tough

White paper flower

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Loss

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All When You Were Drinking

Folder: 
2012
Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one was about an ex boyfriend i had that used to beat me. We werent together very long and I ignored all of the signs. Long story short, before he ever laid a hand on me I was really mad at him for the night before throwing a chair at the TV after drinking and taking my perscription hydrocodine for pneumonia, so i walked away from him. He grabbed my arm to turn me around and my head hit the wall. I fell and blacked out and at first he said "Are you okay!?" Instantly he stood up and told me to "Get up- you're not even bleeding bitch". Still- STILL I moved in with him the next month and a week after my 21st birthday is when he actually physically hurt me. I thought he had broken my face. I even had a chance to report him because he stalked me at work and my boss knew he had been abusing me. I know you're not supposed to air all your dirty laundry out on the internet but I am PROUD of what happened to me. Not in a sense of being a fucked up person, but in a sense that I am SO much tougher than I was back then. I am stronger because God knew I could handle it and he put the right people in my life at the right time to motivate me to leave. If you or someone you know is a victim- please know you never have to be a victim- you can be victorious and fight back. You have every right to live your life without constant fear. The first day this all happened we were supposed to go bible shopping together- so just because he wants to be a good christian- doesnt mean you should stay. That was my excuse for awhile. That and he kept saying he'd quit drinking. (He still drinks to this day from what I know). I hope this brought you some hope. Hope that there are other people that have gone through the same things. I had to put things off in my life because of him. I had to quit the fire department, I failed school, I was lacking in job performance, and I had lost all of my friends. Today I have wonderful friends, a God that loves me, I'm back on a different fire department, I have probably too many jobs, and am going back to school this August.

Life.
Gets.
Better.

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