Angel eyes,
James Dean smile,
and a Marcos Not A Hero shirt
He was scouring the room when he found me first
Shy guy type,
crooked spine,
My heart compressed and prepared for the worst
The second he stepped in to my world,
I found my tongue struggling for some words
"I'm a bad conversation,"
I'd say, gripping harder on my first Chardonnay
"How else can you be a conversation?"
he'd flash a smile, flicking the last of his Marlboro Lights
And right there and there,
two souls collided into a glorious explosion,
sliding to the grip of the claws of the night
on the way to the familiar road
of sins, misery, and scenic memories
After two nights of flying ballistics
and crippling thoughts once abandoned,
Two hearts soon mixed
into a sparkling August poison
A blue bourgeois Libra
And a yellow-bleeding Leo
A pair of delicate, diamond hearts
Defying fate, seeking Cupid's darts
Rising from the dead,
Rising from ash
Rising for the words once left unsaid
The thrill of it all is eating me whole
I feel the shaking ground and the cold air blows
Omens, cautions, and warnings
Red lights above us all blaring
A whirlwind romance, friends say,
is bound for doom and eventual fade
But his words are enough to hold on to
Words that make my demons fade into view
along with my bad past as I start anew
Away from the dark clouds
that have crippled me.
Where Is Davos City?
.
And why did you stop posting? Welcome back. The old names seem to drift in and out periodically. Your imagery has grown tremendously. Suggeste" claws grip the night" or as claws gripped the night" and get rid of both "of"s. Tight imagery. How about just "two nights of ballistics". - Stella Louise
Thank you! I've also read you
Thank you! I've also read you message. I will really look into this one. :) Anyway, it's Davao City, not Davos hehe. Davao City is in the Philippines. I'm a Filipino. :)
:D <3 So Beautiful. I love
:D <3 So Beautiful.
I love the details.
The marlboro lights,
the libra and leo (good mix)
cosmos
romance
love this
Great job!
Thank you!! I'm really glad
Thank you!! I'm really glad you liked it. This really means so much to me. I hope to read more of you, too!
Well the vibe is great and
Well the vibe is great and lyrical nature of the poem until a couple of clunky lines " the grip of the claws of the night" needs reworking perhaps its the two 'of' in the sentence or claws dont harmonise with the mood as much as into the talons of the night...
Then the next lines: after two nights of flying ballistics
Doesnt work pernaps verbal balistics sexual ballistics jealous ballistics it needs more feathering or meshing
The rest as far as these types of poems go is exceptional.
Congrats ss
Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS
"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."
Thank you very much for
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and give me feedbacks. This means much to me, to enable me to grow as a poet. :) I will look into it later after work and maybe edit those parts. Thank you again!
Hmm... I really well told
Hmm... I really well told story here ;) drowning and... Contagious
Thank You!
Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it. :)