For you I never felt good enough; even now I still try to measure up
I am continuously motivated by this twisted need to cultivate everything I loved about you within me
by escaping the flaws I can’t accept and the doubts instilled by your disinterest
and making myself an object of my own love
(This is the love I know — desperate and shallow.)
But the only thing from this I’ve gained
is the sensation of a ball and chain
Self-acceptance is my hill to climb
My heart will be free of you in time
For now I’m caught here in this back and forth
Of feeling lost and feeling worth
At least I know I’m fighting it.