I feel quit lonely here, about to burst in to tears.

I feel quit lonely here, about to burst in to tears. I can't imagine how my heart really feels, but I know I feel tired of the lies everyone tells me. I think my heart is hurt by all the pain I hold inside me. I feel like screaming till my voice is gone completely, like crying and never stopping just how rain happens, like running after something that's not really there but I keep going because I'm so confused of everything that's going on. I wanna say I'm sorry but why should I, if I'm not the one hurting anybody, I'm the one getting hurt but I still hold it in till I can't no more and then explode of all the pain, jealousy, anger, madness, and love, the one thing I fear most sometimes. I try being someone else because I wanna forget who I am, I wanna be someone who no one lies to and never leaves me waiting. I wanna be that girl who everyone loves, just like everyone loves the Fresh air of the beach when there walking in the sand with their love ones. But I will always stay stuck here wanting everyone to stop lying to me and tell me truth about how they feel. There's only one thing in life I want the most and that's to love the ones that are there for me and have never lied and to succeed in life with the goals I have in mind. I feel quit lonely here about to burst in tears. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this poem yesterday, I guess I didn't feel good about something or someone.  I guess i was just tired of all the lies and the untruthness. I don't know how it sounds but I just wrote what ever came out from inside of me. We live in a world full of lies, hate, jealousy and confusion and maybe its bringing me down Sometimes And wrote something about it. 

palewingedpoetess's picture

I read your poem last it was in the order I came upon them...

and after reading your poem that was the final stage for a collage of such of poems full of pain. I found I couldn't take any more and had to have a word page bloodletting of sorts. This poem was inspired by the last 15 or so poems of other poets (yours lastly included) that I read. I had to release all that had invaded my heart's very being. So much sorrow begets so much mercy I truly believe in the eyes of the Lord. Thank you for adding me as your friend and follow. That was what started it all. I was looking through my list of "Friends" who have chosen to add me and then I came upon another sub list of those who wish to "Follow" me and I was quite beautifully stunned. That was what began my Journey cause then I chose to go and read the comments on my poems and then comments to the comments I'd made on other poet's poems. So quite by the train of events, here with your poem I come full circle and so I share with you the compilation of what all that pain I read and absorbed, turned into inside me and came out of me in the form of a poem all my own. Enjoy. Sincerely, Melissa Lundeen.


I read so much pain

I bleed so many lines

words come like tears

binding blood to wounds

in rhyme

divinity's grace sprinkles

empathy outward from within

I peer in so to better peer out

fully realizing that

dishonesty towards self

only attracts more stigma

to one's sin

copious amounts of disturbing


poets and non poets alike

tell themselves

repeatedly in such suffocating wind

it's just easier to see it in poets

cause they write it out

accosting their readers' eyes with

all their self recriminations and doubt

fanciful no longer am I

though I may seem so in some wordings

I place so hopefully to the page

when really in the end

all I am is what I've always claimed to be

a conduit

standing fearfully behind the mask of

'My Spirit's Sage'................

(May 2, 2014 735pm)



RoseRigual's picture

That peom that came out of

That peom that came out of you by reading all of those poems of pain, was really good and i loved it. Everything you said in that poem is true, specially when you said that poets or non poets  alike tell themselves repeadtedly in such suffocating wind. Thank you for accepting me as a friend and also i want to let you know that your poems are really good.



Trust no one just yourself.