self hatred

I'm afraid

I'm afraid
Of losing
Of being a disappointment
So I never try
I'm afraid
Of being a nuisance
Of being betrayed
So I never get close
I'm afraid
Of being alone
Of my emotions
So I close myself off
I'm afraid
Of myself
I'm so very afraid

Author's Notes/Comments: 

It's not good but I just need to write something before I explode, might delete it later

My Final Goodbye


Here I lay,

covered in scrars.

I tried to run,

but couldn't make it far.

I once was pure,

now riddled with stains.

I try to endure,

and forget all this pain.

I ask The Lord

to give me a sign.

That life is worth living,

that it isn't my time.

I waited and waited,

but no sign was given.

I desperately hope

my final sin is forgiven.

They tell me there's hope,

they tell me hold on,

By I know the truth is

that I'm already gone.

Some may think

that the devil has won.

Yet for once I feel hope,

as I'm loading this gun.

My final words not spoken,

only written in pen.

"Just know that your son

is happy again"


Empty out my pockets
Metaphorically my heart
Speak fluently in confusion
In other words retard

Dismember connotations of
What I am to you, vice versa
Rapidly descending into the blue
Cold feet, great inertia

Abstract piece of shit
Mass majority call it art
Condescending display of empathy
Somewhat of a start

Migrate to the darker side
Of the brighter end of the room
A tyrant of the world inside my head
Mere patch of grass in the one controlled by you

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