Monet’s Parasol Beauty

She was a woman built in technicolor:

a vibrant Monet's parasol beauty in a miniskirt with

indecencies etched into her eyelids and the promise of
galaxies mapped out on her lips.

Tell them we died

in late evening while the band still lingered

over their cocktails
and rhythms slid like molasses
over moon-tanned shoulders and under stilettos.

Cinnamon wafted from her hair as she tapped a heel.
I imagined what my mother would say
and I suppose we gathered glances
like some do sea shells
and held them just as tightly.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I just felt like the original needed more OOMPH.

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Coming Out

  First I will say that although I have clicked on the font menu for this to come out in 2pt, in parenthesis it says "(10pt)",, so however it comes out for anyone, will be a matter of happenstance I suppose.

     Today is supposedly "National Coming Out Day"on an international level. I don't know how "official" that is, but I figured I'd write on it anyway for all those who honor it.

     I am and have always been a heterosexual woman who has totally enjoyed being so. I do not know what it feels like to be confused about sexuality. To me, there was never a question about it until the world started making it such a big deal. I have always known, (even if I couldn't understand), there are people who are sexually attracted to someone with the same genitals as themself. I always liked "different" and still do...more with every year I age. I have acquaintances, family, and friends who are gay and bisexual, and have a huge amount of respect for their struggles, (same as I do for ethnic minorities and other of the downtrodden and disrespected of society).

       So, yes, here it comes, brace yourself--the big ''however".

.....However, just as gays and bisexuals, (s&m lovers, those who favor beastiality...whatever), want to be respected for their sexual preferences, and I will speak for myself at this point and say that heterosexuals would like the same. Those gays and bisexuals I associate with DO respect my sexuality, and we share fullfilling friendships. I cannot say the same for most I have met. I do not know if they understand that just as they want to be accepted in society, getting that respect doesn't come by making assumptions and attempting to act out fantasies with those whom they are fully aware are not attracted to them in a sexual way. 

     We are sexual beings. This Is true. It slithers it's way out sometimes in places where we do not intend for it to, but just because we may think someone is sexually attracted to us, doesn't mean they are. Please don't take that out of context. It is a good thing to practice no matter what your sexual preferences are. I know both men and women who have been approached in a disrespectful manner and felt defiled, violated, and extremely disrespected. please be considerate and make your community proud. Don't be a disgrace to it.

Peace. And happy happy "International Coming Out Day"


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there was a girl

there was a girl

older than me
but young in life
there was a girl
with clear skin
and a beautiful scattering 
of freckles, 
like a picturesque scattering
of seeds 
waiting to bloom 
into flowers
there was a girl
who loved music 
especially old folk tunes 
that remind her of her childhood
and riding her motorbike
recklessly on her own
there was a girl
who had suffered 
too much for her age
and yet she only trusted
a few
with the dark secrets 
beneath her smile
there was a girl 
different to the rest
not only in who she was
but also
the way 
she made me feel
there was a girl
who changed 
everything I thought I knew
about life 
and who I was
there was a girl
who blessed me 
with kisses and love
and company 
in my single bed
there was a girl
who would hold me
comfort me
care for me 
love me
there was a girl
I hurt 
I abandoned
for shallow acceptance
from my peers
there was a girl
who was in pain 
needed a friend
needed help
there was a girl 
who found 
her savior
in a bottle 
of pills
and then suddenly
there wasn't 
a girl

Twice is enough to tempt me



Lie and try to love the empty, every way I can.
Deep desires pushing me, like self fulfilling prophecy.
I hold on to these moments and watch them turn to dust
fleeting favor then it dies as we both know it must.
No favors for my friends no favors for myself
life is a casino, my own love is my wealth
first red, then black, a queen and jack looking for a sign.
eyes are rolled I need a 6 and somehow I get 9, every single time..
on Monday wake up after 10, but time is lost on ole big Ben
mothers warning rings out in my head "Rest, succeed, know retreat but guys like this need friends.
 You'll know burns and no returns if you get what you think you need again"
sand will make you gold that glitters doesn't matter what they pay. Trust the words I could never say and in the god I'll never pray to cause motives are friendly, emotion's not my friend. Shaking the habitual and bad behavior trends.
I still carry your lantern, cause I thought that I knew you best, and til you tell me just once more to put it down I'm gona hold it to my chest.

If you just keep holding me, tomorrow I'll go quietly
If you just poke holes in me, I promise that I'll never bleed.
Body contact is enough to tempt me, when you find one that fits I'll be twice as empty
Until you find a fit I get what I need but I'll be twice as empty when you succeed.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem was inspired by my always being attracted to "straight" guys and the situations I end up in as a result. Would really like some feedback on this as it means a-lot to me.


Time for lunch.
Heading to the Caf,
For the one I yearn.

What's she doing here?
Black hair, black eyeliner, black clothes.
Caught bleeding.

I've missed you.
And I you.
Pink, supple lips.
Full, large hips.

I break the rules.
Fuck off.

If love was real,
I think I'd love you.
And I would you.
Hah, love.

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