Outsmarted Again.

Banana sanwich

bread and jam

piece of cake 

slice of ham

Well done steak

Turn around to get a plate

from a rack


Two little innocent faces

with wagging tails

stirring back.

Peter Dome. copyright.2013. Dec.


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My son-in-law’s name is Fred and though I truly love the man

I’ve often wonder about his taste in food...for instance he loves SPAM.


But then I did some research I looked wide and I looked long

And I realized that, when it came to SPAM, perhaps I have been wrong.


SPAM was created by Hormel Foods back in 1937

And immediately the world was treated to a little piece of heaven.


They start with chopped pork shoulder meat and add a little ham

Then cover it with salt-about 800 milligrams.


And so it can sit in your pantry for a long time in reserve

They add potato starch as a binder and sodium nitrite to preserve.


And here is something I think even had the Hormel chefs amazed

When they cooked up SPAM the top of it forms a nice gelatinous glaze.


I’m not quite sure at what point Hormel knew it had a winner

Perhaps when they realized SPAM was good for breakfast, lunch or dinner.


You can cook it up with eggs, in a sandwich it’s a breeze

You can even add this product to make delicious mac and cheese. 


My initial cynicism about this product I shall no more repeat

No longer will I harass Fred or call it mystery meat.


Did you know at the end of the day, after all the SPAM is reckoned

It’s calculated 4 cans of this stuff is eaten every second.


Why it’s so popular in Hawaii, so much do the Hawaiians partake

That in the islands SPAM is known as the official Hawaiian steak.


And it’s not just those Hawaiians who are passionate SPAM fans

60 million other Americans eat that meat from in that can.


So Fred my apologies for ever doubting you...SPAM has it’s own mystique


And guess what you’ll be getting when your birthday comes next week. 

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my ode to low vibration food

Ode To Low Vibration Food

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My ode entitled 'Eating Glue'


Hello people how do you do

I just made some glue

using wheat flour n water

not forgetting the vinegar

needed some natural bond

for some craft going on


of course had to boil it up

and to get rid of any lumps

stuck it in a blender to

get the clumps out of it too

but those blades were struggling

to turn with the bond happening


it only took a few minutes

to get a strong bond with it

now transferred to a jar

will keep for months or longer

that's stored in the fridge

loads of uses for it


then it occurred to me why

ages ago, listened to my guides

and gave up every cereal

wheat is just adhesive material

gave up processed sugars too

with acid, they form a glue


heat from your body boils

like on your stove, but no toil

all a natural process; heating

everything that your eating

eat the right combination and

your insides do glue creation


eat this combination of food

bound to weigh heavy on you

gluing you up like P.V.A

will indeed make your days

harder to live definitely

will drain you of your energy


the moral of this poem is

think what you eat, all of it

avoid foods that weigh heavy

this will lead to smaller belly's

and a more effortless life

the one with minimal strife


cos then you use all your energy

for you, the result more healthy

a body that weighs down

leads to a permanent frown

we are beings of light anyway

dont glue up your future days


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Poem: The Hungry Secularist

The Hungry Secularist is a poem from my e-book of 79 pages, Don't Swallow The Toothpaste. You can purchase the book at whatever price you would like to pay by clicking the link provided at the bottom of the page!


I put on my boots
before realizing another holiday
snuck up on me.
Walked into the bedroom
and called two major grocery stores.
No answer.
I looked at what fruit was
on the shelf.
There were a couple apples,
an orange,
and one tomato.
Not enough to get me through this
Easter Sunday and work tomorrow.


I went online to a map search,
typed "grocery", and found a little market 3 blocks away.
As I approached
there was an old neon soda
sign broken in half,
but I was optimistic
and hungry.


I entered the market
and grabbed a basket
circling the store a couple of times
before asking the young man
if they had bananas and tangerines.
He asked what I was going to use
them for.
I said, "I'm sorry?"
"What are you going
to use them for?"
"The tangerines?"
Yes - he said
I replied, "To eat."
He led me over to the cooler,
"You know what's good? Take a lime and cut it into wedges
and roll it in sugar."
I didn't have sugar at home due to just moving in,
and if I did,
the thought of eating a lime in
any manner makes my asshole pucker.
It's probably something he saw
on an MTV Spring Break episode.
He told me when the bananas
ripened they were gone.


I usually reserve one day a week
to eat anything. I grabbed a can of
Vienna Sausages,
mustard sardines, clam chowder soup,
then a couple of things that weren't as fattening.
I forgot to look for canned fruit.


I'm on my 3rd cup of coffee and
making a lot of runs to the bathroom.
The wooden floor squeaks in the
hallway as I try to find the tight spots to step,
so I don't wake a roommate.


For whatever reason
my sinuses are flared
and my throat sore.
We've had 5" of snow the last
two days,
and the wind chill on this
23rd of March is 26*.


March Madness
is winding its way
to the Sweet 16.
I remember the fever
in Carolina this time of year.
Between and after games
we would sometimes meet up
to shoot hoops.
In Minnesota on days like this
when outside,
I just work to dodge the yellow
spots from where the neighbors
walked their dogs.



Jim Creston
March 23, 2008
All Rights Reserved


Paypal also accepts credit cards, and you do not need to be a Paypal member! I will email you the e-book in .Pdf form once payment is completed.



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D. E. A. F.

Haven't eaten for a day or... five,

nothing in the house.

during these times when I'm starving

I envy the crumbs of a mouse.

No income equals no food,

at least for a while.

Don't draw the attention of teacher's

If they offer food just smile.

Don't scarf it down or eat too slow

your stomach will start to ache.

Never ever asks for seconds!

though your mouth may start to quake.

If you find some money,

you must buy enough to share.

Don't be selfish because you know

you're not the only person starving there.

If you can, save most of your school lunch,

and bring it home to mom.

To divide between your brothers and sister

enough to fill your palms.

Don't stuff your face,
you must keep yourself neat.

Maybe if we're lucky

dad will have some candy or a treat.

But if not go to bed,

drink water to fill up your little tummy

Just think of all the food you'll have

when mommy brings home money.

But don't imagine mac & cheese

or the chicken she may be carving.

Because it only makes your stomach growl

and you're already starving....

Author's Notes/Comments: 

My last poem of the day!!!!! Its about children out there who are starving everyday and though so many "people" say we're doing something to change it.... it doesn't seem to be working. But yeah... read and give feedback it would be appreciated!

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an ode about my mum called The Queen of MSG



The queen of MSG


I want to tell you a story

About the queen of MSG

Not forgetting e numbers too

Everything thats bad for you


Im talking about my mum

Still knee deep in the program

Getting on in years too

Cooking stuff thats bad for you


Im not just talking about

Ghastly stuff out the packet

The way she boils the crap

The goodness, doesnt entrap


Cooking cabbage, green water

No gooness left in: oughta

Same for every vegetable

To process a bodily struggle


Dont forget gravy granules too

Day after it turns to glue

Is that how gluten got its name?

Either way, its waste: insane

We even consume it at all

Western food standards: Mental


Cheap stock full of salt

It really isnt her fault

Limited budget, food going up

Soon the people gonna be stuffed

Not with food, lack of it

Shelf stackers, job to omit


Whole system turns blind eyes

Bad for you, shouldnt suprise

Profiteering or more sinister?

People in charge, just don’t care

Just seeking increasing profits

People suffering: STOP IT


Im glad i dont eat mums food

None of its any good for you

Dads struggling under the weight

Of Boiled food at a discount rate


The only cheap things in food shops

Bad for you or waste products

No choice for poor people

Or too busy or too feeble

Please think about what you eat

Could be killing people inavertently

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my ode to Brewers Fayre; charged with crimes against humanitys food


Greetings Brewers Fayre how do you do?

Just had to write a poem to you

just cycled past one of your pubs

wouldnt dream of eating your grub

just an observation from me

and some charges against humanity


you see our body's are not designed

to carry sugars and salts any time

especially young kids

invariably get adult doses

I have found a science paper here

that spells it out well clear

and im no doc or scientist

just a druid and a poet



oops forgot to tell u about the sign


that inspired this particular rhyme


unlimited pies and ice cream


thought of which made me scream


the nations fat enough anyway


without your full fat giveaway


suppose full of gluten too


that crap is really no good for you


its a waste product too




another reason I wont eat


at your places, any day of the week


you cook all your food with tapwater


not as good as it oughta


flouride was hitlers most feared


chemical weapon definitely


firs up your third eye too


to make people dumb


rather you than me




so I charge you with crimes


against humanity all of the time


serving them crap to eat


im really glad it isn’t me


everytime you see


a fatty on the streets


have some guilt in your veins


your frozen, gluten packed menu


is more than mad, its insane


and have a lovely day


maximising profits detriment too


the people who eat your sh it food







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So I'm looking down into my bowl, staring at my Life, I wish that it looked Golden, but i think it looks like Bran. It's kinda a flaky thing, a hard one to describe, like being excited to open that box, waiting for a great prize. Yes at times it seems a bit Fruity, is it Loops or Pebbles, who knows.... but I'm sure Fred would approve for his little Pebbly Poo, so here goes. I like my cereal with sugar, the more the better it seems. I want my cereal to cheer me up, take me away like all the great boxes we read as kids. Cereals had great adventures, interesting people and fun toys, not just how good they are for ya, or the nutritional value.... As a kid, our cereal was based on what we really liked, not how it might make you more regular, right? Otherwise, we might all be eating Grape Nuts.... wild hickory nuts, yum.... thanks Euell Gibbons! Life, too much reality for me, early in the morning.

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