Realistic Insomniac

Older stuff

Wonderous lights and semi-toned heart beats, leaving a restless sleep and disarraying thoughts. Calm the nerves of the quickened pulse, lust is the epidemic that is now the problem. Kindred people that lack personal sentimates and individual thoughts. Emphasis on the least appropriate matters, just dwell into the subconscious and try to figure out something that never existed before but now lurks beyond the conception of reality and past memories. Entwining false hopes and optimism of the careless person, sit down in your throne, and twiddle to the everyday thoughts just to recognize a pattern of protection from everything you comprehend. Easily amused by bright colors and destruction, make it a personal drama of everyday life. No more soliloquies just prance about the thoughts that come to mind and beat around the bush until the lies are caught and forgotten. Emotion of the faceless doll leaves a troubling idea of how something with no face can ever show something more then just being alive. Blood filled paper and blinding lights that don't have a purpose, what is the meaning to dreaming of nothing? Everything in existance just doesn't have a purpose, it just seems like everyone is so careless to think that friends and love will make the world right, but truthfully, why does it matter? express something that comes occasionally and has no purpose? What if someone gains happyness by killing others....does that mean they should do what makes them happy? What kind of world do we live in...where did everything start to change...what is the purpose of being, and would it really matter all that much if everything just stopped happening? Would anyone care.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I kinda just wrote nothing...weird.

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New Breed of Disappointment

Older stuff

Ha, lets not even speak for my anger is trivial compare to the lack of care in peoples eyes. The smiles they have are so fake, it almost hurts to look at them. They try to leave warm feelings in you but they are cold as ice. Don't feed me fake excuses, Im already bloated enough from the world we live in. My body is crippled from everyone around me, the slander has led me to bleed my blood, and cough up my pitiful memories hoping that we can live like that again, but then the mental blows shatter my mind and I fall yet again. I have completed all of my goals now, I've protected the ones I love from danger, Ive done everything I looked forward to, I have experimented to see all of my options...My purpose is now served. Don't despair out of dead words, this is not a death vow I just prefer not to live at this point. I will not act on my actions but I need to escape all of this pointless living, I need to see life through someone elses eyes. I dont know how but maybe things will look interesting, otherwise I don't think I will stay put any longer.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I need to look for other ways of life to find the way of life that is acceptable I suppose.

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Rise Up


How can I believe you,

When all you have to say are lies?

Why should I help you,

When you’ve nothing to offer?

You push me to perfection

Molding me into an ideal child

If I don’t rebel I lose myself

If I don’t give in I lose it all

So I become just another mindless puppet

Children around the world

Rise up,

Be yourselves

And do not fear

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It's just so wrong

To force life to obey our commands

They, in numbers strong

Collared into slavery by our hands.

It's just so wrong

that we rather get high;

smoking a bong,

Than help our fellows on land, sea, & sky.

It's just so wrong

that we act like such jerks

and join the screwed up throng

before being confronted for our shirks.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Social commentary. I was sick of humanity's stupidity and cruelity. 2001

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Go Ahead

Mi Familia

I know I've fucked up

I know I've lost your trust

I know I don't deserve your love

If you are going to cut me off

Just Go ahead.

All I can do now

Is pray and hope

All I can do now

Is scratch at my arms

Pleading for the end

Go ahead and hurt me

Go ahead and make me cry

Go ahead and beat me

Go ahead and try.

Fuck this life that I was given

Fuck my choices that brought this on

Fuck your hatred of me

Go ahead and fuck it all.

I won't give you

The satisfaction of seeing me cry

I won't let you see my pain

It's not like I could have much more.

Go ahead and hurt me

Go ahead and make me cry

Go ahead and beat me

Go ahead and try.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

To mum.

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The hells of the new world

My life was burning as i entered the blackness

Fires burn near me

My life is gone

The wire of life is gone

Ashs to Ashs

Dust to Dust

Thats the end for everyone

The flames of industrual pain

Thick fogs of gas from the Mental health adviser

I'm gone Your gone were all dead

The gases killed us all

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this is about the pain and suffering of the fogs of indestry

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Not in the name of I (00100001)

They are in here.

ruller of the country

not in the name of I

you torture



drive the people to cry

our leader in the free world

not in the name of I

freedom from life



drive the people to cry

our leader of the economy

not in the name of I

allow constant exploitation



drive the people to cry

our leader in war

not in the name of I

freed a country for oil



drive the people to cry

our leader in beleifs

not in the name of I

remove our rights

patriot act




not in the name of I





not in the name of I







drive the peoples to open eyes

unite against he we despise

and cry no more, but now revolutionize

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Only You

Gave me hope

Only you

Helped me cope

Only you

Dried my sorrows away

Only you

Pulled me to face a new day

Only you

Saved me from me

Only you

Helped me finally see

Only you

Carried me on a journey

Only you

Let me be

Only you

Put me above

Only you

Let me love

Only you

Only you...

Let me love only you.

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Jobless Seizure


Oh my sense and sensibility,

Where art thou?

Pay check find me.

I cannot reap, I have not sown.

These trends of globalization,

Has long trapped our nation.

Rights traded, and for lesser cost,

The First Worlds grin at human diamonds.

Growth! Opportunities! Work!

Where art thou?

Seems your a million miles away.

Stay- in danger. Leave- still in danger.

I am alienated by economic events,

Inherited the perpetual disease of my nation.

Everyone wants to escape- and go where?

Anywhere but here- and history repeats itself.

No! Not me- I won't give up! Not Yet.

C'mon! Let me have my rightful room.

This is my land, my country, my riches!

Never should I retreat in tears.

I guess my sense and sensibility found me.

But resources are still in state of scarcity.

Growth! Opportunity! Work! Pay check- find me!

Before I knock my own head and see a better reality.

That it is indeed anywhere- but here.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I am such a spender. A jobless spender.
How's about that? Can anyone get any luckier?~�jerlin 05 Apr 2005

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