Hun i know you care but i cant take no more
You treat me so nice but when i know the real you it hurts
I know you got Girlfriends ,how do you expect me to believe you actually love me
You use how i feel against me i always wish u to leave
but when u do it haunts me
I cant stand to talk to u
but i hate to be with out contact to u
im done with you
when i rlly just wanna hold u
i dont understand whats wrong with mee
Is all around me,
like ice that cuts to the core,
shivers of emptiness,
so much love to give,
but only Solitude answers my call ....
We could of been so good,
I opened to you like a rose pedal,
and you cut me like thorns,
as if I had no meaning ....
These tears fall and wont stop,
my tender heart once again broken,
Solitude my only companion and foe,
You, you will never know ....
I see your eyes, hear your voice,
but only Solitude remains true,
I wish you truly knew,
how completely I could of loved you,
held you so close with a true heart,
Yet only Solitude remains steadfast ....
I wish you peace, joy and happiness,
all the treasures it seems I'll never know,
my constant companion Solitude,
my friend heartbreak,
my meal emptiness, my cup thirst ....
You looked past my beautiful rose petals,
never touched or smelled my true sweetness,
letting the thorns get in the way,
an excuse to run and hide from true beauty ....
When will this Solitude cease,
My pain stricken heart know peace,
my heart fill with gladness,
the tears no longer flow? ....
When will my hero walk into my eyes,
tenderly embrace my broken pain,
fill me with happiness,
quench my thirst, and feed my hunger? ....
Until then I walk in Solitude,
I awaken to Solitude,
Solitude my only friend and companion,
my sole banquet, my bitter cup of wine ....
2:01 PM 9/18/2011Copyrights 2011-2016
Chicahuac Necahuatl
You love is a lie.
Why else would i cry?
Why do i try?
Your not worth my time. 3
Rip my heart out already!
I can't bear the pain anymore.
I thought I was strong enough
I thought this misery I could handle
Yet, today I find myself completely wrong
I can’t endure a single hit of your indifference.
Kill me now!
Life without you is incomplete
Don’t hesitate
This is what I need, this is what I want
You two are soul mates
Meant for each other
And I’m just a piece of shit
Following you around.
You broke my world and my soul
You luxuriate in their flavor
At once ate the pieces
Yet they yearn for your company
Why does my love for you keep increasing?
I’m a masochist.
Are you delighted to watch me suffer?
Do you enjoy my screeches of grief?
Do you find pleasant the sight of my endless tears?
Thank you for your neglect,
Thank you for your dismissal.
My world swiftly collapses
My sanity level relapses.
I’ve lost my reason
And in exchange I’ve gained madness.
Where is my “Get Out of Hell” ticket?
You must have torn it apart,
And with it the pulse in my heart.
Stranded on the island of torture
Feeding on pieces of shattered glass
Drinking from the fountain of torment,
My life is living hell.
Compared to you I am worthless
I have as much dignity and gracefulness of a crawling rat
I’m just that pitiful wounded dog
That you keep kicking and can’t stop.
It’s been a long while
Since I’ve carried a smile
You robbed me it
And gave me grief
You lowlife thief
I was cursed to rot and burn in hell’s deepest pit.
That’s where you told me to go
But I’ll meet you there
‘Cause you’re mundane and wicked
Just so you know.
I keep having nightmares at night
When the sun goes down
And everything gets dark
I wake up in sobs
Turn to fetal position
And cry myself back to sleep
This hole you dug up, for me, is just too deep.
I can’t see anything down here
There’s no light
Or hope
Or life.
It’s just me
And my demons
Haunting my very being.
I’ve lost my will to live
I’m slowly letting go of life
Without you by my side
Is just impossible to survive.
My heart stopped beating
It stopped living
Then how can I still touch and walk?
How can I still breath and talk…?
I left and came back again
In a stupid way
I love the feeling of pain
I wait for my eyes to open someday
It’s something I need
To live without you
Otherwise my heart will continue to bleed
I’ve forgotten what’s true
By believing all the lies.
If you are the devil
Then steal my soul
For you I’d happily burn in inferno’s deepest hole
When people tell me you’re a mistake
I tell them not to correct me
Because all I ask is for you not to neglect me
I’ve followed your path
So don’t tell me to go a different direction
When all I ask is for you to give me all your affection
Have you ever loved something that isn’t yours?
It’s harder than it looks
It’s something you can’t learn
Because love isn’t a subject found in books
You have to experience it
And enjoy it
And then suffer and cripple
Get back on your feet
Wait, rinse, and repeat.
It hurts just to think
I see your face in my mind everytime I blink
I can’t help but to hide in the dark
Not wanting to be talked to or seen
I put walls around my heart
You don’t know how hard it’s been.
In the corners,
On my pillow
I endlessly cry
Shedding tears of blood
Wondering if the pain I carry is strong enough to die.
Yet, I keep making the same mistake
When I was already replaced.
I keep wanting more
Your face I got to adore
And I don’t want to let you go
I wish I could forget
To have never known
What it’s like and how it feels
To love an addictive person like you
But one day I won’t love you anymore
I will have moved on
And let things fall where they belong
Because although we seemed right
We are different in the things we do
And one day when I sleep at night
A single tear won’t be shed for you.
Tears come so easy
Everyday we don’t talk
And I know the reality of it
I know they’ll keep falling
Until we next talk
You know that I love you
As you do love me
But my tears come easily
Till we see each other
Until you see me
So until that day comes
It will be a downpour
Of my tears that is
Until that day you see me
Then I will soar
~Chrystal
Written on
May 13, 2011
Tear me apart from limb to limb
For thees tears are tearing my heart apart.
So many day,week, months and years we havebeen apart.
Lost to each other
But still there in each others hearts
Unspoken and untouched
Left to be foregoten but never lost
a deep desire
That brings tears and tore hearts apart
Throughout live I yearned for you
Seeking your touch, you wisper in my ear
A simple good moring my dear
But this love eludes me, us in every way
And there you are
My love my life
You found me in hell
Want me to be your wife
But we can’t seem
To float let alone swim
But why not
I always did it with them
I fear I’m dying
Drowning in unshed tears
Shivering and scared
Unspoken fears
Why can’t we make it
Why can’t we fly
Why when I find love
Am I doomed to die?
~Chrystal
Written on
February 2, 2009
Looking through
Unshed tears in my eyes
I finally see the result
Of my cheating and lies
He’s walking away
On the longest walk of his life
The stretch between me
And were no longer husband and wife
The wound created by mine own hand
Runs straight through my heart
To know what I’ve done to you
It literally tears me apart
I would give my life
For true forgiveness
Yet death would be to easy an end
No, let me live with the pain of all this
~Chrystal Swallows
Written on
October 6, 2004