Your Self-Esteem is Not My Responsibility

DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO


I am Dominant. I like control. But I cannot control you. In a scene I strive to dominate you masterfully. But regardless of how submissive you are, in everyday life or in BDSM play, you still ultimately control you.


I don't Top to heal you (in fact, oftentimes I Top to hurt you). I Top to bring healing excitement to me. If you need healing, that is your responsibility.

I don't Top to renew you, I Top to bring a sense of accomplishment and renewal to myself. If you need renewal, that is your responsibility.


I don't Top to change you, I Top to improve my skills and grow in my expertise and learn new ways of thinking and acting. If you want to change, find it in yourself to change.


I don't Top to bring you out of your depression, I Top to have fun and by having fun I personally avoid depression.


In truth, I don't control or "dominate" anyone but myself. If you choose to submit to what I want, all the better. It can be very enjoyable for both of us!

I used to think I could be the wellspring of a woman's renewed self-esteem. So enamored with this ideal, it almost became a fetish. It was a thrill to believe I could be the catalyst for a woman's joy, healing, renewal and ultimate change.


But really, I can't change anyone else... but myself.


It took a lot of painful trial and error for both me and my partners for me to realize that a broken person doesn't need me to fix her, she needs simply a comfortable environment for her own healing and renewal to happen.


Maybe I can provide that environment for someone. Maybe not. I am a pretty complex and amazing person. But I no longer aspire to compromise myself to become anyone's environment.


You are not a seed. You are already a plant. You may be a sapling (afterall I am a Daddy Dom so you might identify as a babygirl) but you are well on your way to being who you are. If you cannot grow in the fertile soil I have laid down already, no amount of fertilizer or watering by me is going to change you.


If I ask you to play, I want you to say "no" if you are motivated by having expectations of me to change you. Sorry, I am too busy changing myself!

Sure I will "train" you to do what I like (if you desire doing things I like). Sure I will support and encourage you. I will also teach you and care for you. But ya know what, I will be more likely to change your diaper in an ageplay scene than change you. That's your job.


It is called self-esteem for a very good reason: you can only get it by yourself

Author's Notes/Comments: 


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Kill Your Darlings

"Kill your darlings." I read in a book

Behind my glowing keypad, I shook.

Kill my darlings, you say?

Just pick up a rag and wipe it away?

Backspace, backspace, backspace, I press.

Making my paragraph noticeably less.

But I don't think I'm fooling anyone, I guess,

I really must start fresh.

Author's Notes/Comments: 



Litter litter litter,

Keep that wrapper in your hand.

Just because you smoke,

Doesn't mean you have to litter up this land!

Driving down the road,

You see cups and cans everywhere.

You flip them out your windows,

A clean environment you don't care.

Is there anything that one can say,

That would make you think of another way?

What is the answer to your littering ways?

Do you need to grow up, to understand what i say?

There is a time in our youth,

That we may not care what we do.

But you are all grown up now,

And I'm talking to you.

You are the problem,

We have in our land.

If you want to make a difference,

Keep that litter in your hand!

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Two children, one has to be mature, the other has to be whatever she chooses. One has to do what he is told, the other gets to be free and do what she wants. It isn't even close to fair, she should have to do work too, but I will always get all the work.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is how it is in my house, my sister does nothing and never gets in trouble. My house is not even close to fair, but it will never change.

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