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That’s the dash,
That dashed that day,
That that dude dowsed Dan.
Dan, dazed, dove deep down;
Down that dam that drank deaths.

That dash did daze those days,
Those days that those Danes died.
Those Danes’d dug deep down,
Down that deep damsel’s ditch,
Doing those deals that dazed them.
That ditch doubled her dam,
Double-double, drilling did them dull.

Duck deal doled deep down…
Damsels doled dick’s doze,
Dan’s dudes drilled deep down,
Doubling that dash did them dull,
Dane death those dudes thought;
But French death Dan’s dudes done.

I gave in
Silently crying
Loudly pleading for help
Nobody came
EVERYONE ran
When i finally opened up threats were made
Actions weren't taken
Talk IS cheap
Light surrounded me but yet,
The darkness still took over
Once again i opened up
Tears of blood flowing
Threats were made and quickly shut down
Light came
Vanishing the darkness to the depths of my heart
Broken by love and friendship
Still, nights were heart wrenching
Will the light keep me?
Or banish me to hell.

I know what it’s like to be born,
with a disorder unattractive to the eye.
I know what it’s like to have a father,
show me that love is nothing but a lie.
I know what it’s like to have a mother,
stick around for awhile.
I know what it’s like to have a step-dad,
break everything within a mile.
I know what it’s to have a family,
that is nowhere to be seen.
I know what it’s like to have a childhood,
where everyone is mean.
I know what it’s like to have friends,
although bullied every day.
I know what it’s like to go to friend’s houses,
to find out my mother walked away.
I know what it’s like to have grandparents,
hire me a lawyer because of my dad.
I know what it’s like to live with a father,
who always makes me sad.
I know what it’s like to be taken under someone’s wings,
who hates everything you are.
I know what it’s like to have a parent,
who’s always at the bar.
I know what it’s like to have a boyfriend,
who lies to your face.
I know what it’s like to say, “I love you”,
and in return, “You’re a disgrace”.
I know what it’s like to have an aunt,
take you in after being kicked out.
I know what it’s like to make new friends,
who are there beyond all doubt.
I know what it’s like to get accepted,
into the school of my dreams.
I know what it’s like to see my future,
fall apart at the seams.
I know what it’s like to have a boyfriend,
not speak truth and always lie.
I know what it’s like to have hope,
that tomorrow I may die.
I know what it’s like to have a best friend,
named Crown Royal.
I know what it’s like to live your dreams,
and still feel like hell.
I know what it’s like to trust your surroundings,
and fall a victim of date rape.
I know what it’s like to take some time off,
only to find out I’m in bad shape.
I know what it’s like to go to school,
and feel all alone.
I know what it’s like to have a best friend,
who can only talk to you on the phone.
I know what it’s like to fall in love,
yet live with so much hate.
I know what it’s like to have a boyfriend,
ask another woman on a date.
I know what it’s like to live with family,
who makes you more depressed.
I know what it’s like to excel in school,
when you can’t even get dressed.
I know what it’s like to change my future,
by switching majors to the unknown.
I know what it’s like to have support,
say you can’t be left alone.
I know what it’s like to have freedom,
at the age of twenty four.
I know what it’s like to have a family,
hate me at the core.
I know what it’s like to graduate college,
and still feel like I failed.
I know what it’s like to get interviews,
and rejections that were emailed.
I know what it’s like to want the world,
and get nothing in return.
I know what it’s like to go through life,
thinking there must be something I didn’t learn.
I know what it’s like.

They have parceled me out amongst them,
Making bogus contracts upon my head.
They who call themselves CIVILIZED.

My water has been poisoned,
And the nature of my food corrupted.
I have been spat upon, brutalized, sucked dry...
They are HYPOCRATES,
Who have cried charges of rape against each other,
But they have not fought for my cause.

OH MY SOUL...

WHY DO THEY TURN DEAF EARS ON MY WEEPING?

WHY DO THEY TURN BLIND EYES FROM MY PAIN?

I have been the giver of life,
Year after Year.
And WHAT do they give me when I give birth?

A TOKEN PLANT,
That EVENTUALLY be killed by them anyway

"It's just a matter of time...."
"They have left me barren!!!"

So many days I want to erupt with fury,
Singe their faces with embers and hot ash.
And I want to drown them in the bitter water they have left me to drink!!!!!!

Andy why?
Why do I continue to lull them to sleep
WITH MY HEARTBEAT?

In THAT moment,
Not long after my death,
THEY WILL THINK OF ME...
ESPECIALLY WHEN JUST DESSERTS COME.

Will someone,
ANYONE,
SPELL IT OUT FOR THEM!!!!!
In the end,
I CHOSE
to no longer be held captive,
And I gave up my spirit.

I am no longer,

Mother Earth

Yet another has joined

the ranks upon ranks of women who have been raped.

A young girl, a girl of 13.

Manipulated by one she thought she could trust.

Only 13

I view her as the sister I never had.

Has had her innocence torn from her.

I know how it feels to be used like that.

Not rape, but still.

We were all wary of him.

But she went to him seeking comfort.

Answers.

And she was met with a lie.

His true face shone through.

I have been told she is doing well.

And it really seems that she is.

But I worry.

Is it all a brave face?

What is she feeling inside.

I fear she will do something rash.

I don't want to loose my little sister.

My only hope is those who surround her.

Friends and family.

Providing comfort, support, so she knows shes not alone.

That she has someone to turn to.

I almost feel as though it has happened to me.

I feel torn up inside.

We were all wary of him.

But she didn't see it until it was too late.

And so another person has joined

the ranks upon ranks of women who have been raped.

A young girl of 13.

My friend.

I feel sick inside.

I hope he rots in hell.

Well tell me Mr. Sneaky Snake

 Does it make you feel good

 To know that you robbed your own

 Family of their childhood.

The pain it runs deep

 It's something I can't forget.

 It festers in the back of my mind,

 It eats at my soul like a tick.

Time is supposed to heal all wounds

 But these memories won't go away,

 It hurts me deep inside

 Every moment of every day.

Family is supposed to keep you safe,

 Teach you trust and love.

 Now how do you feel

 That you've betrayed your own blood?

Years later you finally said sorry,

 Yeah, only sorry you got caught.

 You're growing sicker and older now

 Drinking yourself to death while you rot.

I've always felt embarrassed & ashamed,

 It makes me sick to my stomach.

 If it wasn't disgusting enough to abuse me,

 You had to mess with my cousins.

I can't wait till the day

 That I may piss on your grave

 Someone that was truly sincere,

 I could have forgave.

Just know that Karma's a bitch,

 And one day you'll pay your dues

 Be it this life or the next

 there's a special place in hell

 reserved for people like you.

~Deziraye Wald~

Movements

Electrical impulses

Sparks of metal

Rain down on me

You are the pestilence

Plague

Destroyer

Killer

Father

Flashes of light

Polaroid’s of my soul

My innocence

My childhood

Turned into a brothel

Pedophile mine

I can not escape you

I am your blood

White tiles

Freeze my flesh

Knives

Cut my insides

Daddys little girl

Became daddys battlefield

Get your hands the fuck off me

Voice the fuck out of my mind

Hit me hug me

Rape me love me

At least please drug me

My nightmares don’t end in with the morning

I was always alone

Even though you’ve never left

Cancer hidden away inside me

Killing even when I can’t see you

Child fuck toy

Once a fractured girl

Now warrior woman

Look at me once again and I will fuck you up

RAPE. 

   Third attempt to write about it

And all I ever get too is the unzip part!

Trap of the honey sucker,

His bed made of semen petals!

I don’t look or care for excuses,

Yes I was young, so what !

Should I have known better?

When his fingers stroked my skin?

And his words twisted it my mind?

Hidden face of innocence can be so ugly!

I almost forget him, forgive? Who…

Before he did the deed it left on me!

one has to be violated it, my best tattoo.

It seems like the wind was slapping my ass,

When his fifthly hands caressed it my hair.

His sickly voice trying to hypnotised my drunken soul,

And felt my clothles being removed away!

What was the big deal? those crimes happen every days,

I was seventeen, I was no kid,

Oh sure, It took long before I took the knive

And kill my ego used and abused!

Paris, city of the lovers,

Not so sure by the hot poker,

I scream enough for him to give me back my serenity,

By then it was too late!

The man, used a soap to seat on his new trophy,

And if I felt hate, my manhood was hard,

And let him steals my innocence,

Today, I feel nothing, no an inches of hate!

They say rape is a taboo subject,

I say, taboo is the silence that followed it!

I have no more time for secrets,

We all, know secret kills!

It could have been someone else,

Today, I barely remember his face,

More the details of his room,

The pimp of the voice whispering me,

How beautiful, I was,

The lies and the burning soap,

Burning my inside while he took his pleasure,

And felt to sleep like a child.

As I was told youth is wasted on the youngsters!

Woke up naked my mind still fills with blurry flashbacks,

Of what he had done to me,

looking at him sleeping peacefully.

The kid turned to a man,

And shook him, realising his clothes had vanished!

He could barely spoke and order me to go back to bed,

The front door was locked or was it my sanity?

I was a naked trap animal,

There was only one last exit,

I open the window,

And stood on the balcony.

I scream for my life,

He watched me like some frantic creature,

But he knew the look in my eyes,

Was ready to do the jump!

He crawled of the bed of his sin,

And took a key of his pocket,

Through my attire at me

And I run half naked in the streets of romantic Paris.

There is neither moral or regrets,

I find my way to the train station,

And once more time as I had did thousand of time the night before,

I check my pocket, where I had not find any money or my return ticket.

As my hand plunge one more time in my jacket pocket,

I felt something I had look all night,

My hands retrieved the train ticket,

Was I a joke of the devil?

And all I could sense was the remains,

The burning sensation inside me,

Soap are made to wash hands,

Train ticket to leave, Strangers to avoid

As meaningless to day the word rape has become.

Sweet seventy, face of an angel

Easy prey, half sober,

Wondering the streets of Paris,

Funny, I still always check my pockets to these days!

                    COPYRIGHT@H.NAUDET.2010.

Another long night,
new nightmares coming to claim me.

His hands on my body,
trying to block it out.

Pulling away,
screaming inside my head.

This isn't me,
it can't be real,
I must be dreaming!

Wanting to run,
escape from it all,
but I feel dirty, tainted.

Hands balled in fists,
nails digging into my palms,
trying to deny what's happening.

He tries to lay me down,
his hand on my breast,
trying to slide down my pants.

Push him away,
bolt for the door,
trying to wake from this nightmare.

Fighting the tears,
I won't let him see,
he'll never know how badly he's gotten to me.

Damaged and broken,
dirty and scarred,
Don't touch me!

Trying to be my friend,
gain my trust,
only to attack when my guard's down.

Get away,
leave me alone,
just let me cry and bleed.

Hope I can forget,
block it all out,
just another bitter memory.

It never happened,
I wish I could believe,
just another lie,
it's not real, that wasn't me,
wake me up,
I must be dreaming!