I want to applaud twice: : I want to applaud twice: first, for your respect for the traditional Tanka lineation and syllabification; and, then, for the gothis/science fiction effect that this poem presents.
Loved, love this - to be able: Loved, love this - to be able to walk away with dignity intact or even boltsered and recharged. And to be able to be doctoring, fathering, priesting as well as to doctor, father, and priest one to each other.
Boundless as desert dunes: A coyote scavenges for survival during a distanced romance; though what so becomes of his moon-quest? Do we discover through sifts, with burly paws of primordial passion, that eternally indivisible prism. Oh the starlight shimmers via phantom fingers who script precision for all us on such a hunt, boundless as desert dunes.
It was a brilliant strategy: It was a brilliant strategy to describe loneliness as a detachment from one's very self, creating a sense of utter emptiness. I could feel the crushing desolation in that space "where I once was" where "steps wander me through dreams". An impressive expression that hits the target and pierces the heart. Stunning!
Some striking wordplay blazes: Some striking wordplay blazes throughout this metaphorical perspective on hope and patience. There's an enthralling and radiant unfolding as "shards of darkness" dissipate into "sunlight’s dance"; then the cycle begins again on a note of blissful renewal.
And such an outstanding finale you created in that last line! Loving every moment of this.
Sparkling and alluring: Sparkling and alluring metaphors breathe a whirlwind of energy into this little study of human attraction. "To the outsider," you write, "it appeared/ as/ a circus of The Fates", but there is something very real, lasting and "glowing hot" in the delicate inferno of the union.
A dazzling dance.
I imagine there's quite a: I imagine there's quite a story behind this explosive, miniature portrait of a dangerous enchantress. Your layered metaphor of a teapot that produces heat and yet is "laden/ with lead" vividly illustrates two divergent experiences along the path.
A timeless pitfall presented in a flash of skill and casual grace.
>> View All Comment Activity >>