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A Better Place, A Better Time
I glanced to see your empty seat not far
away from mine. I did not know you well
before your name marked every mind. I got
the news my freshmen year at Aries’ end.
The open casket frightens me, a fear
to peer inside. Depression lurks and maims
the ones we love, no way to say goodbye.
The cries I heard your mother make in words
I can’t describe. Your close best friend, a friend
Of mine, still thinks of you in times of light
and shade; He sits and waits for you to call:
the promise made, be kept today. I learned
from you don’t hesitate. To think of dreams
you’ll never have or places never seen,
I missed the chance to know your truth and who
you want to be. But now I see for me
to be the who I want to be; I must
help those like you live on, it’s not your time
to leave.
Nice work!
A poem for those we lost to soon. Nicely Put! Never thought to use zodiac signs "Aries end" I like this!
It is interesting to read how
It is interesting to read how suicide effects even those not close to the person. It highlights just how terrible it is for the closest people. When someone suffering from deppression believes they 'will not be missed', you just wish they could understand their importance to us all.
My mother was a rainbow
My father turned her grey
they loved me like a sky lantern
they watched me fly away
Thank you for your reading,
Thank you for your reading, the poem does reflect a portion of how I feel as well as many peers of the time.
I really enjoyed this write.
I really enjoyed this write. It was inked brilliant! It brought to I the reader of your write a feeling of relate the feel of losing oneself (guilty) as when I do lose identity I push people closest to myself away (no answer) of why? with that stated it is always such in pleasure to come along and read such view in my eyes and heart to say thank you much respect and I have a few thinks to change. (Yes I meant thinks) take care.
Cherie!
Poetess Chantelle Cherie
Thank you
Thank you for reading and I am so happy you enjoyed this piece of my art!
As somebody who lost a great
As somebody who lost a great friend at 17 to suicide, your words express a great amount of respect and integrity. Like you said, even if you didn't know the person all that well, you've made the decision to accept the responsibility of helping those in similar dismay to discover their self-worth, and that's very noble. Welcome to the site, keep writing, and I wish you the best. Take care
This also happened to me 5
This also happened to me 5 years ago as a high schooler and it really did impact me and our class very deeply. I think mental health is an important issue to address and destigmatize for youth to really feel comfortable to seek help. Thank you for your warm wishes and you time dedicated to reading and responding. Enjoy your day!
Very deep
I like your poem. It's very deep. There was one line that didn't have a line rhyming with it. I think it ended with the word, end. You might want to look at that. And you may want to form your poem in stanzas with four lines and go a b a b, instead of paragraph form. Other than that a great poem. Thanks for asking me to read it! I have posted quite a few poems on here myself. If you could read a few and give me a review I would love to hear what you think!
Thank you!
Thank you so much for the feedback. That line was a struggle for me to figure out the proper measure. It's actually written in iambic pentameter which is why it is in the form it is. I did choose loose, slanted rhymes to give a sense of an additional rhythm within the lines not just at the end. I'm still working out an edit for that third sentence so thank you for noting it! I wll read one of yours very soon! Happy writing :)
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depression is a hard one to battle and perhaps harder for our loved ones to understand. This writing is heartbreaking on so many levels. I'm certain others can relate. I know I do. Esp like the last lines.
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Thank you
I very much enjoyed to hear your reading and response to the topic. It is a very controversial and personal topic which is why I thought it important to post here. Cheers!