obsession

Obsession

Please, open your eyes,

you are blinded by an obsession.

it is getting between your life.

it has put you in a state of depression.

I know it hurts and is hard to move on.

but hopefully you have learned a lesson.

you only see the past,

but you're missing the present.

God's giving you a chance to make you happy.

i wish you would see this as a blessing.

all those days you have gone to church has paid off.

but all you see me as is a distraction.

i am so sweet to you and would give you everything.

but basically all i am is a refraction,

of him, the only one you see.

you never even gave me a reaction.

one day you will get over him,

but will also lose my affection.

the only thing you are forgetting is this,

over your head, blinding you, is a blanket of obsession.

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Cats,My cats

Cats,
Beautiful,elegant,playful
Cats,
They run around enjoying the world,
so carefree.
Cats,
I am them,they are me.
Cats,
Such pleasant creatures.
I love having them around.
Cats,
I am where my cats are found.
Cats,
My fellow cats,my friends.
My cats,
Run with me
and free we shall be,
Together forever,my cats and me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this cause i love cats.And they shouldnt be eaten,nor should ne other creature be eaten,beaten,or taken for theier fur. Take this into consideration if you eat beat or fur animals...

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Sonnet For Playboy

Folder: 
Playboy

How do I love thee?

I don’t know if I do-

But the way you got me feelin’

Whooooooo



From the moment we met

You had me in the palm of your hand

You had me doin everything the very first night

Just like you had planned



I was trying to be good

Keeping composure and class

But you had me actin like R.Kelly

With your young ass



The things you said

Made me tingle in ways-

I never knew existed

Back in those days



“I’ve never kissed anyone with a tongue ring”

Yeah- you said that to me

But little did I know

You were a full-time freak



You knew what you were doing-

And you did it so well

You had my mind dirtied

Yup-I’m going to hell



But- I was in love

With a man who was gone

He was away for a year

And I waited that long



I went through my thing

I loved and I lost

And for my mistakes-

I paid the cost



Now here you are

You’re back in my life

But you have a new baby

Just born to your wife



I’m attracted to you

In the deepest way

The way you smile and laugh

And the shit that you say



And I fight with myself

Because what were doing is wrong

But if loving you aint right…

Well- you know the song



Every moment I have

I wanna spend it with you

But you’re usually with her

And I respect that-I do



But it hurts like hell

When I want you with me

And your phone is off

I leave a message at the beep



Just want you to know that I miss you

And I’ll see you when you can

And I think to myself

This isn’t even my man



But the thought of your body

Makes my heart skip a beat

The vibe we share

Has me trippin over my own feet



I don’t know what to do

Because I know that I’m wrong

But the way that you sexed me

To that Blackstreet song



I’m infatuated with you

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2003

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Poem For Playboy

Folder: 
Playboy

Time kept us apart for reasons unknown

But throughout the years my thing for you has grown

And now we meet again and you’ve moved on with your life

You have a baby on the way and you’ve got a wife

But thoughts of you I just can’t shake

I think of back in the days and the love we’d make

You bring me to a place that I love to be

When I had no worries- it was just you and me

Now we’re sneakin phone calls and wonderin who knows

But I’m down to ride and take this as far as it goes

I won’t cause any trouble and I’ll never hate

When you call on me, Darlin…I won’t be late

I’ll be your secret lover and I’ll love ya til you’re done

And I’ll never ever ever expect to be number one

All I ask is that you think of me when you need someone to talk to

You can call me at midnight and I’ll be right there for you

You don’t have to worry about me causing you pain

I won’t call you like crazy or drive you insane

It only takes a phone call and I’ll be there in a double

Whether you need some lovin or you’re in some trouble

I’m here for the long haul- as long as you need

And when you’ve had enough, consider yourself freed

Just give me sweet kisses and hold me once in a while

And always make sure that you show me that smile


Author's Notes/Comments: 

2003

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Their Shelter

The pain I feel

Can’t be numbed

This agony is the only thing that’s real

My pain is their shelter



I will always

Bring it on myself

So the pain stays

And it they will never feel



It will haunt me to the grave

To protect them

I have become its slave

Breaking me down



Pain and Failure they invade

My dreams are clouded

Into nightmares they all fade

Awaken to what’s real



This is what’s real

The agony

And this pain I feel

My pain is their shelter

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Who Knows?

These feelings...I dont understand

Nobody told me when you left

You wouldnt really go away

I can't get rid of you, of these thoughts

I go to bed thinking of another time, person

But in my dreams you still appear

I could never love you again

That's for sure

But somehow my mind is always on you

You're a drug and i'm high

My vision is clouded--my brain is fried

I'm only clear enough to remember one thing:

              You Hurt

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Sleepless

My eyes are not tempted to cry,

Perhaps they’ve had enough this time.

They must be sick of me,

As am I,

I’d like to leave them alone to cry.



But I can’t,

This soul cannot shake off this shell,

I’m left alone in my private hell.



Every shiver that runs up my spine,

Leaves me feeling cold inside.

Explaining nothing, leaving nothing,

I’m so alone,

So tired but I cannot sleep,



Restless, so numb and paralysed,

Sleepless, feel the stillness of my tired eyes,

Careless, but I know that I must care,

This panic inside must come from somewhere.



I tell myself these wounds have healed,

So that I can create some fresh ones,

Loveless, anything at all to feel.

But this feeling is not good enough,

Where is love?  I know its all just lust

I feel.



I know that I’m ugly,

You don’t have to tell me so,

I’ve always known.

View thebigsleep's Full Portfolio
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crossword

I am upset

This sanity upsets me

Upsets to the point of obsession with myself

With the distorted unfinished crossword self

I call it a crossword because each word is crossed

Out of my reality, out of my picture imperfect second by second time capsulated dilated ego

Expanding, expounding, pounding on the back door to the cave hiding the scent covered bookmarks my lover lost when passing through the inner pool of street smarts

Combinations create rebellion inside the monotone backside of every mind

And my lover relied on books, thinking it was possible to skip past the sticky waters

Without losing a piece

Now back to square one, square two is somewhere between the lines between the pages between the heartcover untitled manuscripts

The fingers hold them so tightly

So gently grasping the liquid dripping mystery ridden pages

My lover knows the answer is there somewhere, just needs to find the clock with the second hand matching the proper time set of the mind set

Unstructured memorabilia - calls it a memory of the future of a moment somewhere expected, with hope on the leash, says I'm there standing, with my hand across my home touching the only existence made possible by breath

And my breath is the key to the exit out of this mess

Says we all live for these moments and ours will never get crossed out

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i don't normally go this far into symbolism.  most of the stuff here is pretty wicked though.  the lover thing is both life and an actual lover

View uglyalek's Full Portfolio
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Luxuries

Folder: 
Bumptious

Say no to peace

Or else

How do we fleece?

The common-man

Of his bread butter jam, cheese.

Impede progress

He’s forever on his knees

Our luxuries.

Find fault

Point elsewhere

Cover own weakness

Divert the rays.

Strip tolerance, abuse the wise

Principle device in fools’ paradise.

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