unsaid regrets

The cost...

I wish I could explain exactly what and how I feel.
Human beings are stuipid that way.
We're able to feel too many things
Things that feel good and things that feel bad.
Some nights I wish I could be anything else but human.
We don't realize as people, how easy it is to break someone and crush them down to a pile of ash simply because they said something unknowingly...or perhaps lacked to say something that was important to them. 
"It wasn't intentional, i had no idea"
Something like that would be uttered out but that's human nature. Unknowing, clueless creatures.
Reasons beyond what I understand or am capable of knowing why, I may have discovered why I wish to remove my exsistance from this world. It's not that I want to live. It's that i want to live happy without being able to experience the bad things, BAD emotions.
However it can only be a dream.
Happiness is expensive.

Fragrance of the Words

And I heard the words approaching,
So close, so fragrant beneath her pressed lips
I waited, I listened...
Encouraging the woman I thought I loved,
Please, baby pleading with all remaining hope...
It wasn't meant to hurt, it was foolish,..
Perfumed blissful ignorance in my waiting acceptance,
whisper the words love, no other may need hear them,
for they are for my hurt, my scarring heart...
In her beautiful green eyes,.. She wants to,
But there is only the longest pause...
then a tear, shed to roll easily away
and I am no longer the reason for the words
something did happen, robbing the song they produce
in my heart, that in a breath, weakens...
Oh no, no, no, no don't give silence reign over our union.
Silence is nothing to my eardrums, as it is...
Too loud, and wretchedly painful to my heart.
So close, the words, the way to the way it was,
before,... one last kiss will never come...
As she turns and lives forever part,
all that is left, is the fragrance of a whisper
to remember, and words that never were never heard.
I'm sorry, I do love you, I will always, forever...
Words that never come.