A Suicide Letter "Revised for ThoughtShock"

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MatthewWayne

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Last seen: 8 years 19 weeks ago

Joined: 2003/02/02

A Suicide Letter "Revised for ThoughtShock"

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“A Suicide Letter”

(Poem from Psycho- Confessions Revised)

I try and put myself in that state of mind, as if searching for something I desperately lost and now trying to find. I peek inside the locked tombs I've suppressed back when I thought of suicide and was always depressed. On nights when I was alone, I'd cut while listening to a song on a track that was stuck. Like a broken record, the soundtrack of my life while creating art with this dull knife.

To Bleed. To feel the pain. Then to know you are alive. To vent, a symbol or statement. To question your very soul even the simple thought of control.

I never wanted to hurt anyone, never even wanted to own a gun. There was a chance I would have used it before I would have realized what I had done but I know I could do better so this is my Suicide letter.

"Living in this drug induced coma

swallowing pills, overdosed on somas

chopping lines of Codeine

While thinking of injecting Morphine

Trying to run from the most obscene

Escaping from your thoughts and mind

I am only human, born to sin

I am only mortal, struggling not to give in

Pinned against the wall

I sometimes wonder if I'm destined to fall"

Author's Notes/Comments:

This is actually a small edit to my old poem "A Suicide Letter" which can be found in Volume 2. As I mentioned in my comment on my other revised Poem "The Pain of Suicide" I am adding these to my book ThoughtShock.