What have I began?

My heart swinging like a block of metal,
My head pounded with sorrow,
My life seems as weak as a stranded petal,
All the time I've had to borrow.
All I have done is mislead others,
Make them believe in what isn't true.

I have built a wall of lies around me,
To block myself from the world,
I have really began to start a spree,
For their lives i have whirled.
All of this was only meant to last a day,
But yet it continues for the third month.

The only way I can stop this,
Is to stop my life,
There is those who I will miss,
All this brings is strife.
I have to end it,
But it's too much for me to loose.

I have been incredibly selfish,
Ruining the life of others,
To end this I cannot accomplish,
I cannot get my druthers.
All I think about is to end this,
I have ruined my life and others.

Why did I begin this,
I beg for it to end,
I have caused a huge crisis,
Please forgive me my friend.
To all of who I harmed,
I am greatly sorry.

Now all I have to say is goodbye,
To my family and friends,
I'm sorry you don't know why,
And that my life must come to a stop.
I began this,
I have to end it.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem about my current feelings and thoughts.

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Bloodbutterfly's picture

Cheer up ^_^

Please don't let things like that ruin your life. I know there are many things that are bad enough out there but nothing is bad enough to be a reason to die in your own hands as I say to one of my loved ones (bf) there is but one thing you can do that is good enough a reason to kill yourself, and that thing is getting rid of all of your friends (whether real world or online) and I mean all of them, so good luck getting rid of me!!!! When I say that I mean it you are now officially my friend and I hope you feel better. BTW great poem

You can only be as beautiful as you tell yourself you are, but you can't let beauty get to your head.

CrazyCallum113's picture

Thanks for the comment but

Thanks for the comment but unfortunately standards have continued I decrease, I've tried facing my back to the things I have done but I always return.

SSmoothie's picture

I hope you have moved on from these feelings!

You know what the truth will set u free. It will sting and lesson learned and you'll lose a bit of respect then gain it back and make new friends with whom you can be you. Accept your part take accountability as your friend, don't worry the punishment we imagine is always far LESS worse than we imagined. Trust me I know this! Hugs and prayers SS great work by the way! I nearly forgot! Lol! ;D

Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."

CrazyCallum113's picture

Thanks for the comment. The

Thanks for the comment. The thing is if I try to get rid of what I have done I feel the pain more and it gets to much for me so I have to return, I canno get away from it - I guess I just have a week soul.