# addiction #relationship #failure #prose #heartbreak #foreveralone #hopelessromantic #hurt #betrayal #lust# disappointment# life # heart # truth # suffering # sadness # pain # happiness # empty # mistakes # fate # time # difference # madness # theone

you make it difficult to love you

Feeling like an empty vessel

going about my day to day

walking at my own pace 

I'm slowing down



This person before me

is not what they seem

from the outside you are 



family man



in love with me

Deep beneath the surface you are not what you say


Never to share your vulnerabilities 

always fearing the worst

your not happy and you don't know why


so you search for it in the only place you know

you can find it

your ego

many women

many affairs

emotional and probably physical

i've lost count of the things i've discovered 


I can't make you happy

You can't make yourself happy

I'm loosing myself and my whole being

just trying to save you


you hurt me


It is so difficult to hang on

You make it difficult to love you

Pushing me away

I remembered today why I 

don't like to go anywhere with you


So distant 

So off

So disconnected from me

Where is the person at home


You shower me in hugs and kisses

then out and about

I feel like a stranger

a friend 



Maybe you have a lot on your mind

Your pushing me away

With the things you don't have to say

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Actions speak louder than words

barely received an apology

I'm having a rough day

Not sure you notice

I'm drowing in my thoughts





At any moment a tear

could come pouring out I doubt you feel ike you love me

You don't want me


I feel defeated 


not enough

what is wrong with me

you hurt me

I'm trying to understand you

build you up

helt empathazie 

I barely received an apology 

Anticipating a replacement

You have acknowledged some of your actions

But no changed behavior 

no changed behavior 

no progess to compare

Ommited truths are still a lie

I feel stuck

I see the person you are 

the person you hide

And the person you could be

if you opened up and allowed yourself to be vulnerable


When will I know if this is true 

or if your just waiting

For the real woman of your dreams

I don't believe you see me that way

You wouldn't pick me out of a crowd anyone

You once did 

8 years later

I'm not the same

I'm a fragment of the old me

You molded me into this thought of keeping the peace


At the end of the day

Everything is physical with you

Am I just an object to you

just like everyone else

nothing special 

nothing about me that you like


I just simply exist 

I'm here to please you

until you have someone else that will take my place

Writings to my soul with my situation

I want to write so much

Let my thoughts out

But I didn't know where to begin


This cyclic supply 

damages and regresses me

This addiction

has you all the while 

drowing me


Expressing my fears/feelings

It always ends in me feeling disheartened 

knowing you aren't giving me

your full attention, a safe space for dialogue, and understanding


I'm the only one constantly hurt by your actions

I'm lied to



Molded to the girl you can use

You have made me think this isn't that bad since you still love med


Omitted truth is a lie

I don't believe you

trust you

you still lie to me

where is the integrity


You say this has nothing to do with me

then why do I feel in despair

I am not enough for you 

You have made that clear

When will you make a change

When will you wake up


I am fighting with myself daily

minimizing the pain

the hurt

the depression

the anger

the pain


I'm fighting with reality

You are so good at pretending

You are so good at telling me you love me


Love does not lie

Love does not cheat

Love does not disrespect

Love will make you grow

make you heal

make you enjoy life


We are no longer on the same level

maybe we never were

there is so much I want to say

there is so much i want to grow from


I feel like i'm standing 

in the middle of the dessert 

waiting for you 

to help save us

But your too wrapped up in self absorption

your ego

your phone



I'm waiting for you to leap

I'm tired of being the one chasing after you 

picking up the broken pieces of my heart while telling you everything will be fine

You are shattering my heart

I am trying to repair yours


At this point it is all up to you

How does this go

How does this end

How will this begin 

For a Moment, Remember Me Again


I wish I knew what I want to say 

I wish I knew what to do

The truth is I've been at a loss

Since I lost you 


It's the gap, the absence, the lack 

The introspectively shaped hole 

On the right side of the bed 

That I realize tonight 


The truth is

I can't move on 

I don't even want to 

Each moment that goes by 

I'm starting to miss the days of my life

That I thought I was sad 


I don't just love you, I need you 

And I hate the fact that I want you 

When you've moved on

I don't want to haunt you 

But I miss your smile and your laugh


So for a moment

Please remember me again



Safe From A Riddle

Safe From A Riddle


climb up the ladder

burning safe away from fire

onto its burden desire

change the flat tire


lift high the plug to do

light a fixture to explain the gun for hire

shadow box we claim no more

teaching often learning


to share with a hero

begin the commercial

a twain but not forgottern

mixed in here.....

Rod Wave

Im never gonna doubt myself again,

Running blind ignoring my intuition,

I really convinced myself you would changed,

I ain't speak to you in three weeks,

Thought you'd give up the games,

But you still the same,

Still treat me like I'm second best,

when you know deep down I'm better than the rest,

I sit in this red chair, waiting for you to give me air,

Feeling like I can't breathe without you here,

But you leave me hanging, 

The same way you did when we were dating,

I know you seen my message,

You always got your phone,

You also been on Facebook 7 times since I sent it so I know,

You give your heart to these ungreatful bitches,

They take your energy and then they spend it, 

On another nigga or whatever TF they do with it,

All I know is they don't repay you for all the feelings,

you gave them, they never repay them,

Them long nights up waiting,

When will all this love and work I put in get repayed man,

All the lies and all the fake I love yous,

You really only loved yourself,

I promised I was gonna put myself first,

But I ended up still chasing you, while you chased someone else.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Fuck love.

Sharp Rocks

Life is short

and i'm slowly wasting





losing my pigment,



I could escape into love

and fly away with the doves


A beachless island,

with jagged cliffs

and sharp rocks


No sanctuary,

no peace,

no love


No fruit,

No rain,

No hope