Your Self-Esteem is Not My Responsibility

DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO


I am Dominant. I like control. But I cannot control you. In a scene I strive to dominate you masterfully. But regardless of how submissive you are, in everyday life or in BDSM play, you still ultimately control you.


I don't Top to heal you (in fact, oftentimes I Top to hurt you). I Top to bring healing excitement to me. If you need healing, that is your responsibility.

I don't Top to renew you, I Top to bring a sense of accomplishment and renewal to myself. If you need renewal, that is your responsibility.


I don't Top to change you, I Top to improve my skills and grow in my expertise and learn new ways of thinking and acting. If you want to change, find it in yourself to change.


I don't Top to bring you out of your depression, I Top to have fun and by having fun I personally avoid depression.


In truth, I don't control or "dominate" anyone but myself. If you choose to submit to what I want, all the better. It can be very enjoyable for both of us!

I used to think I could be the wellspring of a woman's renewed self-esteem. So enamored with this ideal, it almost became a fetish. It was a thrill to believe I could be the catalyst for a woman's joy, healing, renewal and ultimate change.


But really, I can't change anyone else... but myself.


It took a lot of painful trial and error for both me and my partners for me to realize that a broken person doesn't need me to fix her, she needs simply a comfortable environment for her own healing and renewal to happen.


Maybe I can provide that environment for someone. Maybe not. I am a pretty complex and amazing person. But I no longer aspire to compromise myself to become anyone's environment.


You are not a seed. You are already a plant. You may be a sapling (afterall I am a Daddy Dom so you might identify as a babygirl) but you are well on your way to being who you are. If you cannot grow in the fertile soil I have laid down already, no amount of fertilizer or watering by me is going to change you.


If I ask you to play, I want you to say "no" if you are motivated by having expectations of me to change you. Sorry, I am too busy changing myself!

Sure I will "train" you to do what I like (if you desire doing things I like). Sure I will support and encourage you. I will also teach you and care for you. But ya know what, I will be more likely to change your diaper in an ageplay scene than change you. That's your job.


It is called self-esteem for a very good reason: you can only get it by yourself

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