished cries.

Granted by - the face of faith,
compassion served by loving hands.
Created form, through Holy will,
ever near - your guardian stands.

© C.E.Vance

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Secular Butterfly

A butterfly came floating by,
mocking the caterpillar's crawl.


"Your slowness makes you food for birds,
you'll never last through fall.
The time it takes to eat your leaves,
brings death upon your door.
My brittle wings make me elite,
you're destined for the floor.
For only if you knew my ways,
The joy that life would bring.
Your simple nature curses you,
Your sorrows I must sing."


The caterpillar lifts his head,
and says unto the sky,

"I beg you for your mercy lord,
I love the butterfly."


The butterfly looks down below,
and utters in return,


"You're wise to put your faith in me,
you still have much to learn.
You have no need to worship me,
and keep your simple plan.
It only labels you a fool,
care not how life began.
It's true I'm free to roam the earth,
not waste my time with you,
but I want to save your life,
by changing what you do."


The caterpillar shakes his head,
and says to his new friend,

"It is not you I'm talking to,
but my savior 'til the end.
Until you know how life began,
your ignorance is bliss.
Until you know your vital source,
your purpose you will miss.
I'd take this time to talk with you,
and teach you His good word.
Your focus stayed with me too long.
At least you fed that bird."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'm not very religious, but I respect religion as the foundation of free societies today. Without the foundation that religion spent centuries creating, we would not even have the freedom and comfort to be so anti-religious today, as many secularists seem to be. Therefore, while religion may not work for you, I caution you to respect its awesome influence on humanity, to prevent destroying what it has worked so hard to create. Without the caterpillar sacrificing his life, there would be no butterfly.

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You said it yourself, "Words don't mean a thing. It's actions I need to see."
If I could only show you the way that you showed me…

I'd need to take the I love you's away.
I'd need you to promise forever, without knowing I'd ever stay.
I'd sleep with you every night, and break up with you every day.
I'd tell my family you're crazy for getting upset about things.
I'd yell if you hate my friends that say they fuck me in their dreams.
I'd punch you in the face if you ever accuse me of anything.

Last, but not least, I'll mail you back your ring.
I'll leave you voicemails, with no way to contact me.
The reason- "I changed my mind about sex, it's a sin."
That's what I'll email you in a month, and to let you know I fucked my best friend.
Tara, you don't deserve the details. It doesn't matter, I'm never talking to you again.

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Is this death?
I'm consciously aware, yet, half-minded.
I can't fight this oppressive hue, it's so debilitating.
It's been hours... it's been days...
It's been weeks... it's been months...
It's been years... it's been centuries...
It's been… minutes?

I'm trying to run, but I just feel still.
Isn't it ironic that irony exists here too?
As sleep sets in, my world fades to black.
No one here to help, no God here to heal.
This is it. This is my fate.
I'm too many Sundays too late.

Just as I prepare to let go,
I awake to my text message tone.
I walk up to the casket one last time, all alone.
It's over, and I have to leave.
Dad, I hope you rest in peace.

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