Letting go isn't about the moment.
It's about the challenge of it, the difficulty in the moment, the hours and hours spent staring at the wall, hoping that with the mental ironsight on the heat of your emotional target, that'll you be pricesly happy by waiting for things to change. That the winning shot will happen at random times, and you're just waiting for it.
But, that's where you mess up. That's what causes the train-wrecked emotions that bring you to your knees, mentally weeping and emotinally hoping to be taken care of. If you wait for it, it'll never happen, because you're setting up expectations, and happiness is a building. You have to have a foundation, and you have to build it up from there.
Move on, and wait. Do things that make you happy, and try to make others happy. Don't do everything that everyone asks, and don't be someone that everyone wants you to be. Don't let others talk you down and keep you from being an aspiration in the modern day bullying culture.
Be yourself. Be happy. Don't set up expectations, just go with the flow.
The Parka
I wish I could just wear you. Slip you on, like a warm parka against the freezing cold. A thick pair of fur lined gloves , silky soft, warm and comfortable inside, but thick, and tough against the elements. You couldn't talk back, or get confused and run. You would only stay where I put you , and warm me, protect me against everything else out there when I needed you ...I could just take you off if I got too hot, instead of scrambling, and clawing trying so desperately to find you, like I do now when that happens. You'd be hanging there, on the hook when I was cold again and needed you. Still untouched by anyone else, you only fit me perfectly after all. I would patch you if ever you were worn, never throw you out, or replace you. I would wear you as if you were the finest ever to exist , walking proudly with you until I no longer needed protection from the elements. Until I could no longer walk outdoors at all. Until I was slipped into a silk lined wooden box, and lowered into the ever cold earth. There I would rest, and dream of your comforting embrace... Would my soul fly free ? Scouring the world for you? Or would I be trapped there, slowly coming apart, unraveling , helpless, in a cold dark place without you ? The way I am now.
Go ahead and give me those dirty looks
Because I see right through you
Go ahead and give me your silent treatment
Because I don’t want to hear you
Go ahead and use your twisted manipulation
Because I have grown stronger
At the end of the day I know that I have tried
I know that I was fair
I know that I was patient
I know that I was supportive
I know that I was understanding
It breaks my heart that is has to be this way
But it would hurt more if it stayed the same
Ugh im tired of all these words -- tired of all this fightin -- so let me clear ur head up -- & give u sum enlightenin -- u say im difficult -- that im hard to read -- but u kno wat this is who i am -- my own fucckknn breed -- a mystery -- so if u aint ready u should leave -- cuz i want a girl who wud fight for me -- who wud take da time to put da pieces together -- cuz she knos that im her true forever -- so why dnt u google my thoughts so u can have an idea -- of wat will come next -- that way u wont fear -- da possibilities are endless wen it comes to me -- so much so i'll leave u askin jeeves -- but if u da type of girl who loves to read -- u shud kno dis mystery novel aint free -- its gonna cost u ur key -- but in return u get a glimps of ur destiny -- filled with unlimited chapters of me -- of us -- of we -- our lust -- our love is dat limbo fantasy -- & i kno wen u turn da pages u can bearly breathe -- da thoughts buzzin in ur mind like orgasmic bees -- like a romance ecstasy -- a fish out of water u flip & flip & scare to see da fin -- but readin my words gives u dat oxygen -- so u survive -- & u survive -- yea fly into my heart -- baby fly -- to the skys -- yea we high -- on dis love baby girl i cant lie --so we fly -- yea we fly -- makin love on this cloud all nite -- & da final chapters in dis book cud neva bend -- becuz baby ur my happly eva after till da end --& these last final words come from my heart -- baby we'll neva neva eva be apart.
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