Secrets in the sand

knowing you the way I got to, helped me really appreciate the rain pouring down, & to look past the clouds.. 

I never felt one with the sand until you touched my hand.. even the fireworks weren't ever as breath-taking.. 

you to me, were like a piece of breathing earth, with eyes, & ears.. a heart.. but too many fears.. 

I can't say you have much more then me, though.. & it doesn't matter which one of us is less flawed..

 

I wish I could fly away to a paradise, somewhere i'll finally have all the closure I need... for everything..

I feel like I have to fight with myself everyday.. battle of self esteem, hopes, dreams, disappointments, needs.. 

I battle to stay awake, & I battle to fall asleep.. 

 

wherever did the peace go? whatever happened to the flow...

I got lost in the forest of my mind, trying to become free..

but more then a few of these deeply rooted trees have collapsed & fallen on top of me..

scratching at the dirt, gripping at the grass.. I can't breathe..

 

is love just as much baggage as hate..? because they both seem to feel equally heavy..

maybe inside i'm just overweight.. 

maybe that's what i've been seeing.. 

how can I work from the inside, out..? 

how can I prevent these ups & downs..? 

do you even know..? I didn't think so..

it's all up to me.

 

learn to appreciate the rain... even if it's drenching you in pain..

i'll always be your secret.. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2.27.13