Nothing to Lose


I’m not scared of falling, you’re going to love the rush

don’t settle for what I want you to be

I won’t beg but I’ll catch you

and when the ice still chokes you in warm weather

I’ll fill this air with antifreeze.


We slip easily into this tango,

a minute in the same room and we’re magnets

No matter how strong I dream the pull

this will never become somewhere

your name isn’t carved in every wall.


I might be foolish but at least I don’t hide it

I’m a creature of habit, I clutch my fears

even when you try to pull them out,

I want to be something you call home.


I shy from your hand and long for your heat at the same time.

I shy from your strength but I’m drawn to your shipwreck

because I can’t possibly fix it.

We have nothing to lose.

What should we be scared of?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 3/1/17

View tallsquirrelgirl's Full Portfolio



Things would be easier if there was a rhyme,

or some way to frame this with a stained-glass window.


I don’t choose how I keep falling for someone else

but I choose every minute to keep it from you.


Find me in loyal but I’ll never get to heaven,

you’ve scraped all the smooth sailing from my wake,

the waves crash under this boat till we’re soaked.


Find me in quiet but I’ll never get to heaven,

every day I choose this war and this bloodshed

instead of falling back into the sleep and simplicity I used to know.


Things would be easier if there was some way to win

but I’m on the path to demolition

I still hold a needle to my wrist every time you’re around,

waiting for a rush and a comfort so pure I’m afraid it will break all the barriers,

or some kind of burn in my blood when you’re leaving again,

when someone else’s lifeline lives behind your eyes.

Heartbreak or pure exhilaration…

I never know what will make me push in the tip.


Find me in truth but I’ll never get to heaven,

I keep choosing these blue eyes with sharp edges

that you hold close to mine too long.

Don’t worry

I wouldn’t want them to be gentle,

I need you to love the words you throw jagged

like the hellfire in our veins

like the holes we won’t be able to sew closed in each other’s chests.

Don’t ever apologize for feeling.


Find me in lonely but I’ll never get to heaven,

I keep choosing this heart.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 2/27/17

Break the Rules


Call me crazy, I’ll be as insane as you let me,

I’m a hotwired leap to the edge, just not moving yet

and you can’t hold me back with any chain


Most of us just push the limits

Most of us just break the rules

Most of us feel just as right as wrong


It’s why we trip on our own feet,

why I walk on ceilings to make you mine

and look for a home in your eyes


We take speed limits as strides on the small end

We’re talking crazy but I don’t mind insanity

I just hope you find your keys before we unlock the world


Most of us just break the rules,

now I sit here with a fistful of dreams,

I hope you find me before I have to set them free.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 2/25/17

View tallsquirrelgirl's Full Portfolio

Head Case


I am a head case, you seem to be too

but at least people know it about you

when you stay here with us telling just enough truth

while I keep this inside from my point of view


I won’t tell lies but I won’t tell you enough

I would tell it all but then you’d call my bluff

You can tell when I’m open, when my love’s too full

I won’t tell lies but I won’t give my soul


I am a head case, I run into walls

I’m a misshapen road then a long way to fall

I am a head case, you seem to be too

but at least people know it about you


You bleed, it runs up the walls like a lunatic

I bleed and the rainbow comes back just to ruin it

Like whispers and laugh lines we sneak through the streets

I’ll fall down at your doorstep or we’ll fall asleep


I am a head case, I can’t risk or I’ll lose

I’m the color of echoes in this empty room

I am a head case, you seem to be too

but at least people know it about you

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 2/23/17



How could you ever know

if I never let this love out?

You’re too busy trying to

cut yourself into slivers

give everyone a piece

till there’s nothing left to build your own bones.


My mind is a canyon.

I spend too much time at the bottom,

your name comes up there a lot.

I know I need to be more for you,

quieter, louder,

more precise,

more someone to save

and someone to be saved,

more willing to give you my flaws in silver wrapping.

I want to be more

but these pieces might just be a start.


I feel how full this room pretends to be without you

when you leave even for a minute

I feel how empty I can taste my regrets

and tears that haven’t fallen shouldn’t fall.


I wish everyone I loved remembered the same moments I do,

knew which things they said once are still stuck on a loop in my head.

That would tell them so much more about me than my halfhearted attempts to articulate it.


I wish I knew what you remembered,

what do you want me to say like a broken record?


You mean more to me than my favorite mismatched socks.


You shouldn’t need to chase down the one you call a friend- there are so many humans with you if you just turn around.


I know what you mean.


It’s a late Tuesday night, come on an adventure with me.


Don’t be afraid of the monsters in your mouth

or the lies living under your tongue.


We should do this more often,

but not too much

or it will lose its magic.




Everything might not be okay, but something will.


My lonely, my introvert does not mind when you’re around.


This is not enough time to spend with you.


Wear those earrings more often.


You’re beautiful.


I don’t know what I want from you

but I like to think that I do.


I do know one thing:

I want to be more.


I wish I could spell all my memories out for you,

which of your words I wrap in gold,

but that would use up

all this ink I’m saving for when I eventually tell you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 2/20/17

An objective point of view


Call me fractured, call me broken

Call me the handhold you can’t quite reach

Call me the buildup, flames to embers

Call me everything or something or nothing

Call me silent, call me scarred

Call me rhythm but please don’t touch


Call me something I’ve never heard,

let me speak in the third person,

my nails are cracking,

my blinks crumbling,

my bones snap like memories,

I am stepping out and leaving this frame behind me,

I don’t want to own anything I can’t fix.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 2/12/17

View tallsquirrelgirl's Full Portfolio

I Am The Liar


I bleed in borrowed snakeskin

and staring down at it I can’t wrap you in the blame

no, I am the liar

and I can’t help but wash away in dreaming

when you leave like this.


I am hollow heavy eyes

following your current and

I wrap you in the shadows to separate you from the sparks

but they still find their way to your window,

piling over each other until all I can see is blinding

so I throw myself on the ground outside

hoping this city can love a liar

and the streetlights all go out at the sight of me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 2/12/17

View tallsquirrelgirl's Full Portfolio

Sippy Cup (day 191)

Now your air is humid with humans,

leave if you don’t want to meet my eyes

Take what you want, don’t grow if you don’t want to

I won’t be stealing your sippy cup


I’ve at least sent you letters when I don’t want to speak,

when I can’t make myself meet your eyes

That’s more than I can say for you

I can’t take away your sippy cup


You can breathe in pretend, the world doesn’t need you

to stand tall enough to sing

I can see my own unraveling, I don’t need your microscope

to cast the blame when you can’t get up


We have the same demons but I’m standing next to mine

you keep a death grip on someone’s hand

We have the same demons but I’m dancing with mine

while you blind them with headlights and can’t take it in

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 2/3/17

Sippy cup

View tallsquirrelgirl's Full Portfolio

Venom (Cough Drop Spirit) (day 189)

Your kiss is gentle enough to suck the venom from my chest,

fill all the sinkholes I’m drowning in,

sheets sliding off the corner as my eyes close,

the green is long gone and you can’t take it back

half as fast as I can blink you out.


I thought I was the one with a cough drop spirit,

too much for them to take,

puckered lips have always stolen whatever else I leave behind.


But now you’re here

and you have used the tears in my heart to rip yourself more beautifully empty

so be a cigarette,

when you stretch out I want to know how far you reach and

how much you’ll change me.


I want this clash,

a brain always at war with a green apple heart,

something that has never known easy,

never known sweet,

nothing but this flavor that seeps in like a spy

and steals the venom.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 2/1/17


View tallsquirrelgirl's Full Portfolio